my dad had thanksgiving dinner at his house guess what?

[cassie]

Not all parents love their children. That is just the way it is. Trying to build a relationship with such people is an exercise in futility. It will just make you feel bad and it won't change a thing. The most constructive thing you can do for your mental health is to limit contact and quit hoping for something that will never be. Spend time with the people that do love and value you and avoid the others.

 

[Julie08]

Some people love their children dearly but dont want to spend every holiday with them

 

[turney31]

I would gladly spend every holiday with all of my children and my step Dad. Not enough money in the world to make me spend one second with my mother or real dad. Chixie, it is OK to put toxic people out of your life or to tolerate them unless it affects your happiness in your life. I love my mother. I forgive my mother. I just do it 5 hours away and in my heart and mind. I pray for her. Don't need any one saying you'll regret it when she is gone. She should have thought of that years ago. No husband- not one of 4 children that will speak to her. Sad but true. Took 50 years of hell to get to this point but now........Total PEACE.

 

[tobin123]

This is how it is in our family as well.My father use to come over with step mom but now there is always an excuse to why she isn't with him BUT just to find out she is having her family with grand-kids over to my fathers house.NO INVITE for us or his other kids that I know of.I did find out that my brother and his family do go over a lot. BS!!!!!!He is at the point now he doesn't even call us,we only live 15 minutes from him.I always see them in town with her grand son.She has 3 sons(different dads)and now has 3 grand-kids with one son all by different moms.She favors them big time,which is fine BC I hate her but when my OWN father ignores us and my son(his first and only grand-son)that hurts a lot.He is always taking them somewhere or fishing and boating.HE IS STARTING TO P*** me off with this.It hurts a lot.He didn't even call for THanksgiving.

WHy is that that parents don't think,I promise not to be like them at all.



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[tobin123]

My mother only lives 20 minutes and is divorced(3rd time)and is dating some guy,I refuse to meet him.She is the same with us won't come over but when it comes to him she will drive 30 minutes and be all happy with him.I have had it with them all.She is the same with her 3 kids and grand-kids we all can't take her constant whining and nagging and BS.SO we ignore her but I try the most and always come home crying to my husband.He hates her for all that she and my real father have done to us.
I like your saying about TOXIC people. I wish my parents would wake up and realize that life is short.






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[Three Cedars Silkies]

People...even parents....act this way because they are completely self-centered. In the case of men who allow their second wives to dominate their lives...they are weak and lily-livered. I can assure you that this type of behavior would never be tolerated by my DH or by me and we both have a grown child by a previous marriage. We plan our holidays with everyone invited. Whether they choose to participate is up to them.

 

[chixie]

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he doesnt spend any holidays with his kids or grand kids. my children has gotten to the point they dont even like him

 

[HeatherLynn]

I would not make a huge point of forcing the issue. Spend time with the family you are most comfortable with and who desire time with all of you. If you want to maintain contact just send you dad a card. Sometimes you just have to give up. That sounds bad but it isn't. I have family that could and tried to make me miserable. In the end you felt worthless and unwanted. It came to the point I divorced them. Its nothing that really involved them, it was something I did internally. Their opinion or company ceased to matter. They were still family but they did not have a hold over any part of my life anymore. I was much happier once I was able to come to that point.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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One thing to consider...my stepkids almost always spend the holiday with their mom, not with us. They are/would be welcome here, and I am pretty sure they know it, but it becomes difficult for grown kids with families of their own and multiple sets of inlaws to fit everyone in all the time. They have a very elderly grandfather who comes down most every Thanksgiving. I would feel terrible if they ignored him to come here while he is in town. As a tradition, we have started celebrating Christmas usually after, but last year it was before. Haven't decided the date this year, and who knows, I may ask them to all come on Christmas; probably not, though. With at least one daughter we have to schedule literally months in advance