My leukemia's back.

[getaclue]

Blooie, there have been times I've thought about how nice it would be to still be able to do some of the things I could, when I was younger. As to turning back the clock, no. For whatever reason, I really would not go back, even if I could. I can't explain why, although it must seem a peculiar attitude to some.

Maybe it's because of the examples set by my grandmothers, and mother. They aged with grace, and dignity. They knew when it was time to loosen their grip on the reigns, so to speak, and let the next generation step up to the plate. Yes, they were available in an advisory capacity, but the workload was passed on, with the expectations, and burdens that go with passing the torch.

I do wish my daughters had married better, or had listened about their educations, so they would be better off than they are. You have no idea how many times I've longed to be invited for Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Family gatherings, High Teas, or Christmases to their homes. Maybe I'll live long enough that it'll happen, maybe not.

Alas, they don't have homes. One daughter, and her children live with us, the other lives with her bio dad. I will never step foot on the bio dad's property as long as he's alive. I will never knowingly be in the same shopping center, store, or anywhere near where he's at. The only reason she lives with him is because she has nowhere else to live, since her husband died. She works, but can not fully support herself to live on her own. It works out, since her bio dad is very ill, and she helps care for him.

The daughter that lives with us, went back to school, and is doing fairly well. No, she's not ready to fully support herself, and the kids on what she makes, but she continues to advance, and climb the ladder of success. One day, in the not-too-distant future, she'll make it.

The other daughter will inherit a home, and property from her bio dad, so she too will eventually be ok on her own. She does make enough to maintain it.

For whatever reason, it's more important to me to ensure my children will be fine on their own, prepared, and well able to carry on when I'm gone, than to long for when I was younger.

As to wishing I had more energy, more strength, more stamina, boy howdy do I ever. Do I wish my body would stop shouting at me by unleashing aches, and pains, telling me to slow down? Of course. Do I have places falling apart now, that I didn't even know were there? Oh yeah. Hey, those things are not pleasant, but they serve to remind me that after years of good, and bad times, after years of life's battles, I may be battered, bruised, and scarred, but I'm still here in the battle. That's good.

 

[Egg Blues]

If I were diagnosed with leukemia or with most types of cancer, I would do several things:

1) Cease eating animal products entirely (as a lacto-ovo-vegetarian I usually consume some milk and eggs);
2) Exercise more out in the open air (I should be doing this pre-diagnosis!);
3) Take a minimum of 12,000 milligrams of vitamin C daily...up to 20,000--at least 1,000 mg/waking hour;
4) Get more green leafy vegetables in my diet, perhaps blended fresh with tomato juice; and
5) Keep making use of every moment I have to help others as much as I'm able.

Essentially, the problem with many conditions like this is that one is not in a good physically-fit condition with a healthy immune system and liver. This can be due to high levels of toxins in the body, lack of important vitamins and minerals, lack of exercise or sleep, the influence of drugs, including alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, etc., or other environmental or lifestyle reasons. Anything that one does to tip the scale in the other direction can help make a difference. When the scale is tipped far enough, recovery is possible.

Those with bigger budgets might consider hyperbaric oxygen treatments which can accelerate the body's healing considerably. I was told that one of the secrets to this is that when a person is exposed to higher levels of oxygen (around 36%, I think, as opposed to the natural 21%) under the greater pressures, the blood platelets can carry oxygen, freeing up the red blood cells to do more in terms of transporting food and wastes, increasing elimination of the latter and helping the body to recover more rapidly.

Naturally, a positive attitude is always super important. The state of one's mind has a strong bearing on the condition of one's body. A troubled mind, whether it be from unresolved conflicts, unreconciled relationships or lack of forgiveness, or just the worries and stresses that come with fears of future problems, contributes to physical distress and illness. It would be well if more doctors recognized and reminded their patients of the importance of some of these non-medical factors.

 

[N F C]

If I were diagnosed with leukemia or with most types of cancer, I would do several things:

1) Cease eating animal products entirely (as a lacto-ovo-vegetarian I usually consume some milk and eggs);
2) Exercise more out in the open air (I should be doing this pre-diagnosis!);
3) Take a minimum of 12,000 milligrams of vitamin C daily...up to 20,000--at least 1,000 mg/waking hour;
4) Get more green leafy vegetables in my diet, perhaps blended fresh with tomato juice; and
5) Keep making use of every moment I have to help others as much as I'm able.

Essentially, the problem with many conditions like this is that one is not in a good physically-fit condition with a healthy immune system and liver. This can be due to high levels of toxins in the body, lack of important vitamins and minerals, lack of exercise or sleep, the influence of drugs, including alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, etc., or other environmental or lifestyle reasons. Anything that one does to tip the scale in the other direction can help make a difference. When the scale is tipped far enough, recovery is possible.

