its all my fault im an idiot

yupp
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Don't beat yourself up about what happened. Last winter on a night that the temperature dropped to -15 I didn't go out to insure all my birds had gone to roost before the automatic door closed. The next morning I found a beautiful buff orpingston frozen, sitting on the ramp at the door. The difference between a fool and a wise man is that the fool never learns from his mistakes.
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