my husband left me

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by misterhandsome, Sep 9, 2011.

  1. misterhandsome

    misterhandsome In the Brooder

    Jul 3, 2011
    Kemptville, Ontario
    came as a complete surprise. and he refuses to try to work on our marriage. he's been seeing someone at work who apparently speaks to his most important needs to feel sexy and very much like a man, apparently. but she's not saddled with cooking, cleaning, laundry and all the other trappings of marriage. no - they get to have long walks, hold hands and talk, flirt and make out at work and then go home imagining their affair somehow reflects reality. not once did he tell me he had needs i wasn't meeting. yesterday he says maybe if he'd have told me sooner it would be fine, but now it's too late. i just don't get the logic. the reality is his office trollop stroked his ego while i gave him a life.

    we had a very good life, and he counted among his close friends my brothers in law and the husbands of my girlfriends. when i found out about the other woman and his unwillingness to work on us i calmly kicked him out. he was flabbergasted, said he didn't know where he'd go (i gave him one suggestion) and that he'd probably have to declare bankruptcy. i asked him what he expected, that this was his choice, that he couldn't expect to live in our family home under those circumstances. fortunately there are no kids involved; just plenty of debt. next stop is the lawyers office.

    i'm absolutely devastated and would do anything to save our marriage but he says i'll never change, i'll never appreciate him enough, he'll never feel like a protector with me. what gets me most is that he never once told me anything was wrong and simply refused to go to counselling. he's refused to work on the poor communication skills that came to light when his daughter didn't speak to him for a year. he's given up his (our) boat, SUV, house, land, pool, retirement plan for bankruptcy and fantasy. i cannot understand for a second what is in his head.

    i don't know what the future holds, but it will be hard for me to live out here in a big house with a large piece of land. i'll have to give up my chickens if i sell and move back to the city. it'll be lonely out here alone.

    just had to spread it further into the universe.
  2. ChickenScratchin

    ChickenScratchin Chirping

    Aug 26, 2011
    No words of wisdom to share, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. [​IMG]
  3. sparkles2307

    sparkles2307 Terd of Hurtles

    Oct 23, 2008
    Northwestern Minnesota

    Rotten of him.

    So many things to say, but nothing will make it hurt less.
  4. S.L.Swope

    S.L.Swope Chirping

    Apr 13, 2011
    San Antonio
    I'm so sorry this has happened to you. He obviously has no idea what it takes to make a life, home, and marriage work. You sound like a stronger woman than I. I don't know if I would have had the will to stop crying to type and start to pick myself up. I hope than you take him for all he has so you can continue the life your accustomed to and not be saddled with too much debt. Please don't spend to much time grieveing for someone who obviously wasn't to communicate and try to make your marriage work. Good Luck in your new life ahead. [​IMG]
  5. Orchid

    Orchid Songster

    May 10, 2010
    North Central MN

    Perhaps a smaller piece of land, closer to the city but out far enough to keep your chickens?

    More [​IMG]
  6. key west chick

    key west chick Songster

    May 31, 2008
    Gainesville, GA
    More [​IMG] I was almost in that situation a few years ago. Its not easy and it sux.
  7. chicmom

    chicmom Dances with Chickens

    Feb 24, 2009
    Strasburg Ohio
    Oh, Holy Smokes, I am so sorry! You did the right thing in making him leave. Wishing you the best and hoping everything turns out OK for you. [​IMG]
  8. Just remember the grass isn't greener on the other side! The problems he has will only carry over to his new relationship. Shame on her for helping to break up a marriage. If he cheated on you, he'll cheat on her!!!
  9. toochicky

    toochicky In the Brooder

    Sep 8, 2011
    Don't get rid of your chickens! Pets are the one thing that have always gotten me through rough times. I am not sure if chickens are very therapeutic (not a chicken gal just yet)..but my cats have been there for me when no one else was. Animals always love unconditionally.
    Maybe you should get a farm dog? A huge fluffy marshmallow dog that will not only protect but cuddle with you when your lonely?

    You can do this! Hang in there!
  10. CapricornFarm

    CapricornFarm Chicken Tender

    Feb 1, 2010
    Southern Virginia
    Sorry your husband is such a dog .[​IMG] Maybe you will meet someone who really cares for you. Look at it as a new beginning .

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