Married BYCers

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Unless you two didn't graduate from high school until you were 25, according to my math (18 + 7.5 = 25.5) means you and Sam are still practically babies... and about to have your 4th, 5th & 6th babies... ALL AT ONCE!
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WOW, I cyber bow to you both, you two are a special couple.
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Wow, I could never do that even now- I guess you can do anything if you want it bad enough congrates
 
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That is something that allot of couples forget!!

Here is my 2 cents-

It doesn't matter if you do everything right- have a long engagment- finish school and have a good career- have a home of your own- and establish your life first- establish the marriage second- then work on the kids after you are done growing up- there will still be problems and you just need to know when to pick a fight and when to just let it go.

The best advise i can think of is grow up and have fun first if they love you they will still be there when your ready to get married!
 
i've been married twice with total different types of marriages let me see what i can think of....

i learned from my first one, people lie and the trueth comes out once u marry someone how they really are. LIVE with someone fist for a year before u decide to get married to know who u r truely ending up with.

if there is any signs of abuse get out NOW RUN!! u can love someone but if they don't love u it will never work. once an abuser and addict the cycle will never break unless u break it and leave and don't put up with it. u don't have to put up with that and neither do ur children. don't ever let anyone abuse u the more they get away with it the worse it gets, there is help out there keep urself safe and ur kids safe and leave if that's what it takes. don't ever go back it will be the same only worse.

keep children out of the middle at all costs even if it ends in divorce. be there for ur children nomatter what, they r who really suffer in a marriage. wait to get married there is no reason to rush and a child is not a reason to stay together if it can't work. don't have kids till u r both ready to settle down a child with someone is forever. i was married for 3 year of heck and in actual time mabe 9mths of that we were actually together. had i known the signs and the red flags i'd of saved myself and my son years of heartaches, abuse, tons of money and alot more. i chose mine and my sons life and freedom and i took him and left i have never regretted it only wished i'd of left sooner and not got married that time but it made me a stonger person and taught me who i really am it was a hard leason to learn.

marriage #2

got divorced and 6 mths later i married my junior high sweetheart mike in july of 99. this year it will be 10 years for us and we have 4 kid's together. mike and his family love my son and treat him as their own as i do my step kids and that is really important to make all the kids one together family they need stability.

we had some arguements the first 2 years together due to friends and inlaws but we worked past it. marriage is a 50/50 thing we both share the load for everything. being married to mike is 150% total opossite of my first marriage and i couldn't be happier. we never fight now, rarely get mad at each other, we share same hobbies and intrests for the most part and we r always together. my only complaint is with so many kid's not enough alone time to just sit and talk and watch movies ect. i don't regret anything with mike except we should have waited longer to have kids to beable to have more us time, we usually have 4-6 kids always with us,lol. he is my soulmate and bestfriend. we still have up and down days but we work through it together as a team. he is my everything the best thing i ever did was get married to him and i'd never change that for the world when u find true love it's forever and worth every bit of what it took to find it and then some.
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I married my soul mate, we had known each other since grade school. We had the perfect relationship that everyone envied. Our secret is that we shared the same dreams, activities and humor. I tell people that you are not always happy but in a good relationship you are happy and content 97% of the time. We have wonderful memories and had a wonderful though very short life together and I am very thankful for that. ...3 1/2 years later... I thought I would never love again but seems that my heart is now open to the idea and I have a wonderful SO that will probably be my partner, same thing in the sence that we share the same dreams and goals in life although no one could replace AJ.
 
From a father/husband...in no particular order...

1. It's not about you. You should always come last after the wife and kids.

2. If she's not good enough to be your best friend, she's not good enough to be your wife.

3. When you have kids, think back to when you were a teen, and remember the troubles you and/or your friends had with their parents. Don't be one of those parents...do it right!

4. Have lots of chickens, and enjoy them together. :-)

5. Definitely have kids. Adopt or have them...the other way, but definitely have kids...unless you hate kids, then DON'T have kids.

6. DON'T LET "MODERN" SOCIETY'S NORMS TRICK YOUR BETTER JUDGEMENT OF WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S WRONG. This goes for your relationship with your spouse AND the way you raise your kids.

7. If you're a father/husband, your #1 job is to protect. If you're a wife/mother, your #1 job is to nurture.

8. Don't move too far away from your family...unless they're psychotic. Then move very, very far away.

9. Get to know your neighbors...unless they're psychotic. Then stay very, very far away.

10. Nurture the individuals within each of you as well as the couple you've become. Give each other enough space, or "territory" so that you can keep your own identity. For instance, I give my wife 100% reign over the inside of the house. She gives me 100% reign over the outside. I can plant whatever I want in the yard, and she can put up whatever kinds of curtains she wants. Everyone's happy.

11. Don't stop dating...each other that is. After you've been married for 20 years, you should still go out on dates--that means without kids.

12. Remember in 20 years how you laughed together when you were engaged.

13. Be flexible. Change is inevitable, and both people in a marriage will change over the years. Stay close, and the changes will parallel. Drift, and the changes will pull you apart.

14. Did I mention get lots of chickens?
 
Divorce is not an option! You better mean those vows too! My poor DH didn't know what he was getting into with the "in sickness and in health" part with me. In the 10 years we've been married, I've had brain surgery, 2 surgeries to remove dead and broken bones from my foot, and at least 6 hospitalizations for brain related "stuff". Thank God we truly love each other! Marriage takes work. There are going to be good times and bad times. You can't just love each other, you have to be friends too. MONEY ruins more marriages. I have a dear friend who is going through a nasty divorce after 19 1/2 years all because of money. Talk about it, work on bills and such together. Don't let one person control all the decisions about money. Of course, in our case, if you don't have it, you can't fight over it. I love my husband so very much. Even after 10 years, I miss him when he's at work. One last bit... if you can wait a little to have kids, DO. I wish we'd had more time together before kids. Good luck!
 
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can someone tell this to my husband.. I am ready to just scream because of this..
 
A few people have commented that you shouldn't expect to be "in love" forever. I disagree. Everywhere we go, my dh and I get asked when we are getting married, or if we are newlyweds. I think it's all in the attitude. We still hold hands, flirt with each other, tease each other, act goofy, etc. We are still in love. I think if people spent more time enjoying each other and less time being mad about who left the toilet seat up, there would be a lot lower divorce rate.

Do we have problems? Of course, but are we happy 99.9% of the time? Absolutely.

We've been married 3 and a half years. We have been together a total of 6 years.
 
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I agree, we do not use this term because it is not an option.

HONESTY HONESTY HONESTY!

Oh, always be nice to one another it really does make a difference.

Acknowledge, Accept, Appreciate!

Always remember the little things that made us fall in love!
 
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