Marriage - How did you know he/she was the one?

[katiek]

Thanks everyone for the great stories and advice!

I don't want to stifle the conversation, but let's try to stay focused on the topic of "how did you know"?

I appreciate peoples' opinions on religion, but it's too touchy of a subject to state whether you believe divorce is appropriate or not.

Let's not judge people on this issue, because, you never know until you are in the situation. AND regardless of your religious beliefs, I'm sure we can all agree it's not right to judge each other.

So....in the interest of not having this topic closed down due to arguments, let's stay away from that debate please.

Soooooooo, back to the subject: How did you meet your husband/wife? How did you know that he/she was the "one"? Any advice for couples thinking about marriage?

Let's keep up the fun stories!!!

 

[Eliza]

Met DH when I asked a co-worker if they knew a good person to fix my truck. I went to the shop, he fixed the truck, and I walked out and told my sister I don't know when and I don't know how but I'm gonna marry that man. That was in 1994, and I met up with him again (boy can he fix a truck!) in 1997. Funny thing, he would get "uncomfortable" and break up and then come back - so on and off for some time, then in 2006 he proposed - so technically been together for a lot longer then been married (1 year 9 months). HA. how did I know? I think you're getting the same frustrating message - YOU JUST KNOW. It felt right - it was just like OH, HERE YOU ARE! Someone said "it was easy", and it is. If you have to WORK too hard, than it is more than likely not right.

Advise: talk about everything important - family values, kids (if you're planning on it.) kids complicate difficult relationships - they're a reason not the solution! What are your partner's opposite sex parents role. These expectations tend to follow us into our relationships.

AND I think the best thing I learned is that I could and am happy to be my own company. You know? I want you, I don't Need you.

 

[sugarbush]

I don't believe in the "one"... I have known too many people who were happily married, the spouce died and they remarried again happily.

I think it is what you make of it. you have to know and trust the person and it is always a good idea to live together first. That is the only way you will know if you can actually live with this person.

 

[LilEmilysChknPen]

Lets see here....well, I married the first time 2 months before i graduated highschool...I was literally the only married student in my highschool! WEIRD. He was 16 yrs old, I was 18. We were married for 6 yrs. Had our daughter Megan 4 yrs in. Needless to say...He wasn't the one at all! I met my second husband 5 yrs ago....ONLINE...to say the least. He lived 2 hours away from me. Then moved 1000 miles away back home(He had just gotten out of the navy). We stayed in touch, and he started coming to visit me every 6 weeks, After a year and half of doing this, he left his life in his hometown where he grew up to come be with me. I knew he was the one for me when he showed me he loved my daughter Megan as much as I did. And that was always a huge factor for me. If you can't love my child as much as I do...then I dont need you! Well! Here we are, almost 5 yrs later, and we just had our daughter Emily on Dec 7, 2008. and We were married Feb 6 of this year!

 

[Guitartists]

I knew because we are each others BEST friend.... I can't imagine doing anything in life without him or having him here. Sure... we fight... but we always make up and we always strive for a better relationship. It's difficult being in a mixed family and I knew he loved me when he went from being a single bachelor that loved to play sports and play in band and NOT have kids or get tied down... to..... a man with 3 step kids and no more fun time because he needed a full time job to help support us! (He does play with a band now one or twice a week

) Oh.... and I KNOW he loves me because he always (when he was young and stupid LOL) wanted a girlfriend that would take care of him... buy him whatever he wanted, etc. Someone that allowed him to NOT work and just play sports and music all day..... and then he got with ME! 3 kids, a nasty divorce, (past) emotional issues.... he could have stuck with his wants as his number one priority.... but he wants to be with me over all else! And he is now a VERY hard workin man!

We were friends in school.... it just took us a while to get HERE. When we fight and I feel distanced from him... I have nightmares that I am in another country and no matter how hard I try... I cannot reach him. Phones don't work... I can't remember numbers, etc. We always try to say "I love you" even if we are mad... because you never know what could happen.... and we always make it through. He finishes my sentences and I his... and we know each other better than ANYBODY... including friends and family! I imagine growing old with him... I KNOW I will grow old with him. He doesn't care if I have let my legs grow out shaggy and I don't care if he has just finished playing basketball (sweaty man!) LOL

He loves me for me.... I love him for him.... we accept that we are NOT perfect... but we try to help each other to be BETTER

We each came with our share of baggage..... but we're getting closer to only 1 carry on!

Bottom line though..... without him I would have no best friend.

 

[Sock Puppet]

Quote:
After I met him (the one) it felt right. I just knew he was the right one for me. Didnt have to live together first to see if it would work.
I dont think living together first is necessary. I met my husband and 4 months later we were married. Been married 16 years.

 

[BoJo]

I saw his but crack......

He was a big bully at school and he was working on my car...he bent over and I saw his plumber scene!! When I told him he blushed.....

Next thing I knew...I couldn't live without him....that was in 1995.....14 years and 4 kids later.....I still can't live without him!!

BoJo

 

[Chicken Lil]

I'm not really sure I knew when he was the right one, but my DH says he knew as soon as he had my rhubarb pie!

Guess he could never find rhubarb pie like his granny made, so when I told him I make a wicked good rhubarb pie he laughed and challenged me. As soon as he took his first bite his eyes lit up, and he said he had to spend the rest of his life with me! We've been together ever since.

I guess the way to mans heart is through his stomache.

 

[Sock Puppet]

Quote:
hee hee, depends on the man I think (LOL)

My husbands love language is Service. So if I make sure the laundry is done, folded, put away, house clean, dishes done, he's happy.

He's the one that likes to cook, so that is his job (LOL)

 

[sugarbush]

I also do the cooking, and keep the kitchen clean and the bathroom clean...she gets the laundry.