Missing my mom

[65browneyes]

I lost my mother in law in February to lung cancer. Her initial diagnosis was in January 2003. She was the happiest, most easy going lady I've ever known. I loved her and my late father in law as if they were my own parents.

I was with each of them as they drew their last breaths. And, I can tell you we saw the beauty in death each time.

I am not an overly religious person, either, but I do firmly beleive in a higher power; in God. And, I beleive He shows us His graces and His gentleness in ways most folks don't recognize. You had the last year with your mom so you could share the last moments and memories with her. She left this world knowing your love and feeling your warmth. How fortunate for her and for you.

We did a video/slideshow, too. Set to music we felt befitting of her, of her heart and soul. Much like you did. My Ann, and your mom had their hands in that. She's gone from our sight (as written on the handout from our hospice), but she'll never truly be gone. She lives on. They'll always be with us.

And, I miss her every day. Dialed her number over the weekend to tell her something. Just have to smile. That was her, telling me she's here.

Bottom line, you are too raw right now. But, one of these days you will suddenly not hurt quite so much.

 

[jerseygirl1]

I am so, so sorry for your loss

I lost my mom four years ago to lung cancer

I still cry every day

I think that we all get thru it, but we never fully get over it

 

[Whispering Winds]

Lost my mom in 1990. Not a day goes by that something doesn't make me think of her or wish she was here. I always appreciated her, but never told her that I loved her, we just werent't that type of family. She was such a funny little duck; she would pick up sticks in the yard when she went out to get the mail, and then for some reason or other she would need a stick, and couldn't find one because she HAD to pick up every stick she saw. . . funny how that comes back to you. My oldest sister, 81, is in the hospital tonight because a varicose vein on her leg ruptured and she lost over a pint of blood. . .and she was talking about the stick story today . . .I had forgotten all about that "mom story".

I am glad you were able to make peace. The hurt and loss will get better, but I warn you. . .having your own babies, or any other happy or sad moment in your life brings them back to you in a heartbeat. Daddies too.

 

[SunshineSilkies]

Think of the good times that were spent with her. I lost my dad in June and sometimes I will just start to cry for no reason. I guess it is my body's way of letting me grieve. Cry when you have to, and be thankful she is not suffering anymore....

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

One of the hardest things about losing a parent that you had a difficult road with, is the finality of the fact that they are gone now, and now there is no further chance that they can be that parent you wished for all those years.

It sounds like she had a really hard life and you got dragged through lots of mud with her. I am glad for you both that this was not where you left it. But, sometimes I think we all grieve like children for our parents no matter how old we are when we lose them. I was 26 when my father died and 30 when my mother died very suddenly. She has been gone for 16 years now and I still miss her.

Grief is not an event it is a process. Let yourself grieve for her. Let yourself grieve for the mom you wanted her to be.......

 

[Chickenaddict]

I wish I could say I was getting better but things seem to take a turn for the worst at times like this. The man I call Dh has ended our 16 year relationship partially because of my emotional situation. I now have to sell all my birds and find a new place in which I can't afford due to my business crashing because of the economy. I am in a real pickle now. The loss of my mom has been extremely difficult to handle and now this on top if it all feels like wayyy tooo much to bare. I am lost, confused and extremely hurt by all of this to the point where I don't know if I can deal with it. I have an appointment with a grief counselor on tuesday, hopefully they will have other resources available for me. I haven't slept in days and am lucky to get a few bites of food in me everyday. I am sooo sick

and tired

I just can't believe any of it

 

[wegotchickens]

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband has delivered such a low blow at a vulnerable time.

Sending hugs and prayers your way!

 

[3goodeggs]

I can not believe he did that. I am so sorry for everything. I'll put you on the list.

and prayers.

 

[theoldchick]

So sorry for your loss. One thing I learned about life is that it hurts. Down deep. Just gotta get up and keep going.