Life is changing for us, and it is not for a positive reason

[debilorrah]

So sorry, Debi, but that is exactly it. I was once that kid. They do pull away b/c it is too hard to face. When I was 17 and my dad was dying of Lung Cancer what did I do? Support my poor mom? And him? Noooo, I ran away from home- 3 times! The Police caught me after a few days and brought me back each time. I ran away b/c I could not face what was happening. I loved my dad. It is just so hard to lose your dad at that age. I drank myself into oblivion immediately following his funeral, and never went through the proper grieving process. It was wrong and it still haunts me today, I often have dreams about my dad, and what I would have said to him if I'd had the chance. Just to tell him I loved him. I hope your kids don't end up with the same regrets. Maybe it would help them to read my post.

That is what I am afraid of - that they will regret it. He has one daughter that has been treating me badly too. I want them to spend as much with Ken as possible for THEM, not so much for Ken. He and I are actually ok being alone together. He is just disappointed because he thinks he doesn't mean that much to them. Which is not true.

 

[Funky Feathers]

Awww, you got to have a heart to heart talk with them. They need to understand this. Please don't let them make the same mistake I did. It hurt me more than my dad. Y'all need to have a talk, "later" is not an option.

 

[sfw2]

So sorry, Debi, but that is exactly it. I was once that kid. They do pull away b/c it is too hard to face. When I was 17 and my dad was dying of Lung Cancer what did I do? Support my poor mom? And him? Noooo, I ran away from home- 3 times! The Police caught me after a few days and brought me back each time. I ran away b/c I could not face what was happening. I loved my dad. It is just so hard to lose your dad at that age. I drank myself into oblivion immediately following his funeral, and never went through the proper grieving process. It was wrong and it still haunts me today, I often have dreams about my dad, and what I would have said to him if I'd had the chance. Just to tell him I loved him. I hope your kids don't end up with the same regrets. Maybe it would help them to read my post.

What a wise post.

 

[chickflick]

So sorry for your struggles. Prayers being sent for your family!

 

[debilorrah]

This morning started out bad for Ken, he was once again angry that no one is there help us (kids, we have plenty of friends) and he attacked the yard and cleaned out the brooder because chicks are coming Wednesday. The neighbors chihuahua would not stay out of the yard and that made him mad. I finally told him I get two days off from work and I don't need him acting like a baby.

Then it was my turn. I had a meltdown, Ken told me I was having a hot flash. We don't have enough money to pay the bills. How ironic that we have enough money to go get chicks.

And yes I was having a hot flash, I just didn't know it at the time. Being the kind man he is, he just held me.

I learned something from today. When he is being the backside of a mule, I should just go hold him instead of telling him to stop acting like a baby.

Am I going to be a better person at the end of all this? Probably. That is the legacy he is going to leave me.

 

[EweSheep]

ONe day you will look back at all this and laugh about it. Men can be backside of a mule sometimes! Like me right now.

 

[Funky Feathers]

Sorry you both are having a hard time. But I think that is a good legacy. If only your kids could learn the same.

 

[Beekissed]

When God wants you to learn how to be strong, He allows you to have events in your life that let you develop your strength. When He wants you to learn to trust Him and to have faith, He allows you to be in a position to where you can learn it the best...not in good time do we learn to depend on and trust God, but in the bad. If everyone had perfect health, their money was always plentiful and there was no adversity in their lives they would never learn to trust and depend on God for their daily living.

When God wants you to learn to love, He doesn't surround you with only lovable people...He gives you people who are hard to love, so you can learn the lesson well.

It took me over 40 years to learn those things and I'm still learning things every day of that nature. I used to think God was punishing me by giving me such hard things in life to overcome but now I see more clearly and I thank Him every day for teaching me. Parents who love their children teach them things so that they can live better on their own and my heavenly Father loved me enough to do the same.

I'd say, Deb, that God really loves you and your family and are giving you the opportunity to learn necessary skills to help you serve Him better. It may not seem like it right now but I bet you will look back on this time and see the lessons learned.

 

[debilorrah]

When God wants you to learn how to be strong, He allows you to have events in your life that let you develop your strength. When He wants you to learn to trust Him and to have faith, He allows you to be in a position to where you can learn it the best...not in good time do we learn to depend on and trust God, but in the bad. If everyone had perfect health, their money was always plentiful and there was no adversity in their lives they would never learn to trust and depend on God for their daily living.

When God wants you to learn to love, He doesn't surround you with only lovable people...He gives you people who are hard to love, so you can learn the lesson well.

It took me over 40 years to learn those things and I'm still learning things every day of that nature. I used to think God was punishing me by giving me such hard things in life to overcome but now I see more clearly and I thank Him every day for teaching me. Parents who love their children teach them things so that they can live better on their own and my heavenly Father loved me enough to do the same.

I'd say, Deb, that God really loves you and your family and are giving you the opportunity to learn necessary skills to help you serve Him better. It may not seem like it right now but I bet you will look back on this time and see the lessons learned.

I know most people would tell you that you are full of it, but having walked my walk with God for 15 years, I know that is the truth. The diagnosis brought Ken back to church before a week was over. I do my best to remember to thank Him at the end of every day, but it is hard. If we had a good day, you are right, it is easier to forget God. I need to remember more to be extremely thankful for what I have. He has promised to see to our needs yet He has blessed us with much more that we ever deserve.

 

[Lothiriel]

How are things going the past couple days, Debi? I've been thinking of you guys a lot.