It's tough letting them go, especially when you've reared them yourself. I had a similar situation with a bull - I could hug him, brush him, ride on him - but after he nearly charged a family member, I sent him to slaughter. I'd had him for about three years at the point. It hurt, but not as badly as the real pain he could have caused.
I hope you can find a nice, docile roo that respects you and your hens. They're hard to come by, but absolutely worth it!
I hope you can find a nice, docile roo that respects you and your hens. They're hard to come by, but absolutely worth it!