Those with bigger budgets might consider hyperbaric oxygen treatments which can accelerate the body's healing considerably. I was told that one of the secrets to this is that when a person is exposed to higher levels of oxygen (around 36%, I think, as opposed to the natural 21%) under the greater pressures, the blood platelets can carry oxygen, freeing up the red blood cells to do more in terms of transporting food and wastes, increasing elimination of the latter and helping the body to recover more rapidly.

Naturally, a positive attitude is always super important. The state of one's mind has a strong bearing on the condition of one's body. A troubled mind, whether it be from unresolved conflicts, unreconciled relationships or lack of forgiveness, or just the worries and stresses that come with fears of future problems, contributes to physical distress and illness. It would be well if more doctors recognized and reminded their patients of the importance of some of these non-medical factors.

The much loved member that started this thread, @donrae, passed several years ago. The thread has been continued to serve as a source of support for others that are in need of support regardless of their health issue.

While I'm sure your post is well meant, it's not necessary to detail what you would do if you were diagnosed with something as horrible as @donrae had to deal with.

Thanks for understanding.

 

[wyoDreamer]

This may, or may not, be the place for this question, but here goes.
I have come to think of you all as friends, and I have an important discussion coming up with my sisters and parents about the parents end of life plans and need advice.

My dad has been in and out of the hospital the last couple of years, so far nothing really serious - but that day is coming. My mom is 13 years younger and in very good health. One of my sisters works at a hospital and has picked up some paperwork called "Advanced Directives - Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care" that she is going to refer too but I have no idea what is in it.

Question: what do you think are important subjects to talk to my ageing parents about while they are still healthy?
- power of attorney
- will
- funeral wishes
???

EDITTED TO ADD - Please, let me know if you think this post is in poor taste and I will remove it.

 

[N F C]

This may, or may not, be the place for this question, but here goes.
I have come to think of you all as friends, and I have an important discussion coming up with my sisters and parents about the parents end of life plans and need advice.

My dad has been in and out of the hospital the last couple of years, so far nothing really serious - but that day is coming. My mom is 13 years younger and in very good health. One of my sisters works at a hospital and has picked up some paperwork called "Advanced Directives - Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care" that she is going to refer too but I have no idea what is in it.

Question: what do you think are important subjects to talk to my ageing parents about while they are still healthy?
- power of attorney
- will
- funeral wishes
???

EDITTED TO ADD - Please, let me know if you think this post is in poor taste and I will remove it.

I don't think your post is in poor taste at all. Those are difficult topics but important to discuss. You have a good start with the ones you have listed, maybe others will come along once the discussions start?

 

[ronott1]

This may, or may not, be the place for this question, but here goes.
I have come to think of you all as friends, and I have an important discussion coming up with my sisters and parents about the parents end of life plans and need advice.

My dad has been in and out of the hospital the last couple of years, so far nothing really serious - but that day is coming. My mom is 13 years younger and in very good health. One of my sisters works at a hospital and has picked up some paperwork called "Advanced Directives - Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care" that she is going to refer too but I have no idea what is in it.

Question: what do you think are important subjects to talk to my ageing parents about while they are still healthy?
- power of attorney
- will
- funeral wishes
???

EDITTED TO ADD - Please, let me know if you think this post is in poor taste and I will remove it.

Do not resuscitate wishes?

 

[tripletfeb]

This may, or may not, be the place for this question, but here goes.
I have come to think of you all as friends, and I have an important discussion coming up with my sisters and parents about the parents end of life plans and need advice.

My dad has been in and out of the hospital the last couple of years, so far nothing really serious - but that day is coming. My mom is 13 years younger and in very good health. One of my sisters works at a hospital and has picked up some paperwork called "Advanced Directives - Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care" that she is going to refer too but I have no idea what is in it.

Question: what do you think are important subjects to talk to my ageing parents about while they are still healthy?
- power of attorney
- will
- funeral wishes
???

EDITTED TO ADD - Please, let me know if you think this post is in poor taste and I will remove it.

My sisters and I have had this discussion with my older parents. My mom initiated it actually. There are six of us girls and I just know a fight will happen when my parents go. A fight about all their things and who wants what. So my mom has it written down who has requested what. She also has her funeral planned out. I would just suggest having your parents write down what they want for their funeral and having all the kids write down and decide who gets what after the parents are gone. What will happen to the house? The car? Who will get power of attorney?

 

[Molpet]

This may, or may not, be the place for this question, but here goes.
I have come to think of you all as friends, and I have an important discussion coming up with my sisters and parents about the parents end of life plans and need advice.

