My family, I don't know how you do this

[debilorrah]

April there is something funky with what the dentist did and if your mom has a PPO, get to another doc now. If she has an HMO, insist on a referral to an ENT. This is not right, nor normal.....

 

[Tala]

Quote:
I've always thought that dentist was.....in a racket with his brother, at the least.

His brother is an orthodontist, recommened to us by another family, so we tried him out, but I didn't like what he had to say so we went to another ortohodontist.
Well, the first ortho wanted to cut my wisdom teeth out - and wanted his brother the dentist to do it. The new ortho said my teeth could stay - see why I suspect a racket?? One bro referring his patients to the other for treatments that may or may not be necessary.
Anyway, I had a cleaning with the dentist, and when he found out he wouldn't be operating on my mouth he got really rude with me. That was 10 years ago. I'm not sure why mom continued to go to him

but I definitely got a bad gut feeling, and heck I was only 14 at the time!!!

I don't know what kind of doc she's seeing tomorrow, but I guess it means she's still trying to figure this crap out.
Unfortunately, the costs of all these tests are gonna be a problem. Argh. At least now they have the best insurance that they've had since I've been born, but it's kinda stretched thin with all of dad's health issues.
Last I heard, they were talking about getting dad "proton therapy" because it's not supposed to damage the good tissue as much as other treatments, but the insurance company refused to pay for it. I think they were gonna pay for it out of pocket anyway this fall, but now all this has been going on and I haven't heard any updates about dad.

 

[Beekissed]

I wish there was a user manual for life

Actually, there is...but no one wants to talk about that on a chicken forum.

It sounds as if your mother has a case for a law suit on that dentist. A second opinion would be good.

Moms aren't supposed to cry. They're supposed to comfort crying kids. This adult stuff is a whole new ballgame, and I don't even know all the rules yet!!!!

As for moms not being supposed to cry....you are entering what is known as adulthood. Now you are starting to see that your parents are human, just like you. They feel, they get sad, they feel helpless and out of control.

If you are wondering what to do for your mother and grandmother, I can help. Show some simple compassion towards them. When you are young it is easy to think that the world is all about you and how you are feeling about things but now is the time to imagine how the other person feels.

It sounds as if you are trying to work all this out in your heart and head and that is good. Its good that you are noticing and feeling empathy and its normal to not know what to do about it. The only thing one can do when your family is dissolving into trouble and strife around you is to try to be the point of calm in the storm. Be the rock. Some people don't have to do this until they are older, some get the privilege when they are young...these are the people who become strong in life.

Some people are born to greatness, some have it thrust upon them.

Maybe you could accompany your mother to her next consult on this issue and find out for yourself the details, do some research, be an advocate for her with the doctors. Learn about the disease process or nerve damage they are describing so you can help her to know what to do. Don't wait until your little sister gives you half the picture...step in and get involved. It sounds like your mother really needs a friend right now.

As for your grandparents? Sometimes no words are best. When you visit, ask them if you can clean or straighten a room or area for them, cook a meal, do the laundry. This gives you something to do besides talking and lets them know you care. Rub lotion into their feet or clip toenails...this is hard to do when you are elderly and even harder if you've had a stroke.

Oh!..and that manual? Its called the Bible.​

 

[justbugged]

I remember you posting about your mom right after this happened, and I know that I gave you a different answer back then. Now all I can say now is if she hasn't gotten any better in this time, I wouldn't hesitate in finding a different dentist or two and then an attorney. I also agree that perhaps Mahonri might have some insight on what happened. But with the lack of healing that you are describing, I wouldn't hesitate to sue, because what your mom is going through is not normal. If your mom wins anything at least she will have a way to pay for the medical help she needs.

As for the rest, it is a part of growing up, and becoming an adult. It isn't always easy, because growth is rarely easy. Still it is better to grow, than become retarded, and remain nothing more than a child for the rest of your life. I hope that doesn't sound wrong. I do think that you are certainly growing into the roll that you are going to have to take in your family now. I hope that you can always come and vent here safely whenever you need to.

 

[HeatherLynn]

I think she needs to see a different doctor on the swallowing and speech thing. I am no expert but it does not sound right. My brother has copd and he had non of those issues. He has them now though after a botched surgery on his neck damaged some nerves. The speech not so much( its very mild) but the swallowing is a huge deal. Your mom may need someone to help deal with the doctors to get the right answer. My mom takes me along as her 'hired bully." Some doctors will take advantage and give the sloppiest care to an older person simply because older patients seem to be unwilling to speak up and demand more. We can be demanding for them.

