"Life with AD/HD" thread

[nikki1]

I have ADD and am not medicated as I've had it all my life and have learned to "function" (ha!). My daughter will be 12 next month and she has ADD combined type, sensory processing disorder, and Bipolar 1 with psychotic features. She also has several food allergies. We do not medicate her for the ADD (did do straterra for a while). She is doing well and life can be very interesting in my house!

Before we started our son on meds, I talked to our school psychologist about meds. He says the testing for strattera on AD/HD is virtually nonexistent. He told me that when people try it, one of 2 things happens--they either give up on meds altogether, or they switch to stimulant meds. (for which the scientific research is VERY well-documented.) It's done wonders for our boy.

Someone else mentioned that at 4:15 when DS comes home he is DONE. My boy is the same. His teacher does a nice job of keeping him active and hands-on, but it's still a lot for him to hold together, both academically and emotionally. Some of our rides home are interesting, to say the least. I feel bad for his sister who has to share the back seat with him! Thursday and Monday were so awful I very nearly stopped by the police station to have someone in uniform talk to him!

One of our big problems with finding friends and play dates for him, is that the parents really don't get why he doesn't behave like all the other kids. We only have one neighbor family where we live. They have a boy a year younger than ours who I could make a pretty good AD/HD case for as well. They generally did okay, and my husband and I would watch them closely when they played at our place. The neighbors, however, would just leave the boys in the yard unattended, and they got in some trouble...2-sided trouble, I might add! Their solution, rather than coming to talk to us and to set up some supervision rules together, was to get in my boy's face and tell him that since DS and their boy made bad choices together, that they could never play together again. That was in October, and we haven't said 2 words to each other since. It's so stupid, because both are great kids, but they just need close supervision. Now he's branded as "the weird neighbor kid" and he doesn't have a chance to disprove their judgement.

Thank you everyone for sharing your struggles and successes. It gives me some perspective.

--Nikki

 

[LSzajko]

LOL I've never threatened to stop at the police station...good one! I'll try anything for some PEACE lol
How old is your son?
If I may say so, your neighbors didn't handle that situation well. I feel bad for the boys. All they needed were a few ground rules and some supervision. Boys are boys! If there's trouble to be found, they'll find it. A few years ago (our son was about 5) my DH was working in the backyard and I was in the house cooking dinner. My son was playing on the patio. When I came outside to check on him, I actually couldn't speak. Zachary was pretending he "BBQ'd a steak" and was (literally) cutting it on the hood of our (brand new) car with a knife. We'd only had the car a couple of months. It cost us $600 to fix.

Boundless energy!

 

[superwoman]

My child has ADD as well. We adopted him a year and a half ago, he's almost 11 now. After a year of checklists, dietary changes, and consistent routine we finally decided on meds: concerta. He wasn't making friends and falling behind on school.

Now he's got 3 best friends and grown a whole grade level in reading comprehension in only 6 weeks.

We do lots of checklists. And gentle step by step reminders. We also have to be methodical and consistent in our daily routines. We also do talk therapy and lots of exercise. Turns out he's brilliant and doing so well in school he would get bored. His teachers caught on and use him as teachers helper sometimes now to keep him engaged in the present.

I don't know what we would've done without a huge support system. Our friends and family have been wonderful.

 

[LSzajko]

Sounds like he's doing very well superwoman! Having a good support system and encouragement from his teachers is the key to his success

I just love these little animated smileys. Just sayin' !

 

[nikki1]

LOL I've never threatened to stop at the police station...good one! I'll try anything for some PEACE lol
How old is your son?
If I may say so, your neighbors didn't handle that situation well. I feel bad for the boys. All they needed were a few ground rules and some supervision. Boys are boys! If there's trouble to be found, they'll find it. A few years ago (our son was about 5) my DH was working in the backyard and I was in the house cooking dinner. My son was playing on the patio. When I came outside to check on him, I actually couldn't speak. Zachary was pretending he "BBQ'd a steak" and was (literally) cutting it on the hood of our (brand new) car with a knife. We'd only had the car a couple of months. It cost us $600 to fix.

Boundless energy!

Yeah, we weren't pleased with how things went, but we can't really help what they choose to think.

Your car story reminds me of a story my friend tells of her little sister, Cynthia. When Cynthia was about 4, she learned to spell her whole first name, which is an accomplishment with a long name like that! She was proud of herself, so she picked up a rock and scratched her name HUGE along the whole length of her parents' brand new car!

