It's My Party & I Can Cry If I Want To.......

[rainplace]

Quote:
Huh?

 

[snowydiamonds]

No one is perfect. That is the message...sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture, there are bigger problems going on in the world and if you don't enjoy what you are doing, change it so you are...adapt, revise, overcome.

 

[twentynine]

Quote:
Huh?

Guess I was a bit confusing.
Last Xmas my brother drunk, with his adulteress wife with his 16 year old son. The son I maight add plays mom against dadn and couldn't tell the truth if it bit him on the arse. Throw in an 84 year old dad who thinks the sun rises and sets on the drunk. AND IT ALL MELTS DOWN ON XMAS AT MY HOME. Man what a nice party. I have never seen 50 people leave any one place so fast in all my life.I could continue with details but I think you get the drift now.

 

[OrpingtonManor]

Quote:
Hi Cousin!

I think the thread of commonality here is that you can't pick your relatives (although I would definitely pick you!) And, people are complex, so bring to the (literal) table all kinds of old issues.

We would do better at getting along if we sat down at a table with strangers. We also would do better if we didn't come to Thanksgiving dinner expecting someone else to do ALL the work. We aren't magicians. Sometimes it's a struggle just to get a all the dishes of a regular meal to be finished and hot at the same time without overcooking something. Thanksgiving dinner tends to be one where we need two ovens running three different temps, and eight burners on the stove to cook everything.

Time to delegate. Tell them to bring their favorite dish, and make them specify what that will be. Host should be in charge of the bird and stuffing/dressing, gravy, and setting the table. Everything (!!) else should be brought by the "guests," since they are family, and should know better than to be waited on hand and foot. Don't let the men and boys off the hook. Everyone can make something. Yes, they can make it at your house if that makes sense. But otherwise, they should use their own kitchens for prep and then bring it. Dinner will be much more manageable, and everyone will have fun sharing a dish that they love. If they have time to complain, then they have time to help.

 

[HarlansHollowFarms]

Quote:
Hi Cousin!

I think the thread of commonality here is that you can't pick your relatives (although I would definitely pick you!) And, people are complex, so bring to the (literal) table all kinds of old issues.

We would do better at getting along if we sat down at a table with strangers. We also would do better if we didn't come to Thanksgiving dinner expecting someone else to do ALL the work. We aren't magicians. Sometimes it's a struggle just to get a all the dishes of a regular meal to be finished and hot at the same time without overcooking something. Thanksgiving dinner tends to be one where we need two ovens running three different temps, and eight burners on the stove to cook everything.

Time to delegate. Tell them to bring their favorite dish, and make them specify what that will be. Host should be in charge of the bird and stuffing/dressing, gravy, and setting the table. Everything (!!) else should be brought by the "guests," since they are family, and should know better than to be waited on hand and foot. Don't let the men and boys off the hook. Everyone can make something. Yes, they can make it at your house if that makes sense. But otherwise, they should use their own kitchens for prep and then bring it. Dinner will be much more manageable, and everyone will have fun sharing a dish that they love. If they have time to complain, then they have time to help.

well said!

 

[Phox01]

After 2 years of WWIII in my living room because my 4 boys can't getalong I said no more . I mean knock down , fist , and weapons war , not just arguing. I told them no Thanksgiving dinners , no Christmas dinners . DIL tried doing the dinner the next year , she did a great job with the cooking , after the fights were over she told me never again . We go to each of their houses on christmas to drop off presents and then head home to peace and quiet . You can pick your friends but not your family .


Mary

 

[trilyn]

Quote:
Same here-when we go to Dad's, I make a point of showing up early to help and bringing a dish or two, it makes life easier all around. Nowadays, my sulky BIL stays at home and it's just my sis and the kids-alot less stressful!

I totally agree on the dining room table and chairs-gorgeous!!

 

[deb1]

I think making people bring a dish will make them feel more connected to the dinner and thus less likely to Biyatch.

Maybe your Bil was taking his anger out on the dinner when he is actually made about something else. So, try not to take it personally. (I know that is hard, isn't it?)

 

[OrpingtonManor]

Quote:
What was the old saying? "Idle hands are the work of the devil."

4 "boys" (men?) in living room= no responsibility= 4 men acting like children

4 "boys" + 4 spoons (sounds like they shouldn't be given knives, tell them they have to earn the right to have knives) + 4 recipes= 4 men with something to contribute

I don't blame you for ending family dinners.

 

[Lunachick]

Quote:
I'm thinking this is it.

I don't know why I would be the target, we've been more than generous to them. I feel better about the whole thing now, after purging last night. Yes, some of it sounded petty, (this is called a vent and that was what I was doing) but this was unusual behaviour for him to be that way (I think) But boy, for some reason he had daggers coming out of his eyes.....

In defense of my sis, she did bring over a veggie dish. It was the remarks, the looks and the feeling of conspiracy that made me feel very uncomfortable in my own home. I got the feeling they were making comments and complaining before they even got over here. So they came prepared for the attack. I think my sis felt she overdid it and instead of saying "gee, I'm sorry that was out of line" she said, "oh forget what I said earlier" as she went out the door with a dozen of my girls eggs!

thanks for the compliments on my dining table.