It's My Party & I Can Cry If I Want To.......

[Lunachick]

Quote:
I'm starting to learn. I think I'm too nice and I'm being taken advantage of. I need to contact my inner b*tch and have some kind of conference.



But I wouldn't send my worst enemy to Denny's

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

I have a lot of family members that enjoy a good debate and a few who do not. Not every argument or debate results in anger, and that is a hard concept for some people to realize. I'm not saying that Thanksgiving Dinner at the table is a good place for this, but I am also not saying that it is entirely inappropriate. It depends. And everyone needs to be respectful of everyone else.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Both my Aunt and my MIL used similar technique for assigning kitchen cleanup duty. It was the kids' job, and they were matter-of-factly informed as dinner wound to a halt. Janey, please help Eric clear the table while Jimmy and Joan put away the leftovers. Mandy, can you start filling the sink with wash water? I think kids started helping at about age 8 or 10--old enough to not break good dishes.

Dessert was after all the dinner dishes were completed.

 

[catwalk]

I'm sorry you have bad actors in your family, Luna! My parents just left my house; they came over to tell me that I was "ruining" the holidays by not attending where my sister's boyfriend is welcome. This boyfriend was dating the both of us at the same time, and she was married at the time. Though they won't repent, I'm going to "the bad place" for not letting it slide. No apologies necessary, just get over it. *really?!*

I feel like hosting a giant Christmas dance party for those not wishing to spend the holidays with jerks. I guess, bottom like is, you don't have to be nice to people who are not nice to you. You don't have to return fire, but there is nothing wrong with letting BIL know that you feel slighted. The Bible says that he is blessed who craves correction.

BTW - my favorite pair of pants is a brand called Lunachix

 

[deb1]

Quote:
I don't think that I would want to spend the holidays with your sister either. You might forgive her but how could you ever trust her again? Or even like her enough to want to spend time with her?

If a good friend treated you like a jerk, people would wonder why you were so weak as to mantain contact with her. But if your family abuses you or acts cruel toward you, people are shocked that you might want to break off contact with that person.

 

[Sugar Sand Farm]

I have hosted the family dinners for 40 years now. A few years ago I got really ticked off. I spent all day working and cooking (we ran a dog kennel) After dinner they all got up and took a walk leaving me with the dirty dishes. The following holiday I cooked and as dinner was finishing I annoucnced taht I was done for the day and they were cleaning up. They all looked shocked but they did it. I pulled the same thing at Christmas and New Year. They fianlly got the message and started to help on their own. But this year DH had to work and it was just the two of us so I opted out. I told the family I had no intentions of cooking a huge meal for just myself. So they all made other plans I spent the day with DH a nice quiet day and cooked a small turkey on his day off. First time in 40 od years that I wasn't exhausted on Thanksgiving night.

 

[horsejody]

Luna, maybe your sister feels slighted because you have hosted Thanksgiving for so many years. Maybe she would like to give it a try. It might be a good wake up call to make her go to all of the work next year.

My biggest pet peeve about cooking for a crowd is that I prefer to be left alone in the kitchen to do it, but I end up surrounded by spectators. I have a husband that can magically appear right in front of what ever cupboard, fridge, oven or counter that I need to get to. No, he's not there to help. He's there to pretend he's helping and because he's bored. No, it won't help to give him a cooking or cleaning task because he can also magically dirty every pan and take up every inch of counter space even with the simplist tasks. And he does it without even realising it. This year while I was standing at the counter stuffing the turkey, DH informed me that one of the dining room chairs was wobbly and he was going to fix it. Great, he was going to have something to occupy him. I finish stuffing the turkey and turn around with the roasting pan to take it to the oven and discover that he is sitting on the floor right in front of the oven fixing the broken chair.

We has a 3 bedroom house, and nothing was going on in any of the other rooms. We have a huge 3 car garage complete with more tools than most men could dream of. We have 2 large decks and a big driveway. With all of those places to choose from, on Thanksgiving he decided to sit in front of the oven in the middle of the kitchen and take a chair apart and put it back together. DD works pretty well in the kitchen with me. We seem to be able to cook efficiently and stay out of eachother's way, but when DH is there a 3 hours of cooking becaomes 5 or 6.

 

[mzrea]

I have a husband that can magically appear right in front of what ever cupboard, fridge, oven or counter that I need to get to. No, he's not there to help.

Me too!​

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

They like y'all

For tasks to give them how about "Honey, can you run to the store and get some xxx. I don't have enough. Doesn't matter whether you need it or not, although if you do it is a better cover. And it definitely helps if the store is half an hour away.

Or you might ask him to go up to the attic (or garage or wherever) and get down the Christmas lights and start checking them to make sure there are no shorts. And please don't bring them in the house--you spent all day yesterday cleaning and they are bound to be dusty.

 

[25bengood2me]

Your table and dining room are beautiful!
SIS and BIL need to re-learn their manners - or do the cooking and hosting themselves. Let them do all the house prepping, then deal with visiting relatives.