As far as older parents go, yes an owners manual would be nice. Its something we all have to deal and adjust to though. No matter how much we like how it used to be it never stays that way. Trust me your parents don't like the change much either. My mom get so frustrated she cries sometimes. Getting older sucks. Watching someone getting older is not much better. Hugs

 

[chixie]

I understand whole heartedly. I will be praying for you and your family... hugs sent your way

 

[Catstar68]

Quote:
I agree 100%. Find out what actually happened at the dentist's office. Your Mom goes in without a speech problem and comes out with one - dang skippy I'd be trying to figure out what went wrong. And I'd not accept the dentist's 'oh well, it just happens' explanation. Something is fishy about that.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Actually, there is...but no one wants to talk about that on a chicken forum.

It sounds as if your mother has a case for a law suit on that dentist. A second opinion would be good.

Moms aren't supposed to cry. They're supposed to comfort crying kids. This adult stuff is a whole new ballgame, and I don't even know all the rules yet!!!!

As for moms not being supposed to cry....you are entering what is known as adulthood. Now you are starting to see that your parents are human, just like you. They feel, they get sad, they feel helpless and out of control.

If you are wondering what to do for your mother and grandmother, I can help. Show some simple compassion towards them. When you are young it is easy to think that the world is all about you and how you are feeling about things but now is the time to imagine how the other person feels.

It sounds as if you are trying to work all this out in your heart and head and that is good. Its good that you are noticing and feeling empathy and its normal to not know what to do about it. The only thing one can do when your family is dissolving into trouble and strife around you is to try to be the point of calm in the storm. Be the rock. Some people don't have to do this until they are older, some get the privilege when they are young...these are the people who become strong in life.

Some people are born to greatness, some have it thrust upon them.

Maybe you could accompany your mother to her next consult on this issue and find out for yourself the details, do some research, be an advocate for her with the doctors. Learn about the disease process or nerve damage they are describing so you can help her to know what to do. Don't wait until your little sister gives you half the picture...step in and get involved. It sounds like your mother really needs a friend right now.

As for your grandparents? Sometimes no words are best. When you visit, ask them if you can clean or straighten a room or area for them, cook a meal, do the laundry. This gives you something to do besides talking and lets them know you care. Rub lotion into their feet or clip toenails...this is hard to do when you are elderly and even harder if you've had a stroke.

Oh!..and that manual? Its called the Bible.​

I like this post

 

[Qi Chicken]

I'm sorry, but I just don't get this. Your mom could talk BEFORE she went into the dentist and she could NOT talk immediately after going to the dentist? And this is just one of those things?!?!? I'm sorry. But talking is so critical, such a basic human function. I can't imagine what she is going through. If it were my mom I would immediately be calling a lawyer and specialist to figure out what the he// happened in there.

As to some of the other issues, my grandma recently passed away at 97. It was so hard to go visit. She always said how she wanted to die. It was awful. And I know she enjoyed it when I came, and especially when I brought the kids. It IS very hard, and I am sorry you are going through this. It's scary.

 

[Tala]

Well, today was interesting.
Somebody broke into their barn while my 16-yo sister was home alone. She said the guy first rang the doorbell, but she didn't answer, figured he was lost but didn't want to answer the door to a stranger.
About 30 min later she was about to get a shower and he came back. She said when he backed his truck down the hill to the barn, she called 911. He cut off the lock on the barn door and started loading his truck up with tools, while she watched from the kitchen window and talked to the 911 operator. Fortunately there was a cop already nearby, who arrived quickly, and scared the guy off. He fled on foot. Left his pickup idling.
So they didn't loose any stuff (maybe a drill, sis wasn't sure so the cops said mom or dad could come ID it later) but there was a lot of drama. They even brought in the K9 and searched for the guy on foot, but didn't find him. I would figure he made it out to the pavement and the dogs probably lost the scent, but I wasn't there.
They impounded his truck of course - it appeared to be his truck (personal belongings inside) so if it was registered in his name he is pretty screwed. The cops gave the stuff that my sisters could ID back to them.

This is the third time dad has gone out of town on a hiking/camping trip and the SHTF. The first time a black guy came in the front window while my sis was on the phone with 911, but fortunately he fled when he heard her yelling. The second time my other sister came home twice to the alarm having been set off, but nothing broke into. At the time she thought it was a malfunction, because the system is old, and since then it actually got struck by lightening so it doesn't work at all now. She said at the time she thought it was just a glitch, but now she's pretty sure someone was testing the windows or something, because of the timing it happening while dad was gone and these other two break-ins also happening while dad was gone. Today's badguy was a white guy with brown hair, so we know it wasn't the same person who came the first time.

Dad, is a talker. Who knows who he keeps telling about his trips

but obviously it's the wrong people.

Their neighborhood isn't the best, and the fact that their house is surrounded by woods gives bad guys a sense of privacy to do their breaking-in, but the fact that it always happens while dad is out of town is too much of a coincidence to just blame it on a "rough neighborhood" (afterall, even good neighborhoods are dangerous nowadays).