Is it me or is this just plain rude?


12 Years
May 8, 2008
North Carolina
I have a first cousin who has 2 kids. Every year she plans a birthday party for them and every year she sends the invitation to me last minute via my mother. I just find it extremely rude that she can't either send an actual invitation to us or pick up the phone and call me herself. On Thursday night I got a facebook "event" invitation for her 14 year old daughter's party for TODAY! Keep in mind that I have a 16 month old and he is normally napping at 2:00. Here is what was sent...

C has finally decided to have her birthday party this Sat. at 2:00 p.m. It's a pool party so suit up
Hope you all can come!

How would you feel about this?​
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10 Years
Sep 29, 2009
South Africa
Firstly, if it was my cousin I wouldn't have gone. Is she doing this to revenge you of some old squabble or is it how she treats every other person?
I have had one such friend, and indeed it was a pain to suddenly get an invite last minute or a text message. Many times when there was gatherings she would not let me know until the very night or when she knew I has something else to do. After a while I decided to end this "usage" and "rudeness" by confronting her about it.
Is it you or is it plain rude?...I'd say plain rude.

I apologize for my ranting.


8 Years
May 5, 2011
Ooops! I kinda just did this too.
I have been trying to pin down a place to have my soon to be 4 year old sons party on Sept 11 and I am just sending the invites today! My problem was finding a place to accomidate all of us and I was sickly this week...If it helps I feel REALLY bad about the short notice...granted I gave them a few more days than she gave you!

On a more helpful note: I have 2 kids. My best friend has 0 kids. I have been told by her
that some moms get so wrapped up in thier own lives that they forget that other people have lives too. Might be true? I however refuse to see it

Sorry.....inconsiderate people stink!


Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast
Premium Feather Member
14 Years
May 14, 2008
North Phoenix
My Coop
My Coop
Sounds like you got a day and a half notice.

You can FB her back saying that is nap time for your youngin' but thanks for the invite anyway.

(and you should have done it the second you read it)


8 Years
Jul 29, 2011
Montgomery County Texas
I would feel a little put off if someone couldnt figure out how to invite me. Thats how my entire family works, and usually I won't even get a a verbal invite. When I come over to visit, I almost always end up attending some event that everybody knew about and they 'Just can't believe no one told me'. Its can get pretty annoying, and I'm sure when I have kids it'll be even worse.


10 Years
Apr 15, 2011
It doesn't strike me as being rude, no. When this happens, I just say "sorry, I have other plans". If the person giving short notice gets huffy, then it is rude. If they are just scatterbrained, they may find most people are unable to make it to the rushed events, but I don't find it to be rude unless they demand/expect people to drop everything and come. Course, I find that behavior to be rude even if tons of notice is given. Some of my favorite people are scatterbrained. I love them that way..keeps life interesting.

As for calling, if someone is constantly getting left out or if, again, the person doing the inviting is huffed when people don't show, yes rude. I see no problem with general invites though. I do not expect or need a personal invite to any occasion from family or others.

If you've talked with family, and you are the only person getting invited very last, then yes, ask what is up directly, or assess whether that is something being done to purposefully hurt you.
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9 Years
Apr 28, 2010
I agree with mahonri.

The fact of the matter, it was too short of notice to attend anyway, most people already have thier plans for the weekend well in advance. On that note, it sounds intentional, as if she doesn't really want you to come, so I'd say...let it slip off your back because you are valued and don't need something petty such as this impacting any negative feelings upon yourself and your family. If she values your attendance and presence then she would have sent a timely invite with the rest of them. You are better and bigger than this so don't let it get to you and carry on with your weekend as planned. A happy baby is what's important.


12 Years
May 8, 2008
North Carolina
I asked my 13 year old if he wanted to go and he already had plans with his friends so we won't be attending this year. I guess my frustration today is really with my mother who will make me feel guilty for not making my son go to the party... I'm just venting in advance.

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