Its hard being in charge of everything at home.

[SillyChicken]

"oh but honey, you do it so much better" is a complete line of BS that's their way of saying "But I dont' wanna!" (incert lip pouting and foot stomping smiley here)

 

[sumi]

I know! I usually say something rude in reply. I'm very rude

At the moment we're having a cookie stand-off. I'm refusing to bake more and told him he knows where the recipe book is. He tried the "but you make it so nice" line the other day when I asked him why HE doesn't cook more jam, if he thinks we're running out. I reminded him it was he who taught me to cook jam. Oops.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Honey, it sounds like you need a vacation. Pack your bags, pick a place to go to de-stress and off you go. Your husband will manage just fine. It might not be the way you would do it, but the kids will get fed and will be clothed. Chores will get done. You need a break before you implode though.

It's the caregiver thing. You have to take care of the caregiver first or you have no reserves to pull on to care for everyone else. It will be good for you to have a mental break. It will be good for your husband to see exactly what all it is that you do all day. Your kids need to know that they can function without mom for a few days. If you will go rest, then you can come back home refreshed and revived and ready to go.

A year ago my sister was in a similar situation. I stole her and we went to the beach for a week with some friends. Her husband panicked and then was just fine. It was a learning experience for him and she came back in a much better place physically, mentally and emotionally

If you can't finagle a week, take a long weekend. Leave Friday after hubby gets home from work and come back late Sunday. Check in at home once a day, but don't have the cell phone with you constantly. Let hubby figure stuff out and you take a break!

 

[mayfieldk]

Man. I would love to go to work and walk home to a clean house, food on the table, clean clothes, not have to bus the kids any where... Why would he help you make lists when you already do it? Why would he do anything if you don't ask or set Boundaries?

Number 1: COMMUNICATE. If he does not know that you are so stressed, that is because you are not expressing it to him. If he tries to come back with avoidance comments like 'you're so much stronger than you think', let him know you are serious, this is too much, and it will no longer continue.

Number 2: Bring in the 'guns' if he doesn't want to play. He wants food? He can make his own. He wants clean clothes? He can clean them. Have your children step up and do small tasks. You are his wife, not his maid, his cook, or his secretary. When he married you and decided to have a family, it doesn't mean he doesn't have to put in his share of the family work.

Set time for you. You already know he does when he comes home and does nothing but what he feels like doing!