My leukemia's back.

[drumstick diva]

agree with that Alaskan

 

[oldrooster]

Bruce, I am trying to deal with stuff in small pieces, but I don't know what I should do with my life with what's going on with it right now, few friends, no family support to speak of, and I have not found a new church and haven't visited many in the 9 months since I left a hate filled church. Why I said hate filled the minister and wife (both PHD holders) refused to call me anything but a woman's name for over a year even tho I told them not to. and 2 others refused to call me by my name. mom wanted to go to that church, because it was the one her and dad went to when the were first married. I stopped going with her in July because the church became so tense for me.

 

[ronott1]

Bruce, I am trying to deal with stuff in small pieces, but I don't know what I should do with my life with what's going on with it right now, few friends, no family support to speak of, and I have not found a new church and haven't visited many in the 9 months since I left a hate filled church. Why I said hate filled the minister and wife (both PHD holders) refused to call me anything but a woman's name for over a year even tho I told them not to. and 2 others refused to call me by my name. mom wanted to go to that church, because it was the one her and dad went to when the were first married. I stopped going with her in July because the church became so tense for me.

You should go to a loving type of church. Did the old church use a dove symbol or a cross?

 

[Alaskan]

Bruce, I am trying to deal with stuff in small pieces, but I don't know what I should do with my life with what's going on with it right now, few friends, no family support to speak of, and I have not found a new church and haven't visited many in the 9 months since I left a hate filled church. Why I said hate filled the minister and wife (both PHD holders) refused to call me anything but a woman's name for over a year even tho I told them not to. and 2 others refused to call me by my name. mom wanted to go to that church, because it was the one her and dad went to when the were first married. I stopped going with her in July because the church became so tense for me.

Blows my mind.

So sorry that you had to deal with that.

 

[ronott1]

Blows my mind.

So sorry that you had to deal with that.

Sadly that kind of stuff and worse happens in churches. Did you see the news about the mainline church convention that was not Catholic that had predators that moved from church to church through the system?

We need to go into these Human organizations with our eyes open. Some, not many, are in it for the evil they can do

 

[Alaskan]

Very nasty.

 

[oldrooster]

Bruce, IDK what difference it make dove or cross but they had a dove on the sign they put out front and 3 crosses in the stained glass in the front of the sanctuary.

 

[ronott1]

Bruce, IDK what difference it make dove or cross but they had a dove on the sign they put out front and 3 crosses in the stained glass in the front of the sanctuary.

Dove is more focused in general on the Spirit. The cross is generally more focused on forgiveness of sin.

Try a church that has a cross

 

[oldrooster]

I know I've been depressed lately it has lessened, But I know it had a lot to do with the abuse that has occurred and the loss of mom and our cat etc.etc.etc. I realized it because I started to hate, and I mean really hate some people, specifically and in general, esp. groups of people, not based on race or color, but many family members, some at the church. and I hated the hate I carried for them, I am not quite forgiven them, but I want them out of my life, and out of my way. like a growth I want to cut them out and toss the waste of it all in a fire, to get rid of it. I know I am far from perfect or morally superior compared to any but if I know how wretched I am then I realize I need to get rid of it all, I do not want to end up like the ones who cause me to feel worthless and evil not only myself being evil but wanting evil to happen to them. Thank God I did not wish to harm them myself, or that I would even consider to lower myself to that level I would consider that lower than low.

 

[Alaskan]

I know I've been depressed lately it has lessened, But I know it had a lot to do with the abuse that has occurred and the loss of mom and our cat etc.etc.etc. I realized it because I started to hate, and I mean really hate some people, specifically and in general, esp. groups of people, not based on race or color, but many family members, some at the church. and I hated the hate I carried for them, I am not quite forgiven them, but I want them out of my life, and out of my way. like a growth I want to cut them out and toss the waste of it all in a fire, to get rid of it. I know I am far from perfect or morally superior compared to any but if I know how wretched I am then I realize I need to get rid of it all, I do not want to end up like the ones who cause me to feel worthless and evil not only myself being evil but wanting evil to happen to them. Thank God I did not wish to harm them myself, or that I would even consider to lower myself to that level I would consider that lower than low.

It is a difficult thing.... to move past the hurt and hate that one has when people "have done you wrong"

I am glad though that you are moving through it