Is it Wrong to have a "Crush" on Someone if You Are Married?

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It DOES seem like you are worrying about DH becoming too much like your father .......... it also sounds like you just plain aren't really working with your husband, so much as against him. There won't be any improvement until you decide to help him and yourself. FORGET the comparisons to your parents marriage and the crush. The crushed upon guy is probably no better than your hard working father of 3 children.

I really think you need to look in the mirror and ask some questions.

Things like:
Why do I resent my husband?
Why can't I respect him?
How can I get our marriage back on track?
Why do I feel like because I lost weight at the gym, he has to do the same?
Why does my husband seem depressed?
Why do I keep buying ice cream for him to eat when I want him to lose weight?

Then go ask him the same questions. Encourage him to talk about HIS troubles. He probably isn't any happier than you are.

There are a million other questions. But your posts do tend to be all about you. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I always like to hear both sides of the situation. Right now, you seem to be very righteous and he sounds awful. I suspect there is a middle ground somewhere.
 
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1st of all, my son is not allergic to feathers, only food allergies. The birds are kept far enough from the house.
2nd of all, yes, I was upset that my husband has been careless with the kids and did in fact break my daughters tooth (permanent tooth) and needed all kinds of orthodontic work. He burnt his face at work because he was careless and his partner was part to blame too. He never reported the incident to his job because he didn't want his partner to get in trouble. What about his family? Yes, I had to take care of him, and I did, along with taking care of all my daughters orthodontic needs.
3rd of all, yes, his weight gain has led to poorer hygeine.
4th of all... I am NOT selling anything, your opinion means absolutely nothing to me.
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You must be an amazing person, wait... I'll make you a medal.
 
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Yes, I do worry somewhat about him turning into my father.
I buy ice cream for my 3 kids. They are all on the thinner side and I don't see why I cannot buy some goodies for them that he shouldn't have.
We are going to work on it. I wouldn't say he's depressed (that I know of) he is tired from a lack of sleep sometimes. Not all the time though.
 
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.....just a random ramblin fron this old geezer on love and marriage...the definition of love---when you care about the other person more than yourself,,,,,,,,and never , never marry someone you can live with.....marry someone you can't live without ....
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..said my 2 cents and ask for God's help......
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It would be wise not to act on your crush, I you are an honest good hearted person you should tell your husband,, dont lead him on and on, it will hurt him and make you look like a fool, its not fair to your husband, But if you are asking BYCer's you have already killed your marriage, , just be honest to your husband, before you kill his spirit just my 2 cents
 
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He actually does like his job. He has said so. Its hands on and he went to school for the job offered so he could be in that department. There is alot of downtime too on his shift. If he is given 8 hours to finish a job, he usually finishes in 6. He naps and reads the paper and listens to the baseball games.
 
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I never planned to "act" upon it. It was just a feeling.

dont you think you have already acted on this ,by asking all the people on here? I hope your husband finds out and leave you, you are not worthy of his love
 
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I never planned to "act" upon it. It was just a feeling.

dont you think you have already acted on this ,by asking all the people on here? I hope your husband finds out and leave you, you are not worthy of his love

Sheesh... she's asking for advice. That seems a bit uncalled for...
 
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