LGBTQ+ Poultry Keepers

It annoys me sometimes, that it's been over a year of trying to accept my sexuality. Over a year of knowing I like women and not men.
But I still feel like I'm in this corner, like it feels forbidden still, like I'm doing something wrong. Or that it won't work out because my brain cannot comprehend that two women can love eachother just as much as couples in traditional straight marriages. And that lead me to wishing I was a man so I could have a wife without those feelings.
I know that sounds very ridiculous

But I'm still breaking out of this mindset, that was so heavily put on me as a child. Is that weird?
I thought I dealt with my internalised homophobia but whenever I feel worried about getting into a relationship, and look deeply at it, I keep finding it's still there rooted deeply.
 
Back with news

So I might have posted about a gender crisis I was having- welp, it's gotten worse. Dysphoria is fun :/
I found out I was trans and I've started to tell a couple of people, first one of my friends- she's super supportive and I trust that she won't tell anyone. I've told my sister, and now all of the forum (with my new pfp).
I want to come out to everyone else but I'm gonna wait a bit so I can have a think about everything (like my name, pronouns, and how I'm gonna come out)
I've just been sitting alone in my room with cavetown and crippling dysphoria.
Overwhelming.

Also
https://www.backyardchickens.com/posts/26827009/
I have a chick!
 
Back with news

So I might have posted about a gender crisis I was having- welp, it's gotten worse. Dysphoria is fun :/
I found out I was trans and I've started to tell a couple of people, first one of my friends- she's super supportive and I trust that she won't tell anyone. I've told my sister, and now all of the forum (with my new pfp).
I want to come out to everyone else but I'm gonna wait a bit so I can have a think about everything (like my name, pronouns, and how I'm gonna come out)
I've just been sitting alone in my room with cavetown and crippling dysphoria.
Overwhelming.

Also
https://www.backyardchickens.com/posts/26827009/
I have a chick!
:hugs
I'm sorry to hear about your dysphoria, sounds really rough. We're all here for you and you can rant any time.
Congrats on coming out!
 
It annoys me sometimes, that it's been over a year of trying to accept my sexuality. Over a year of knowing I like women and not men.
But I still feel like I'm in this corner, like it feels forbidden still, like I'm doing something wrong. Or that it won't work out because my brain cannot comprehend that two women can love eachother just as much as couples in traditional straight marriages. And that lead me to wishing I was a man so I could have a wife without those feelings.
I know that sounds very ridiculous

But I'm still breaking out of this mindset, that was so heavily put on me as a child. Is that weird?
I thought I dealt with my internalised homophobia but whenever I feel worried about getting into a relationship, and look deeply at it, I keep finding it's still there rooted deeply.
I had that struggle a lot in high-school. Except when I did the mental gymnastics of no matter which gender I am and which I wanted to be, it still wasn't right since I'm Bi. Thankfully since I left high school (some of the people I hung out with were surprisingly toxic) and have reconnected with a friend from freshman year, I've been able to accept it more. And really diving into pride month and wearing pride stuff last year has helped me as well.

Of course, I still have whispers that 'it's wrong' or 'I need to prove I'm Bi and not just claiming I am'

And heck, some of these labels still don't fit right, so it's still hard for me some days because I just.... don't know.
 
Back with news

So I might have posted about a gender crisis I was having- welp, it's gotten worse. Dysphoria is fun :/
I found out I was trans and I've started to tell a couple of people, first one of my friends- she's super supportive and I trust that she won't tell anyone. I've told my sister, and now all of the forum (with my new pfp).
I want to come out to everyone else but I'm gonna wait a bit so I can have a think about everything (like my name, pronouns, and how I'm gonna come out)
I've just been sitting alone in my room with cavetown and crippling dysphoria.
Overwhelming.

Also
https://www.backyardchickens.com/posts/26827009/
I have a chick!
Definitely wait until you're comfortable and have an idea of what you want as far as your identity.

I made lists when I was having the worser struggles. Of names I liked, the titles (Miss/Mrs, Mr, Mx) in front of them, and then just took a moment introducing myself with each to see which ones felt right. Of course, then I was really confused because it switched occasionally, it didn't remain solid with Mr. Jacin Larkwell like I had expected, because I wasn't really Trans, I was Fluid.

Not saying that you're not trans though, just that sometimes it can help a bit with reaffirming everything to have atbleast someone saying your preferred introduction aloud.

Love the profile Pic by the way
 
Definitely wait until you're comfortable and have an idea of what you want as far as your identity.

I made lists when I was having the worser struggles. Of names I liked, the titles (Miss/Mrs, Mr, Mx) in front of them, and then just took a moment introducing myself with each to see which ones felt right. Of course, then I was really confused because it switched occasionally, it didn't remain solid with Mr. Jacin Larkwell like I had expected, because I wasn't really Trans, I was Fluid.

Not saying that you're not trans though, just that sometimes it can help a bit with reaffirming everything to have atbleast someone saying your preferred introduction aloud.

Love the profile Pic by the way
I second this. I was kind of forced to come out before I was ready. It was not a fun experience and all my family members kept asking, “are you gay? Are you trans?” All while disapproving of me and my parents even when I didn’t even know yet.

As far as my experiences with dysphoria go, I found it gradually became less of an issue as I moved out of my teenage years and into being an adult.

The testosterone definitely helped a LOT, but I’ve had to go off of it for medical reasons. The dysphoria has not come back as badly as I expected it to. Occasionally I’ll have a moment here or there, but it really isn’t so bad.

I think for the first couple years when you are still figuring yourself out, being trans is a VERY big deal. You focus on it. Dysphoria feels very intense because you are thinking so much about being trans and all the feelings that surround it. Your peers seem to focus on it. At least for me, as I got older, and left high school, the dysphoria just became background noise to the rest of my life and eventually faded away into almost non-existence. By the time I was eighteen and about to start HRT, the testosterone was only there to affirm who I knew I was and, admittedly, make me feel more attractive, rather than to get rid of the dysphoria I felt as a younger teenager.

I hope that makes sense. It’s something I wish I could inject into the brains of every freshly trans teenager out there. I worry about a lot of the people I know who are still in high school and being trans is still their entire thing. It’s hard to see a way out of that brand of misery while you are still living it.
 
Hard to believe these things are only like 5 and a half weeks
20230513_084419.jpg
 

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