Mom's favorite sayings

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my mom always said S#it on a shingle, lol

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I always asked mine when they were sick if they wanted an a**brin and they would say yes, and I would say OK, bend over. They were laughing about that at Xmas.

Mom always said "if God intended man to fly, frogs would not be bumping their butts on the ground." Never quite understood how the frog got into it, but there it was.


Lazy as sin, uglier than homemade sin, meaner than a one-eyed snake, pretty is as pretty does, catch more flies with sugar than vinegar,
what is good for the goose is good for the gander are a lot of the one-liners I heard almost every day growing up.
 
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I heard this one as "a whistlin' woman and a crowin' hen always come to a no good end"...
 
Thought of another "to the moon and back again"... as in I love you to... it's the one saying of hers that I use... and actually DS expanded it... I say moon he says stars...
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Some of mine:
When kids in trouble say "I'm Sorry"... "If you're sorry then you won't do it again!"
..."Nervous/skittish/Jumpy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" is one I love but don't have much cause to use.
Elegance Lies In Simplicity (a Piney original)
Exclamation minus the explicative... "Son of a Biscuit Eater!" or "Mother Hubbard!" that's earned me some looks lemme tell you.
Though not near so many looks as "What in the nine hells?!?!?!"
SIENTATE Y CALLATE (sit down and shut up) or just sientate...
Abren/Cierren la puerta (open/close the door) said when carrying groceries, etc.


That reminds me Mom used to pull that Were You Born in a Barn thing when talking about doors.

Hmm... have to chew on this some more....
 
When asked "What's for Dinner?" my MIL would always say " Stewed bugs and Onions"
 
When the fair would come around my mom would say "that's the devil's playground"
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now when I go, I only go to see the farm animals ::Sigh::
 
Forgot to add
"Because I said so". I swore I would never use that. I don't really, but do have my own variation of it.

Since we are also adding some of the ones we say:
(keep in mind, calling me sarcastic would be an understatement)

"I'm going to hang you in the forest by your toenails and let the animals have you" (we are surrounded by forest)
"If Mom's not happy, nobody's happy"
"Because I'm Mom, and moms know everything, that's why"
"Don't make me use my "MOM'' voice"

Yet, the most effective is not in words at all, it's "the look". Even scares my husband sometimes.
 
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Food.

That's what I tell mine. Sometimes I'll put on the smarty pants and say "Food. It's what's for dinner." Rather like the old Beef ads.

Similar for "What time is it"... Daytime or Nighttime.

Which reminds me, I call food what it is. Chicken is called chicken. Fish called fish. Pig called pig. Cow called cow.
Aggravates the crap out of my MIL for some reason, but I think it's just honest.

Not at all like my mom serving up beef liver and calling it steak. Didn't work on us, but Bro's friend fell for it and asked seconds.
That was a hard dinner to keep a straight face through.
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Note: I personally think an overcooked steak tastes like liver, isn't that odd?
 
One I tell my son just about everyday is, "Math won't ever go away, and life is a word problem, get used to it."

I thought that after school, one day, it would just get done and be over with forever. Bummed me out when I realized otherwise.
 

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