My chickens are driving me mad!!!!!!!!!!! Help me before I go insane!!

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OK, I think I understand what your trying to say... I do have to roosts for them, one is a low roost and the other roost is a higher up, I don't know how they make such a big mess since they do it when I'm not watching. But they still do try to roost on top of their feeders and waterers, my flock is a flock that absolutely LOVES to jump... If you didn't know a chicken from a dog you would mistake my chickens for a Jack Russell Terrier!
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I would do that but I live in the upper portion of New Hampshire so the average day right now is about eh, 60 degrees F. out right now... my chickens HATE wind and the loud farming trucks and tractors that go by on our street.
 
You could put them out with a heat lamp if you have a long enough extension cord. I screw the feeder to a 2x4 or two. Glue a plastic funnel upside down on top of the feeder and waterer to prevent their standing on top of it.
 
This is kinda hard to explain, but I tiptied a piece of carbboard to the front and put a cup water and feed on it. Works really nice to and keeps the shavings in.
 
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OK, I think I understand what your trying to say... I do have to roosts for them, one is a low roost and the other roost is a higher up, I don't know how they make such a big mess since they do it when I'm not watching. But they still do try to roost on top of their feeders and waterers, my flock is a flock that absolutely LOVES to jump... If you didn't know a chicken from a dog you would mistake my chickens for a Jack Russell Terrier!
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If that is what they are doing(roosting on water/feed), you can tack a normal funnel and turn it upside doen and tape it to the to of the feeder/water. Mine were doin the same thing and that was how I stopped them.
 
Ok, here's what I ended up doing.... for the feeder, I took a USPS box and put a few plastic sandwich bags full of dirt in the box and sealed it shut. Then I taped the feeder to the box and then I made a cane shaped thing out of cardboard and taped that to the top of the feeder. I did the same thing for the waterer as I did the feeder but instead of the box I used one of those plastic Domino Sugar tubs and filled that with bags of dirt and put the cover on.

My rigs will definally NOT win ANY awards for best feeder/waterer design but it seems to be working thus far. *crosses fingers*
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Hee hee... My flock was messing their water up badly at that age. I was using the pelletized sawdust bedding, and they suddenly started scratching in it and kicking it all over the place. I ended up finding a large plastic lid from a tote container and placing the waterer on the inverted lid. That way at least the trough of the waterer was not FULL of wet sawdust after leaving them alone for just an hour!

But now that they are outside they so most of their scratching out of range of the waterers. Boy, was I happy to have them out there!
 

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