Mentally Ill Cousin on FB...

[redhen]

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Yep.. my thoughts also...
Laura.. she has more control over behaviors than you think.... dont let her be disrespectful to you.

 

[Boyd]

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I have this friend.. and we've been friends for ohhhhhhhhh 5 years or so? Anyways, despite he's on the opposite of the fence politically from me, he wouldn't quit posting stuff on my wall or posts that just made me steam.. Basically unfriended him (he apologized and I put him back a week later after ignoring my cell phone) and then got on my case cuz he saw my car in the driveway cuz I got out of work early (half day vacation).. I had enough, told him to take a flying you know what at a rolling donut.. unfriended him and ignored cell for a bit now.. And I like this dude lol

 

[zippitydooda]

Simply set your FB security level to block her from posting on your wall. She can read only what you allow her to, and can't reply to anything. Go to settings and check it out. I did that to everyone I work with, because my personal life is MY personal life.

Good luck (and you are a very kind, caring person for not ignoring her or being mean & hateful).

 

[Amyable]

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This might be the best of both worlds. Try and see if this will work; if not, unfriending is still an option.

 

[naakte]

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That is a great idea

 

[cassie]

If she has a personality disorder, you are not going to hurt her feelings by unfriending her. You may make her mad, but you won't hurt her feeings. I would bet she lacks empathy and to her, other people are just there to be used. Distance yourself for your own protection. There is no cure for personality disorders and you can't help her.

 

[redhen]

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Agree 100%..

 

[Laurajean]

I know some of you are saying she has more control then I think, but I'm not so sure. She's VERY messed up. She's been institutionalized many times, her kids were taking away, yet she keeps having more impulsively only to have them taken also, multiple suicide attempts, cutting, etc. Even as kids I remember she wasn't "right". She would always blurt things out, and when you look at her and call her on it, she just looks blank, like she doesn't get what she did wrong. Doesn't seem like playing dumb, seems like a genuine lack of comprehension. I don't compare her with your average "jerk" who's just being rude. She seems to have the maturity level and general mentality of a child.

To give you an idea, I pulled these symptoms from an article on Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms:

Make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Have a pattern of difficult relationships caused by alternating between extremes of intense admiration and hatred of others.
Have an unstable self-image or be unsure of his or her own identity.
Act impulsively in ways that are self-damaging, such as extravagant spending, frequent and unprotected sex with many partners, substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.
Have recurring suicidal thoughts, make repeated suicide attempts, or cause self-injury through mutilation, such as cutting or burning himself or herself.
Have frequent emotional overreactions or intense mood swings, including feeling depressed, irritable, or anxious. These mood swings usually only last a few hours at a time. In rare cases, they may last a day or two.
Have long-term feelings of emptiness.
Have inappropriate, fierce anger or problems controlling anger. The person may often display temper tantrums or get into physical fights.
Have temporary episodes of feeling suspicious of others without reason (paranoia) or losing a sense of reality.

She has ALL of these symptoms to an extreme degree. So you can see there's a lot of paranoia and outright delusion.

In any case, I will look into the FB settings as suggested. I just hate to be unfriend her, she only has a couple of friends and lives a very isolated, sad life and that is not her fault.

 

[Pairie Faring]

I have been working in mental health for years. First of all let me say that mental illness is so hard to deal with and I commend your efforts not to alienate your cousin.

That being said I need to tell you that people with Borderline Personality Disorder thrive on a chaotic relationships. They feel the compulsion to "triangulate" conflicts within their inner circle. They themselves cannot handle their own emotions of pain, hurt, hate or anxiety and so they create situations where they can project their feelings onto other people. In a nut shell, it makes them feel better to do so.

That being said, she will not stop doing these things to you. Ever. The only thing you can do is remove yourself from your situation and hope she will someday seek therapy and even then it will take years to see an improvement. Personality disorders are very difficult to treat. There is no pill for a personality disorder.

These guys and gals have come up with a lot of options for you. Most of which are at least a better solution than what you have going on now.

My vote is block her posts.

The next time you see her at a family thing don't bring it up. If she does, tell her the truth. She will probably throw a fit. She will try to get you in her good graces again. Don't fall for it. It's a trap.

You don't deserve to be treated this way .

She cannot control herself . She has no boundaries . She is a master manipulator. These are all symptoms of her illness.

I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this.

I hope things get better for you.

 

[redhen]

Of course, its your choice what you will allow in your life! You have to do what makes you feel right inside...

I work and LIVE with these types of people though.. so i have a bit of a different opinion.
What you allow her to do to you... she will do. Its totally up to you what you allow her to do to you....
Just follow your heart, but use common sense also. Theres a line they WILL cross at some point, that will affect you... (thats why others that love her have had to push her away.. )
Its totally up to you where that line is drawn...