Hysterical Thread!!!!
Look what you people made me do!
- Thread starter Over Easy in Adna
- Start date
Quote:
There's got to be a twelve step program somewhere!!!
TWELVE STEP RECOVERY PRINCIPLES FOR
CHICKENADDICTION
STEP 1: We admitted we were powerless over our chicken addictions and our compulsion to
have more of them. As a result our schedules have become unmanageable.
STEP 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,
and his name is NOT Dear Husband or Dear Wife.
STEP 3: We made a decision to turn our life with poultry and will to have more of them over to
the care of God.
STEP 4: We made a searching inventory of precisely how many chickens we have at present
and how many square feet of coops and runs we currently own. (roll eyes here)
STEP 5: We admitted to God, ourselves, spouse and BYCrs the exact amount of our
overcommitment.
STEP 6: We are entirely ready to cull all the unnecessary chickens from the flock to make
room for upgrading our stock.
STEP 7: We humbly asked God to help us choose which ones to cull and which ones to keep.
STEP 8: We made a list of all the good breeders and helpful friends that have encouraged us
in our quest for breeding excellence.
STEP 9: We made a plan to reciprocate to each of these people for all the good things they
have done to help us happily overindulge in our chickaddiction. We also commit to
pay it forward to any new convert to chicken raising by being generous and helpful
where ever possible.
STEP 10: We continued to take a personal inventory of how much money and time we spend
with our feathered children, and vowed to give our spouses and children equal time.
STEP 11: We prayed that God would keep our families and flocks safe from predators
and disease, and for greater knowledge of His will for our happiness.
STEP 12: Having had a truly delightful experience in keeping chickens, we promise to carry
the message to others and work tirelessly to help others become as hopelessly
addicted to chickens as we are.
AMEN
There's got to be a twelve step program somewhere!!!
TWELVE STEP RECOVERY PRINCIPLES FOR
CHICKENADDICTION
STEP 1: We admitted we were powerless over our chicken addictions and our compulsion to
have more of them. As a result our schedules have become unmanageable.
STEP 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,
and his name is NOT Dear Husband or Dear Wife.
STEP 3: We made a decision to turn our life with poultry and will to have more of them over to
the care of God.
STEP 4: We made a searching inventory of precisely how many chickens we have at present
and how many square feet of coops and runs we currently own. (roll eyes here)
STEP 5: We admitted to God, ourselves, spouse and BYCrs the exact amount of our
overcommitment.
STEP 6: We are entirely ready to cull all the unnecessary chickens from the flock to make
room for upgrading our stock.
STEP 7: We humbly asked God to help us choose which ones to cull and which ones to keep.
STEP 8: We made a list of all the good breeders and helpful friends that have encouraged us
in our quest for breeding excellence.
STEP 9: We made a plan to reciprocate to each of these people for all the good things they
have done to help us happily overindulge in our chickaddiction. We also commit to
pay it forward to any new convert to chicken raising by being generous and helpful
where ever possible.
STEP 10: We continued to take a personal inventory of how much money and time we spend
with our feathered children, and vowed to give our spouses and children equal time.
STEP 11: We prayed that God would keep our families and flocks safe from predators
and disease, and for greater knowledge of His will for our happiness.
STEP 12: Having had a truly delightful experience in keeping chickens, we promise to carry
the message to others and work tirelessly to help others become as hopelessly
addicted to chickens as we are.
AMEN
Featherbaby, I LOVE your twelve steps. We'll have to have it made into a plaque to post in the chicken addiction "wing" of the Betty Ford clinic!
SallyF,
I sat down and wrote it the week after I got my first Silkie babies (about 7 months ago). I speak from personal experience. My only advantage is....no DH to stare disapprovingly and stomp out of the room! HA!
I've decided that we have no choice in having an addictive personality. But we do get to choose WHAT to become addicted to.
I choose SILKIES!!!!!
WHY CHICKEN-ADDICTION IS BETTER THAN ALCOHOLISM:
1. You don't have to go to meetings
2. You never wake up with a hangover
3. If you wake up next to a chick in bed the next morning, you can bet it's one of yours.
4. Regular purchases of chicken feed and wood shavings won't bankrupt you.
5. Your spouse won't leave you because you had just ONE MORE CHICK.... (well, the good ones won't)
6. Your children will learn about sex without you having to have "the talk" with them.
7.It's extremely unlikely you'll drive erratically and hit someone head on while traveling to a chicken swap.
(and almost IMPOSSIBLE you'll do that on the way home with your precious new chickens on the seat).
8. You won't stagger into the house just before dawn and crawl into bed. You will, however crawl out of bed
just before dawn and stagger out to the chicken coop with fresh food and empty egg basket every morning.
9. You'll eat better, and have a higher class of friends.
10. You won't sing maudlin country songs off key at the local bar. You will, however have the urge to talk baby-talk
to all the chickens while watching them eat treats out of your hand.
11. Everyone will welcome your visit when you arrive carrying a dozen fresh eggs
12. The only thing you'll be tempted to shoot is a low-down, sneaky, chicken-thieving, varmit that totally deserves it!
I sat down and wrote it the week after I got my first Silkie babies (about 7 months ago). I speak from personal experience. My only advantage is....no DH to stare disapprovingly and stomp out of the room! HA!
I've decided that we have no choice in having an addictive personality. But we do get to choose WHAT to become addicted to.
I choose SILKIES!!!!!
