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Not sure what you are laughing at, chocolate IS toxic to dogs. Theobromine, look it up. Two mini snickers won't do it, but two hunks of bakers chocolate the same size can kill a ten pound dog. The darker it is, the worse for them. Sensitivity does vary somewhat upon the dog as well.
Sometimes they will just get sick, not die. Just ask my pet sitting client whose jack russell found a 2 lb bag of chocolate chips - luckily they were milk not dark. That dog barfed and had diarreah all over, and I mean ALL over, her white carpet and brand new down comforter. That may have saved her though, since she didnt end up absorbing as much toxin.
As for the grapes and raisins, again there is variation per dog as to how much they can handle. But, they are finding there may be a cumulative effect for those, so while chocolate will get out of their systems, these wont.
Better safe than sorry.