My leukemia's back.

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For the record, when summer vacation starts, we will be moving Dd #1, and my grandkids in with us. I do this with mixed feelings. The grandkids are still very young, so it's a lot of work cleaning up after them, and taking care of them. Dd #1 is going to college, and doing well at it, so she needs the help. Their current living conditions are simply unacceptable. Does this sound like I have not given this a lot of thought?

Well, as long as I'm able, I want to help her, so she can finish her education, and become financially independent. Then she can provide for herself, and her family.

While I can help her, she too can help me. There are going to be times when I am unable to do all the things I do by myself. I'll need her help. Yet, I'll still be able to help her some with the kids, and other things. Our combined efforts should work out better for all concerned.

I'm not going to live forever. I'm not digging my grave yet, but the fact is that there is no cure for what I have. At best they can delay it.

Dh, is going to be hard hit when I die. When single, he gets lonely, and tends to become a bar fly to socialize, and drown his sorrows. When he did this, he was working, so he was more responsible with it. He's soon going to retire, so the constraints won't be there. I am in hopes that having the grandchildren here will give him a greater sense of purpose, so he can better cope with retirement, and my demise. I'd hate for him to become a lonely, old, barfly. My daughter, and grandkids are going to be hard hit when I go, too. They'll need him too. He's getting older, and not as spry as he used to be. I hope by that time the kids will be a bit older, and he can impart some of his knowledge to them, while they can help him do things that age would hinder him from doing alone.

Yes, I've actually given a great deal of thought to all of this.
 
Anxiety! Yep, not a panic attic, anxiety. I had my doctor's appointment to check my lungs out. I asked for another x-ray. Did a breathing test. My lungs look good... Yay! So as he sat there and watched me, yes I was way out of breath again on my way into the office, .. He says this looks like anxiety. I said I know what panic attacks are! This isn't one. He's very calm as he touches my arm, and says, there is a difference. Long story short. He agrees I have MS after reading my MRI. He hadn't yet, first time. With the white matter in my brain it is either ms or small mini strokes. But he knows my history. He agrees it's time to see someone... else, other than the neuro down here. He sending me to Salt Lake to a neurologist. I could hardly walk yesterday. Getting up and just standing was hard. My husband was helping me walk around. Back on my blood pressure meds. It was high in the office. Also gave me medication to start for my anxiety. Yes that's one of the symptoms people with Ms can have. But he knows what I've been going through with this new diagnosis of my husband. Yes I'll admit... It's a huge worry.
 
getaclue said:
For the record, when summer vacation starts, we will be moving Dd #1, and my grandkids in with us. I do this with mixed feelings. The grandkids are still very young, so it's a lot of work cleaning up after them, and taking care of them. Dd #1 is going to college, and doing well at it, so she needs the help. Their current living conditions are simply unacceptable. Does this sound like I have not given this a lot of thought?

Well, as long as I'm able, I want to help her, so she can finish her education, and become financially independent. Then she can provide for herself, and her family.

While I can help her, she too can help me. There are going to be times when I am unable to do all the things I do by myself. I'll need her help. Yet, I'll still be able to help her some with the kids, and other things. Our combined efforts should work out better for all concerned.

I'm not going to live forever. I'm not digging my grave yet, but the fact is that there is no cure for what I have. At best they can delay it.

Dh, is going to be hard hit when I die. When single, he gets lonely, and tends to become a bar fly to socialize, and drown his sorrows. When he did this, he was working, so he was more responsible with it. He's soon going to retire, so the constraints won't be there. I am in hopes that having the grandchildren here will give him a greater sense of purpose, so he can better cope with retirement, and my demise. I'd hate for him to become a lonely, old, barfly. My daughter, and grandkids are going to be hard hit when I go, too. They'll need him too. He's getting older, and not as spry as he used to be. I hope by that time the kids will be a bit older, and he can impart some of his knowledge to them, while they can help him do things that age would hinder him from doing alone.

Yes, I've actually given a great deal of thought to all of this.
Click to expand...
I was going to say, after reading your first question of asking if you had thought about this, by the time I finished reading your post, I was thinking... I'd say you've given this some thought! Sounds like a plan young lady.
 
getaclue said:
For the record, when summer vacation starts, we will be moving Dd #1, and my grandkids in with us. I do this with mixed feelings. The grandkids are still very young, so it's a lot of work cleaning up after them, and taking care of them. Dd #1 is going to college, and doing well at it, so she needs the help. Their current living conditions are simply unacceptable. Does this sound like I have not given this a lot of thought?

Well, as long as I'm able, I want to help her, so she can finish her education, and become financially independent. Then she can provide for herself, and her family.

While I can help her, she too can help me. There are going to be times when I am unable to do all the things I do by myself. I'll need her help. Yet, I'll still be able to help her some with the kids, and other things. Our combined efforts should work out better for all concerned.

I'm not going to live forever. I'm not digging my grave yet, but the fact is that there is no cure for what I have. At best they can delay it.

Dh, is going to be hard hit when I die. When single, he gets lonely, and tends to become a bar fly to socialize, and drown his sorrows. When he did this, he was working, so he was more responsible with it. He's soon going to retire, so the constraints won't be there. I am in hopes that having the grandchildren here will give him a greater sense of purpose, so he can better cope with retirement, and my demise. I'd hate for him to become a lonely, old, barfly. My daughter, and grandkids are going to be hard hit when I go, too. They'll need him too. He's getting older, and not as spry as he used to be. I hope by that time the kids will be a bit older, and he can impart some of his knowledge to them, while they can help him do things that age would hinder him from doing alone.

Yes, I've actually given a great deal of thought to all of this.
Click to expand...
Being a multi generational house hold is becoming common again. It is great that you can help your DD that way! It should help with student loan debt too!

Thanks for the pointer on drinking in retirement. It would be weird to start a substance abuse lifestyle as a pensioner, but I have read about ti being common now too
 
Cynthia, I pray the new neurologist can be very helpful in getting things under control. Take the anxiety meds, and if you need a higher dose, don't be afraid to ask. A very good friend of mine is caregiver to her husband. He was a difficult person, and I'm putting it mildly, before he had kidney failure, heart problems, clogged arteries, amputations, etc. They really don't know how he's managed to hang on this long. When he has to go to the hospital, the nurses hate dealing with him he's so ornery. My friend developed high blood pressure, and anxiety attacks too. She isn't even dealing with MS, just being a caregiver for a horrible person. Being a caregiver is very stressful, even when the person being cared for is not too difficult. That alone can cause your anxiety symptoms. I'm praying for you, and your Dh.
 
lazy gardener said:
Cynthia, I pray that you will get in quickly to see the neurologist, and that he will treat you with wisdom and compassion. Do you have any one to help you get to your appointments and navigate your way there?
Click to expand...
We used to drive up there often. Now, not sure I mentioned this, but my husband has been asked to take the driving test. So, good question. I haven't mentioned this to our son that has moved down this way just to help, but pretty sure he will. I have another appt. with my dr. next week to follow up. We will then talk anout the dr. He found for me, and about getting me a c pap machine. I can let our son know that we will need a ride. I can drive. Sitting is no problem, it's standing and walking. :rolleyes: Driving distance, I don't like to do any more.
 

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