In the beginning God created....

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by chickengirlnm, Nov 17, 2007.

  1. chickengirlnm

    chickengirlnm Songster

    Sep 4, 2007
    clovis, new mexico
    In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower,and spinach,with green yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.
    Then using God's bountiful gifts, satan created dairy ice cream. And satan said " You want hot fudge with that?" and man said " Yes!" and woman said " I'll have one too with chocolate chips." and they gained 10 pounds.
    And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.
    And satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And woman went from size 12 to 14.
    So God said " Try my fresh green salad."
    And satan presented Blue cheese dressing with garlic croutons.And man and woman unfasted thier belts.
    God then said " I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
    And satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken fried steak, so big it needs its own platter. And man's cholesterol went through the roof.
    Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
    Then satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced it into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding salt. And man put on more pounds.
    God brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds.
    And satan came froth with cable tv with remote control so man would not have to toll to change channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
    Then God gave them lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
    And satan created McDonalds and the 99cent double cheeseburger. Then satan asked " You want fries with that?"and man replied " Yes, and super size it."

    And man and woman went into cardiac arrest.
    God sighed.. and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
    satan created Medicare, the final word on nutrition, after an exhusted review of the research literature, here's the final word:

    1- Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    2- Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    3- Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    4- Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    5- Germans drink beer and eatlots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
  2. okiechick57

    okiechick57 Songster

    Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  3. Arklady

    Arklady Songster

    Jan 30, 2007
    ROFLMAO!!![​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Last edited: Nov 17, 2007
  4. leghorns_rule

    leghorns_rule Songster

    Jul 30, 2007
    syr New york
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] seems about right!

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