Is There Anybody Else Here With Aspberger's Syndrome?

[justbugged]

I have an internal clock that can be very accurate, but it goes haywire just often enough to get me into trouble. The worst is when I lose, what day it is. I also have a great sense of direction. I have always blamed that on the terror of being lost, when I was very young. Or it could have been my mother's terror that she would some how get forced to stay in the wrong lane and then be force to go over one of the floating bridges is Seattle. I still don't know why she didn't seem to know that you could just go to the next exit and turn around. Mom had away of talking out loud about her fear of getting lost, and always talked like if she went over the bridge, that there was no way home again.

I know now that I can count on myself to be able to get home from anywhere, and it is rather fun to see how many different ways there are to do that. It is a very good thing to know that you can turn the car around as many times as you need to.

 

[EweSheep]

definately NOT happy with my dd.....bullying issues or aggressiveness issues (as the teacher puts it nicely). We had a parent and teacher conference last night, which dd did soooooooooo well in acadametically but socially indept. I didn't know about the two issues happened last week and this week, which dd did not tell me. Teacher told me not to worry too much and they will work with her but for me as a parent have gone to family counseling, something is wrong here and I know some of the issues are between dh and dd...they fight constantly like kids!

She slapped one kid hard in the face last week.
Earlier this week, she punched a kid in the stomach.

The teachers did not report it and they did give her a time out. Now we know this, they will give her detentions. She is six years old with a 12 year old mind.

My dd and I can get along most of the time and happily so. If I got my awareness going on, I will have to stop her from doing anything just before she goes into a melt down or temper tantrum for whatever she is doing, like homework, coloring or watching TV.

When my dh comes in, chaos starts......you can figure out the rest. It went down badly between the two of them.

Now hubby knows what he is doing wrong, sort of a ODD behavior he has and dd has something like that. No ADD of anysort that the teachers are aware of, she is able to focus and do things most of the time.

Definately NOT happy!

 

[MrsChickendad]

My grandson has Aspergers Syndrome. He likes a lot of structure to his day and does not like surprises. He always wants to know what is coming next, when and how long it will be. I think it is his way of structuring his environment. He is very impulsive and distractible. Last year he had an aide in school and because his handwriting was so poor, he used a little computer to input his school work. When he gets anxious or frustrated, he will have a melt down. We (the family) have been working with him to recognize the feeling of anxiety and give him an alternative way to cope with it. He spends a lot of time thinking, "What if?" and then asks us what to do if the "what if" happened. We do limit the number of times we will respond to the same question so he doesn't obsess. He is sensitive to noise, therefore cannot tolerate music class, auditoriums (echoing). My daughter got him satin chinese pajamas because he is sensitive to anything prickly or rough on his skin. He likes a heavy (in weight) wool blanket on him at night, and has used a weighted vest at school in the past.

We pointed out to him that many famous people have been Aspies. Thomas Edison, Bill Gates, Thomas Jefferson, many people who have been involved in invention and engineering. They have an advantage over neurotypical people because they can focus so closely and for such a long time on things that interest them. The problem in school of course is the subjects that don't interest them. If it weren't for people with aspergers we probably wouldn't have all the great inventions we have today.

One technique that has worked well with the grandson is to set a time limit for talking about his latest passion: cars, civil war data, weather data, computers, whatever it may be. "Okay, we will talk about computers for the next 5 minutes. After that, it is someone else's turn to choose." This satisfies his need to be heard, yet keeps everyone else from overload.

The school is required to provide an IEP for your asperger child, and usually hold regular meetings with parents and staff to state goals and how they will be handled.

Hope this helps someone!

 

[Nicola]

Quote:
So it is considered with the spectrum of Autism, but yet it is for the most part very different for the majority of us that know we have it or think that we have it. It is very different in how it affect a person than how Autism effects a person. It is something that you can live a completely "normal life" and never know you have it, or you are like me and know that somehow you are different, but didn't know why for the first 50 years of your life. I am scheduled to be tested for it this coming March. It is not like it will change my life a lot, as far as I can tell.

