Debi, even though I haven't been through this with DH, my FIL had esophageal cancer. He and my MIL are also our neighbors. I saw a lot of the anger and frustration with my in-laws, between each other and with extended family. DFIL has beat the cancer so far, but in those days when we were fairly sure he wouldn't, we all went through the same physical and emotional issues. It does help to find people who share your experiences. They can help put perspective and even humor in situations where you never thought you could find it.
You and Ken remain in my thoughts and prayers. I second telling your kids what you need; DH's kids - while great! - need to be reminded (gently) when they need to make time for their grandparents, and even their dad. I'm sure they'll do what you need, hints don't always get the job done.
Heaing thoughts and prayers are with you both.
You and Ken remain in my thoughts and prayers. I second telling your kids what you need; DH's kids - while great! - need to be reminded (gently) when they need to make time for their grandparents, and even their dad. I'm sure they'll do what you need, hints don't always get the job done.

Heaing thoughts and prayers are with you both.