This board is such a great place to go to hang some problems out and get feedback from others. I would like to take advantage of the opportunity to get some input from people I admire and respect. I have been in my marriage for almost 13 years. It hasn't been all bad but.... I knew the day was coming when it would end. That day is here. I put myself through R.N school, graduated and been working in an ICU for just shy of a year, and the growth for me has been phenomenal. Now I need to cross my next hurdle/goal. There is no turning back to the marriage. I have accepted alcoholism for my husband, he just hasn't accepted it. For those of you who understand what it is like living with an alcoholic you understand my pain. We have the best 10 yr old son in the world. Kids just don't come any better than this one. I have not talked to him about his Dad and I splitting up. I have an appt with a counselor next week so I can approach this appropriately with him. I don't ever want to inflict the pain on my child of splitting with his father, but I think he should see that Mom will not tolerate abusive behaviour. For several years I have weighed the problems of staying married with the problems of divorcing. They each have their own problems, so I have weighed them seriously. I applied and have interviewed for an excellent job that would have me working a normal work week, no nights/weekends and holidays. The pay is more than I could have dreamed of. This is such a bittersweet time. Happy to be moving forward, relieved to have come to peace with myself and my decisions, so sad to cause my son any more pain. There are days ahead when I will fall apart, of this I am sure, so I may reach out and say... Help me. I have so loved the support I have seen given here time and again. And Hikerchick, if you see this, I have read so many of your posts and admired your ability to stand up and say, "This is not what I want, I'd rather do it myself" I'm here, with tears rolling down my cheeks saying "I'd rather do this myself" I know some people have happy marriages, I've seen them, I am happy for them, but sometimes the decision to end a marriage is the best for all involved. Ok, now that I have gone on ad-nausea, I'd also like to say, If I end up being the one to move out (as my husband has verbalized, I and our son will be moving out, not him) I will have several chickens to rehome. I will keep my son's silkies and serama's. But the big egg layers, RIR's BR"s, EE's, Aracaunas, SF are going to need new homes. Thanks chicken peeps for letting me, let this out. I am so intensely private, I never let anybody know what's been going on. Time to hide no more.