On the other hand if your brother is still very young, it may make a world of difference to him. The whole family will know what he can and can't cope with. That to me is priceless. I was labeled lazy and not very smart in school. The other kids treated me an outcast. I didn't understand why, and the adults didn't even acknowledge that it was happing. I knew I was different, and yet I have had to work from a point that is like every one else's normal in life. And yet I am different and have all the quirks to prove it. I have become isolated over the years, because sooner or later I do something that will upset the friends that I have had in my life. Because the assumption is that I am just like they are, and therefore I must have been doing it on purpose. I still don't know what I did either. I wouldn't worry about the labels so much as, just be happy to find the answers that will help you understand your brother better.

yeah my brother is similar... He is smart he just doesnt use his brain

and he is very lazy but im pretty sure its a bitta both of him and the possible asburgers... he doesn't cope with heaps of noise well.. fixates on things. etc. he is still in school so yes he is young.

 

[justbugged]

It is such a relief to have reason why I am like I am. I have always known that there was something about me that was not quite the same as other people. I have never had a way to explain it or have anyone willing to admit or explain the differences between their selves and me. I know that I am not lazy. I think that Aspies are so busy inside that we are often not able to do something that someones thinks is important right away. It takes time to figure out that something outside of ourselves needs to be done. I do know that when I do things it is never the way that other people do the same task. I just have this thing that says if it got done, who cares how it was done. I found that for me things like that really bother NTs.

 

[MrsChickendad]

I believe the world needs all kinds of people. We need those with aspergers to give us a different way of looking at things (think Temple Grandin and her ability to see things from an animal's point of viewj). Thomas Edison persisted—what 700 times—until he got a working light bulb. Albert Einstein "wasn't good at math".

I think dealing with aspergers means celebrating the differences, and learning to work around things that are not problems for NTs. My aspie grandson cannot "go clean up your room." It has to be broken down into steps: put clothes in hamper, then books back in bookcase, then make bed, etc. My daughter has spent a lot of time teaching him social skills: shaking hands, looking someone in the eye, holding the door, please and thank you, same things you would teach any child. He gets very anxious if he doesn't know how to respond to a situation, so she has taught him what to say to politely refuse something, etc.

I guess my point is, celebrate your uniqueness, concentrate on what you do well and realize that NTs are not universally popular either. (Nobody wants to go thru Junior High again—everyone felt like the odd man out!) If everyone were the same, we would never learn to think outside the box, learn compassion, tolerance and service to others.

 

[annaraven]

Quote:
I am 47 years old and *I* cannot "clean my room" or "clean my house". What I *can* do, is wash a load of dishes, or harvest the clothes from the floor, or other "tasks". I needed to have Flylady break it down for me before I ever was able to get a handle on housework. I knew how to wipe a counter and I knew how to wash the dishes; I just couldn't figure out how to put the pieces together to have a clean kitchen. So yeah - it's a common Aspie thing to not be able to figure out how to do a big multi-step thing. We need it broken down over and over and over again until we make it into a habit.

 

[Domestic_goddess]

My oldest son who is 13 years old, has Asperger's! We got the diagnoses when he was 9 years old. We've been through h*ll and back with this child. We finally find some medications that are working and he's doing amazingly well right now! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

 

[justbugged]

Quote:
What kind of meds work for Asperger's? For some reason I thought it is treated with cognitive behavior therapy.

 

[justbugged]

I can remember the first time I learned how to clean a room up. I was trying to get my kids to clean up their rooms, when it came to me. It is simple just pick and put away the biggest thing in the room. Then do the same with the next biggest thing and so on. I have found that when trying to clean up something that if the biggest thing is gone it will make the biggest difference in the room. I still have too think through the problem in order to get it done.