My dad has cute anemia/He passed away

[Mskayladog]

Did your mom sign she is the person responsible for any bills? If she signed your dads name that may help with getting out from under the hospital bills. If your mother ends up having to pay them....the hospital will come up with a payment plan if it's to high they will send it to another agency NOT a collection agency who your mother will be able to make the payment and they will be lower then what the hospital is asking for.

Also like another poster said..let a lawyer or a financial advisor handle it. That's what we did when my father passed away and when my childrens father died.

I'm so sorry for your loss at such a young age. My heart breaks for you. Hugs and prayers go out to you.

 

[Gargoyle]

Funeral expenses are not cheap. Hope your father has prepaid his funeral expenses or life insurance policy or savings saved up for that purpose. I think SS will only pay 100 dollars toward the funeral expenses. And the living will......I can not say this enough about this, it would make a heck of a difference.

I've been hearing cremation is the cheaper route to go rather than body viewing, casket, funeral and burial services, etc.

Good advice.

The funeral industry does try to up sell people, and it is at a time when the people have a hard time saying no. Keep it simple, you don't need all the extras to be able to show proper respect and dignity for your father.

 

[Mattemma]

Very sorry for your loss.Prayers for your family.

 

[Moochie]

He was cremated. He payed $5,000 to have his ashes scattered on a young pine tree at a Buddhist temple in Tehachapi. That's being done this Friday. My mom just got really mad at my sister in-law..
Ok, so my sister in-law asks us "why didn't you take him (my dad) to the hospital before", my mom grabs the phone and asks "why didn't you visit him before? he told you and dave that he wasn't going to live for much longer and you never visited? why?" and sister in-law didn't have anything to say. My mom is also upset that my other half brother is bringing his wife's parents even though we have never met them before. She says they have no business coming to daddy's memorial and I have to agree with her..

 

[Gargoyle]

Moochie,

Funerals can be a very stressful time, people have suppressed guilt, anger, have trouble sorting out their sadness and feelings, so you need to try to be patient with everyone and support your mother.

Your half brother is probably very confused because of his feelings, and perhaps his in-laws want to help support him. That is understandable, you need to let it be. Help your mom focus on moving forward and on retaining her center, and the same goes for you too.

It's ok to be upset, but sometimes at these times people turn that upset into arguing or lashing out at others; quite normal, but that just adds to the difficulty and pain. Try to maintain your dignity and balance through it and you'll find strength and you'll set an example for everyone else. And remember, it's ok to cry.

Keep us posted.

 

[dainerra]

. My mom is also upset that my other half brother is bringing his wife's parents even though we have never met them before. She says they have no business coming to daddy's memorial and I have to agree with her..

Funerals aren't for the dead, they are for the living. From your previous posts, it sounds like your half-siblings weren't close to your family so I think that having his own support system is wonderful. Just because he didn't get along with your father (and remember that there are 2 sides to every story), doesn't mean that he doesn't mourn his passing. Let him grieve and lean on his loved one for support.

As for your aunt, her reaction is entirely understandable. I've heard it at more than 1 memorial. In a tragedy, it is normal to look for someone to blame. She is likely feeling guilty and she is upset at the loss of her brother. She thinks "if only...." and she is lashing out at people. If necessary, give her a wide berth. Otherwise, turn the other cheek. I know that her words are hurtful but they are borne from her pain.

 

[Moochie]

My aunt? My aunt isn't coming to the memorial.

 

[Gargoyle]

My aunt? My aunt isn't coming to the memorial.

I think dianerra was referring to your sister-in-law, a quick read made it seem like it was your mothers sister-in-law, who would be your aunt.

 

[mississippifarmboy]

Moochie.....

I am so sorry. I just found this thread. I know there is nothing anyone can say to help at a time like this, but you and your Mom are in my thoughts.

 

[dainerra]

I think dianerra was referring to your sister-in-law, a quick read made it seem like it was your mothers sister-in-law, who would be your aunt.

yeah, I misread that as "Mother's SIL" not sure how. either way, the idea still stands - when someone dies, people are always looking for someone to blame to ease their own pain or the pain that a loved one is feeling.