Just had to post this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by badnfluinz, Jun 11, 2009.

  1. badnfluinz

    badnfluinz Songster

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    Viola, Illinois
    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door – nose height.





    Dear Dogs and Cats:



    The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming you food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.





    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.



    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.



    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door closed, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years, canine or feline attendance is not required.



    The proper way to kiss me, then go to smell the other dog or cats butt.

    I cannot stress this enough!



    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door.



    To all Non-Pet Owners who Visit and Like to Complain Abut Our Pets!



    They live here, you do not.
    If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture
    (that is why it is called “fur”niture)

    I like my pets a lot better then I like most people.
    To you, it’s an animal, to me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.




    Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

    Eat less
    Don’t ask for money all the time
    Are easier to train
    Normally come when they are called (well, OK, the cat thinks about it)
    Never ask to drive the car
    Don’t hang out with drug-using friends
    Don’t smoke or drink
    Don’t have to buy the latest fashions
    Don’t want to wear your clothes
    Don’t need a ‘gazillion’ dollars for college


    And Finally



    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
     
  2. Homesteading_Bound

    Homesteading_Bound Songster

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    Madison,Ohio
    Thanks... What a nice way to end my day....With a Smile....
     
  3. chickenwhisperer123

    chickenwhisperer123 Whispers Loudly

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    Lincoln, Nebraska
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  4. luvmychicknkids

    luvmychicknkids Canning Squirrel

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    I LOVE that!!!! Not many things actually make me laugh (not the noise making sort of laugh anyway) but this did. It is so true, so sweet. Thanks for posting that.
     
  5. mom2chicksandpups

    mom2chicksandpups Songster

    Apr 18, 2009
    Southeast Alabama
    Cute and funny! I have actually said that I like my 2 dogs better than most people I know. I will have to copy this so I can forward it to a few people.
     
  6. Mahonri

    Mahonri Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast

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    North Phoenix
    My Coop
    I've seen it before, but I loved that tonight.
     
  7. giasmom

    giasmom Songster

    Mar 31, 2009
    Woodville, Al
    I had a friend that gave me a pen & ink copy of this some time ago. I still have it framed somewhere. Hummm... Where is that ?
     
  8. christyware

    christyware Songster

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    Belton, Missouri
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] I loved that! LoL. Thanks for posting that! Owner of 1 Cat, 1 German Shepherd, 2 Shi-tzus, 1 Macaw Parrot, 2 Doves, 2 Horses, and 2 Chickens, and the Mother of a 3 yr. Old Boy, and 5yr. Old Girl. And Wife to a wonderful Husband.
     
  9. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

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    Years ago I got that in an email- and I had forgotten about it! Thanks for a new reason to giggle! [​IMG]


    Now, all I have to do is teach them to read! [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2009
  10. Crickett

    Crickett Songster

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    Heart of Dixie
    THANKS! I really needed a laugh, and your post gave me one!
     

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