It's My Party & I Can Cry If I Want To.......

[1acrefarm]

Love the table. I wish I knew what to say about the relatives. You seem like a very sweet person that deserves better treatment than that.

 

[Cypress Hen House]

Lunachick, I'm glad you are starting to gain perspective and have gotten some it off your chest.

I just noticed that beautiful egg platter on your hutch - love it!

 

[Lunachick]

Hi.

I just want to say that I'm pretty lucky..my family is pretty cool. My parents were very neat people and brought us up right and how to be good. We all got along pretty good for kids

first born was 1946 last born was 1960, so we covered the baby boomer era quite well. All families have issues...for whatever reasons...

My vent was what it's worth. I don't have many complaints, and I admire those with horrendous family situations and can manage to hang on and try to live a normal life.

I don't have a family situation where we tear each other apart or torment each other. That's why I was hurt on Thanksgiving night, it was unusual and perplexing to me. And that made me feel very alone. I'm learning from this, no biggie, I just really appreciate everyone's support. After all it was my time of need and it was greatly appreciated.


Thank you 1acrefarm. You made my day.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
The thing is--they enjoyed their discussion, but you didn't.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

A lot of people prefer dark meat. For my family I would just as soon cook all dark meat, but I do know that some people prefer teh white meat, so I always make sure that both are on the plattter. I remember a Thanksgiving Dinner I went to years ago at a co-worker's home and there was no dark meat on the platter. I felt like the meal was all wrong, despite everything else being wonderful.

 

[the simple life]

I have a large family and all the siblings and their respective families would meet at my parents house for every holiday.
My parents were getting too old to do much of the cooking so I offered to host the holidays here but my mom really like to do the hosting.
So we all agreed to cook the food at our homes and bring it to my parents for the dinner.
I live the closest so my oldest girls would go over my parent's house the day before and help clean the house and organize everything.
It got to the point where I was told by my older sister to cook more and more of the dishes and all of the desserts, my brothers never brought anything 99 percent of the time and neither did one of my other sisters so it was me and the oldest sister.
She would call and say you need to make this and this blah blah blah.

I was spending $200.00 on the items to cook everything and then 2 days cooking it all and she was showing up with only two things and they were store bought.
I started to get more and more resentful of it all but wanted to keep the peace for my parents sake. My mother noticed how much I was doing and mentioned it to me because she felt bad but I told her it was not her issue.

After dinner they all sat around shooting the breeze while I and my older girls did all the cleaning. If I asked them to help out they would shoot eachother looks like I was being a jerk.
How anyone can show up and eat a dinner they didn't contribute to and then pack up and go home without helping their elderly parents clean is beyond me.
They never made their kids help either and some of them were young adults and should know better.
My parents would feel bad and say oh just leave it we'll do it after, but they are in their eighties for crying out loud and they had 35 people over for dinner.
The thing is though I was the one with all the young kids, sometimes I was pregnant or had a month old baby with me etc.and I was doing all this work.

I found out that the day after every holiday dinner my brother and his wife would show up and eat the leftovers.
They brought absolutely nothing to this dinner and never cleaned but they showed up for leftovers.
It really irked me because I brought all this food over and my parents never offered to send me home with any of the leftovers and most of the time I blew my grocery budget on buying the food for the holiday dinner.
My sister is a major troublemaker and I never wanted to fight with her because she drags the entire family into every squabble she has and she is a pathological liar.
So I just went along with everything even though I was miserable.

All I ever really wanted to do was to cook a nice meal and stay home with my own family, sit around our own table and talk.
At my parents the kids had to eat at a different table and the guys always ate in the den with plates on their laps because there was no room at the dining room table so after all the cooking and cleaning I did I never got to sit and enjoy a meal with my own family.
I knew I was being used I just didn't know how to get out of it without everyone flipping out on me.
I also host every single family event, bridal showers, baby showers, graduation parties, birthday parties, anniversary parties etc.
I get pressured into handling all the family stuff but no one ever does anything for me, if I need help with anything I am on my own.

I am the one with 7 kids not her and at one point I was 9 months pregnant, literally, my daughter was born on Thanksgiving and here I am in labor leaning on the kitchen counter trying to finish a freakin pie before I went to the hospital.
I finally finished everything, packaged and wrapped all the dishes and my husband drove over and dropped everything off, then he came back and took me to the hospital so I could have the baby.


After spending that holiday in the hospital, with my husband and kids around me, they brought me up some of the holiday dinner after I got settled in my room I realized that I needed to stand up for myself, I had been doing this for 20 years and the first time I got to eat a holiday meal with my family was in my hospital room.

I get to stay home now and have the most wonderful fun dinners with my kids, they love it too and have told me how much they hated going out for the holidays, especially Christmas when we had to leave so early to go help at my parents and they wanted to play with their toys.
I look forward to the holidays more now, I don't have to cook for 35 people and I (and this is the best part according to my husband and sons) have lots of leftovers for us to enjoy all week.

I wish I had done this sooner but at least I am getting to do it now, life is too short to allow people to ruin your holidays and family time.
I am sorry that your holiday did not go as well as you hoped, it seems like your bil was just looking for something to pick on.
I would just do the holidays the way you want and tell them that complaints are not welcome, if they want to eat earlier then stay at home and cook dinner themselves.
Life is to short, don't shortchange yourself when it comes to the special times.

 

[DuckLady]

Quote:
The thing is--they enjoyed their discussion, but you didn't.

No I didn't. Neither did the other 15 people there for a nice dinner.
No one enjoys yelling and name calling especially over something as stupid as politics.

 

[the simple life]

I'm with you, people need to be respectful at family dinners and no one else wants to listen to other people get into heated debates.
Not to mention it can turn nasty and ruin everyone's holiday.
Save that for when you are on your own time.

 

[DuckLady]

Quote:
Or out on the patio in the cold!

 

[seismic wonder2]

I don't put up with it.

My famous words are, "Welcome to my house...If you want to fight, go home. If you want to eat, this is what we are having, this is when we are eating. If you like it, GREAT, if not, Denny's is 1/2 mile down the street..."