WHY CHICKEN-ADDICTION IS BETTER THAN ALCOHOLISM:
1. You don't have to go to meetings
2. You never wake up with a hangover
3. If you wake up next to a chick in bed the next morning, you can bet it's one of yours.
4. Regular purchases of chicken feed and wood shavings won't bankrupt you.
5. Your spouse won't leave you because you had just ONE MORE CHICK.... (well, the good ones won't)
6. Your children will learn about sex without you having to have "the talk" with them.
7.It's extremely unlikely you'll drive erratically and hit someone head on while traveling to a chicken swap.
(and almost IMPOSSIBLE you'll do that on the way home with your precious new chickens on the seat).
8. You won't stagger into the house just before dawn and crawl into bed. You will, however crawl out of bed
just before dawn and stagger out to the chicken coop with fresh food and empty egg basket every morning.
9. You'll eat better, and have a higher class of friends.
10. You won't sing maudlin country songs off key at the local bar. You will, however have the urge to talk baby-talk
to all the chickens while watching them eat treats out of your hand.
11. Everyone will welcome your visit when you arrive carrying a dozen fresh eggs
12. The only thing you'll be tempted to shoot is a low-down, sneaky, chicken-thieving, varmit that totally deserves it!
The Chicken addiction 12 Steps are so funny
I never heard of any other 12-Step program that commits to thoughtful KILLING as a requirement for recovery
but if you don't cull a few, then you will be over run with chickens or eggs
Thanks for sharing, those Steps are awesome!
For the record, my daughter and wife are to blame for my chicken obsession. They brought them home on Mother's Day, as I would have never bought my first chick
They were the chicken dealers and now I am caught in the spiral.
Wish me luck,
Hugh
I never heard of any other 12-Step program that commits to thoughtful KILLING as a requirement for recovery
Thanks for sharing, those Steps are awesome!
For the record, my daughter and wife are to blame for my chicken obsession. They brought them home on Mother's Day, as I would have never bought my first chick
Wish me luck,
Hugh
Quote:
Well, just go right ahead. When we all get through with him/her they will have the incurable disease also..LOL.
Well, just go right ahead. When we all get through with him/her they will have the incurable disease also..LOL.
And chickens have ETHNICITY too. We had to get Welsummers cause they were Dutch, like we are, same reason we are getting Jaerhons this spring (to get the Norwegian in there...)
And it is a shame to let our American Livestock Heritage decline so we are trying Buckeyes and Delawares...Maybe we should try Gold-Laced Wyandottes, since they originated in Wisconsin...
And pretty colored eggs! We must have a few Ameraucanas...
And the boys decided they wanted Speckled Sussex, cause they like the name and they are English so they can give them Monty Python names (strangest reason for picking a breed of chickens I have ever heard) But that Arthur is a real peach of a English Gentleman Rooster.
Now they are looking at Dorkings (because we're Dorks too Mom!)
I will have to find somewhere to sell the surplus hens. Roosters we can eat, but I hate to cull a working girl.
And it is a shame to let our American Livestock Heritage decline so we are trying Buckeyes and Delawares...Maybe we should try Gold-Laced Wyandottes, since they originated in Wisconsin...
And pretty colored eggs! We must have a few Ameraucanas...
And the boys decided they wanted Speckled Sussex, cause they like the name and they are English so they can give them Monty Python names (strangest reason for picking a breed of chickens I have ever heard) But that Arthur is a real peach of a English Gentleman Rooster.
Now they are looking at Dorkings (because we're Dorks too Mom!)
I will have to find somewhere to sell the surplus hens. Roosters we can eat, but I hate to cull a working girl.
I guess you'll have to ship some to me since I made you do it!
CAL
You know, I never, NEVER, thought having chickens would turn into what it has become. My husband was not too into the idea, but he went along with me. I jumped in haphazardly, just ordered 25 assortment. We figured chickens would be nice to have considering the economy. We thought, "yeah we'll have a supply of meat and eggs to eat should anything bad happen." Yeah, well.... After weeding out sending some to freezer land and selling a few. Lost a few to a stupid puppy that was getting in the chicken yard (we took care of that though) we decided to replenish our flock since we only had 4 left. Now we have 51 chickens 7 ducks and 2 geese. Some people get addicted to alcohol. Some get addicted to drugs. Some people even get addicted to *cough cough wink wink*. But some people, very special people, get addicted to chickens! You say, "wow my birdies are so pretty! And this breed and that breed would make great babies with the one's I have. What would it hurt just to get a few more of the other breeds I want." So you get them. Then you find another breed you really want. Then another, then another, then another. It's endless! As I said in another post, "It's a drug really. It cost money, gets in your blood, and you can't stop without going into rehab!" But really who would WANT to recover from a chicken obsession? My husband who like I said wasn't to keen on the idea is obsessed. There are no words to describe the true level of how you really do get addicted! I have been amazed! Really I have been. And it sneaks up on you too. We have spent a lot of money on chick pens chicken houses and fencing the chicken yard. Then we expanded it! Our chicken's have close to an acre to roam in. It gets a hold of you and you can't get out, you don't want to get out! But as addictions go, this has to be one of the best to have. At least they can earn their keep without trying. Laying eggs, providing meat, and just being so darn cute and entertaining! The 12 steps and the 12 reason chickens are a good addiction hit the nail on the head. Even my DH talks baby talk to the chickens. Love this thread!
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