My dad has been in and out of the hospital the last couple of years, so far nothing really serious - but that day is coming. My mom is 13 years younger and in very good health. One of my sisters works at a hospital and has picked up some paperwork called "Advanced Directives - Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care" that she is going to refer too but I have no idea what is in it.

Question: what do you think are important subjects to talk to my ageing parents about while they are still healthy?
- power of attorney
- will
- funeral wishes
???

EDITTED TO ADD - Please, let me know if you think this post is in poor taste and I will remove it.

AARP is a good resource
https://feeds.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2020/end-of-life-talk-care-talk.html?_amp=true

I have a will, revocable trust, power of attorney, do not resuscitate, long term health care insurance (nursing home), and prepaid cremation.

 

[Blooie]

Every time Ken and I initiate this conversation with our kids, they almost turn tail and run. Once I decided not to do dialysis or a transplant for my kidney disease, we sat them all down to discuss it. (Yes, I do also have an Advance Directive which spells my wishes out very clearly) The only one who “got it” was Katiebug. She was the only family member besides me and Ken who had seen the dramatic toll dialysis took on Linda and her family, so she understood and told us that night, “Nobody wants you to die, Gramma. But I don’t want to see you suffer like Aunt Linda did either. It was hard for her to hide and hard for us to see.”

So what we’ve done is entrusted my best friend with copies of everything, from the wills to the directives to the POA. That way there’s no questions later. Tammy reluctantly accepted being the “responsible party” and has the originals in her possession. But it was like pulling hen’s teeth to get her and Kenny and Jenny to have a calm, logical discussion. Way too emotional.

I’d say, have the conversations while you can. It sure beats uncertainty and resentment later.

 

[getaclue]

Last time I checked, there were no 300 year old people. Death is a natural part of life. Sadly, we lose loved ones that we don't want to lose, which can make discussions of such things unpleasant, or uncomfortable. Unfortunately, it's still going to happen. Being somewhat older, and having experience with the deaths of my grandparents, and parents, I can tell you in no uncertain terms, it's much easier on everyone concerned when it's all planned out beforehand.

One of my grandmothers had her casket picked, and paid for, picked the funeral home, prepaid the funeral, and planned every detail, including the songs she wanted played. The outfit she wanted to be buried in, was in a special place in her closet. She had asked immediate family members what they might like to have of hers. All of it was put into her will, and the executor was chosen too, along with how the rest of her estate would be distributed. Even her clothes, shoes, and old jewelry that no one in the family wanted, were to be given to her church thrift shop. She even made a list of relatives, and friends along with their phone numbers, that were to be notified. My parents, my brother, and I all had copies of everything prior to her demise. When she passed, one of the few things that remained for us to do, was place the Obituary/Funeral Notice, make the phone calls to those on the list, take her outfit to the funeral home, and attend the funeral.

My mother, on the other hand, died unexpectedly. Fortunately she was not a young woman, and more than once she expressed her wishes about when she passed. She too, made sure we all had copies of her will. My dad, still her spouse, was sole beneficiary, and executor. He ensured her wishes were carried out, but unlike with my grandmother, it was a bit more chaotic, regarding all the arrangements.

While we knew most of my dad's wishes, he made little to no preparations. He made his will when I was young, and never updated it. He was somewhat afraid of my brother, so he kept things secreted away, or hidden. The only 2 things he did manage to do was put me as beneficiary on his life insurance policies, and put me on his bank account. Once the funeral was over, getting legally named executrix, trying to figure out his finances, and deal with his estate was a nightmare. I know he had hidden a thumb drive with all the information I needed, but was not conscious, so he never was able to tell me where the thumb drive was. I hunted high, and low, to no avail. I know he had 3 storage units, but with great effort, was only able to find 2 of them.

My best friend for many years, was another secretive type person. I knew what her wishes were, and knew she had a will, and directives, but she never gave any copies to anyone. She left them sealed on the coffee table in her living room. She had been dead for awhile, before law enforcement broke into her place, and discovered her body. They saw the paperwork, but it was illegal for them to touch, or take it. One of her sons was contacted, and because he was not to get much, he destroyed the paperwork, and proceeded as her immediate heir, and beneficiary. He simply told his brother, her other son, she didn't leave him anything, and the brother never contested it.

The best advice I can give, is to plan everything out, pre-pay what you can, and give copies of your will, and directives to several family members. If your family members will discuss it with you, that's great. If they won't, then decide things for yourself. As to who gets what, again, if they won't discuss it, then make the decision for them, and put it in writing, then give them a copy. When more than one person has a copy of everything, then no one person gets sole control over everything.