My leukemia's back.

With my counts being acceptable, I braved leaving the house today. Where did I go, my first place out of house arrest? The Grange, of course
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. Bought a toy for the pup, and 4 big bales of shavings for the birds. I'm telling you, a bale of shavings is the best $10 I ever spend! I love how it looks spread over the coop, and the smell of pine...love it! Then, watching the birds scratch through it and dust bathe.
Yes. I know that feeling and smell well.
My husband will stand with his hands on his hips and scold them not to mess up their clean house.
I am glad you are out and about.

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Don't let the treatment brochure ruffle you. You handle much bigger monsters than words.
 
Well, I'm home again
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Monday was horrible. I checked in for my labs before the bone marrow biopsy. I'd driven up by myself, and knew I needed a driver after the procedure as they give me conscious sedation. So, my insurance had agreed to pay for a taxi to drive me from the hotel to the hospital, and pick me up after the procedure. Sounded good to me, but apparently not to the hospital. A taxi was a no-no, and they would not allow me to leave in one. Seriously? I so strongly considered going AMA, but this is kind of a pivotal time in my treatment and I really, really don't want to upset any of the doctors or make them think I won't comply with treatment. So, I wound up calling a friend of a friend and begging for a ride. Sat in my little room after my procedure for 4 blessed hours until she could come and get me--I was basically at meltdown status. I don't do well with the whole idea of being held prisoner.

Tuesday went much better, got my buttload of tests done. Wednesday, met with the transplant MD and signed all the consents. He mentioned the cure rate for a second relapse is around 50%, and I really didn't like that number. Well, after he explained they take all ages and co-morbidities into account, I felt a little better, but I'm still apprehensive about this whole thing. I really want better numbers, but my chances of survival for a year with out transplant are zero--that kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it? All my pre-transplant testing came back great--CT, x-ray, echo, ekg, PT eval, pulmonary function test. The only thing they found was some type of spot on an adrenal gland, they'll do an MRI when I'm up next week to investigate further and as a baseline. Hey, adrenal glands release adrenaline--maybe that's why I'm on meltdown so much lately? Sure, couldn't be stress or anything, could it?

Can't tell you all how much I love being able to come on byc and forget about all this crap.
 
Sorry that you had a bad day. Apprehensive is to be expected - you may be super MOM/wife, but after all you are still human.
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Wishing a better day for you today.
 
That's odd about the hospital not approving a taxi ride - wonder if it's because of the fact that a vehicle used for public transportation isn't a good idea at this stage in your treatment plan. Only thing I can think of that would make them balk. I sure hope that you got a good night's sleep and things look a little brighter this morning.
 
Rachel, that 50% thing? Look at it this way, you're going to be in the top 50%, not the bottom. When my hubby was sick, he was facing less than 25% survival odds. 21 years later, he's alive and kicking. You continue in my prayers, dear sister!
 
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or, no. No hugs...
Stupid cold, I'd give you germs
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Don't get tangled up in the words and numbers.

you are positive, stay positive. be positive (+B)
 
The "no taxi" thing was because I'd had medication that could potentially alter my judgement and I could be more easily taken advantage of. Now, while I was serving my sentence waiting for my ride, I crocheted a pair of boot cuffs from memory, a pattern I'd just learned last week. So, my thinking was pretty clear. My taxi had been set up by my insurance, so there were records of who would be picking me up. Third, I'm 5 foot 3 inches, around 250lbs, bald, have an IV hanging out of my arm, pale as a ghost, and get winded walking up stairs. Honestly, if someone thought I looked good enough to get up to naughty business with, I think that person needs some serious prayer
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I know I'm going to come through this well, that 50% was just kind of a shocker. But, God's been reminding me he's been taking such good care of me all along, and doesn't plan to stop now.

Thing is, I have to go back to that same unit that held me prisoner on the 17th to have my chest IV put in....I hope I get a different nurse! I don't want someone remembering I had a meltdown....
 

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