DS has had a rough couple days at school. No pattern as to time of day, subject being covered, adult he was working with...he's gone from happy and pleasant to rude, angry, and defiant in the blink of an eye. All the people who work with him are well-educated as to what works with him, and do a great job. I think it's a combination of nice weather, impending state testing (legislators need to actually, like, meet children before they go and pass laws instituting 1 size fits all high-stakes testing. I say this as both a teacher and as a parent!), and following some really troubled kids in his class. After today's incident, he's spending tomorrow in "In School Suspension." (My suggestion, principal agreed...) I've asked the counselor to stop in and talk with him tomorrow...maybe she can help us get some insights on what's going on.

--Nikki

 

[LSzajko]

Yeah, we weren't pleased with how things went, but we can't really help what they choose to think.

Your car story reminds me of a story my friend tells of her little sister, Cynthia. When Cynthia was about 4, she learned to spell her whole first name, which is an accomplishment with a long name like that! She was proud of herself, so she picked up a rock and scratched her name HUGE along the whole length of her parents' brand new car!

DS has had a rough couple days at school. No pattern as to time of day, subject being covered, adult he was working with...he's gone from happy and pleasant to rude, angry, and defiant in the blink of an eye. All the people who work with him are well-educated as to what works with him, and do a great job. I think it's a combination of nice weather, impending state testing (legislators need to actually, like, meet children before they go and pass laws instituting 1 size fits all high-stakes testing. I say this as both a teacher and as a parent!), and following some really troubled kids in his class. After today's incident, he's spending tomorrow in "In School Suspension." (My suggestion, principal agreed...) I've asked the counselor to stop in and talk with him tomorrow...maybe she can help us get some insights on what's going on.

--Nikki




Ahhh another painful car story. I cringed when I read it!
The past couple of days have been pretty bad w/my DS too. In a word: OBNOXIOUS. He was wide awake at 3:30 this morning watching TV. He never did this before he started taking Focalin. It's helping him in school but he's hyperactive when it's wearing off. The only good thing is I haven't heard from his teacher (yet) so I'm thinking it's just a side-effect that we'll have to handle at home. We thought he'd want a nap after school but he did his homework (complained about it every second as usual), ate dinner, went to soccer practice, ate dinner again and begged to stay up later than his usual bedtime but I'm pretty sure he passed out the minute his head hit the pillow.

One-size fits all high stakes is a perfect way to describe these tests. I think the first week of May is when my son will be taking them.

Anyway, I hope your son's counselor gives you some insight into what's going on. TGIF, right....?!

 

[superwoman]

Our doctor suggested that we give my son 1-4 mg melatonin an hour before bed. She said kids with add tend to have a hard time quieting themselves down and staying asleep. Something about always moving and the brain constantly thinking.

 

[KKs Kandies]

Our adult son had/has it. In the mid-late 80's we noticed his troubles but the drugs and support system available now were unavailable then so life was beyond 'interesting' most days. Son is smart and quick as a whip but unbelieving/uneducated teachers and adminisrators were less than helpul and quite discouraging for DS. Now his daughter is struggling with some of the same issues. Thank goodness we've come so far and have more medications, etc. I'm praying there is a true, complete cure very soon. Best wishes to all here who are living with AD/HD.

 

[nikki1]

We decided that we had to make DS's in school suspension day as positive as possible. Last night, when he was sweet and sleepy right before bed, we reminded that we love him forever and ever, every day, no matter what, and that we love him too much to let him act the way he did. We talked about the consequences, but we reassured him that if he stepped up and had a happy, cooperative day, the consequences would be much less and much shorter. He really did things right! He did all his work cheerfully, and was cooperative and friendly all day. I was so proud of him I could hardly speak.

Yeah...testing...There's SO much pressure put on schools and teachers, that we're all going nuts. On the plus side, I think I'm doing the best teaching of my career right now. On the down side (where do I start?), there's so much pressure on kids, who may or may not be able to be successful. I know my boy is going to be working 1-on-1 with an adult in a quiet room, but what about the unidentified AD/HD kids? What about the drug baby? What about the kid who is pedaling as fast as he can, but just can't stay up with the state's arbitrary standards? (and our state has VERY high standards!) What about the kids living in family chaos who is barely holding it together, and for whom survival is taking precedence over school work? I have all these kids in my class. I bust my buns every day to bolster their confidence, cater instruction to each individual, and support them in every way I can, but on test day their fate, my fate, and my districts fate is all in their hands. It's completely crazy.

I now climb off my soap box. As state testing season is upon us, be kind to your kids and their teachers. It's rough on everybody.

--Nikki

 

[LSzajko]

Well put Nikki!
Both your kids and your classroom kids are very lucky to have you as their mom and their teacher!!