My leukemia's back.

[N F C]

I just picked up the Tramadol. Told him I was concerned about how I might react (I have the girls on Monday and need to be totally alert) and possible interactions with the other 18 doses of meds I take and he said the only one I needed to worry about was the Ambien, but if I take the Tramadol in place of it I probably wouldn’t need it anyway. We compromised and went with a 10 day supply rather than paying for a month’s worth, which I probably wouldn’t need anyway. He said he doesn’t like pain killers that take away all pain....often people who get that kind of relief start to overdo because it doesn’t hurt and end up aggravating the injury. Took one this morning, noticed less pain, and so far no issues. Fingers crossed.

Sounds like so far, so good B! Hope it works ok for you

 

[sourland]

@Blooie, I agree that 'no pain' can be misleading and lead to further injury. Pain warns - I'm getting lots of warning now a days.

 

[oldrooster]

Well it seems my no-count family has posted it on FB that my SIL is dying! I cannot understand WHY they must LIE ABOUT everything!!!!! She does not need this, we do not need this! sorry folks I have to vent, otherwise I may melt down and do something that'll end up wearing silver bracelets and with a roommate named bubba or tiny....

 

[sourland]

@oldrooster, we pick our friends - family we are stuck with - until we distance ourselves. I have eliminated a sister from my life and there is a SIL that is also eliminated (at least in my emotions.)

Vent away. Our shoulders are broad.

"Friends are the family we make for ourselves."

 

[N F C]

Well it seems my no-count family has posted it on FB that my SIL is dying! I cannot understand WHY they must LIE ABOUT everything!!!!! She does not need this, we do not need this! sorry folks I have to vent, otherwise I may melt down and do something that'll end up wearing silver bracelets and with a roommate named bubba or tiny....

How awful for SIL and frustrating for you. There's just no fixing stupid old rooster.

 

[oldrooster]

@oldrooster, we pick our friends - family we are stuck with - until we distance ourselves. I have eliminated a sister from my life and there is a SIL that is also eliminated (at least in my emotions.)

Vent away. Our shoulders are broad.

"Friends are the family we make for ourselves."

I have stated far and wide as long as my mom is alive and forced to be tied to this family I will limit as much as I can about contact, but after she is buried they are more than dead to me. I was 25 when my father passed and the night before we buried him they talked the mortician into banning me from being his pallbearer, they told me THEY where more related to him by marriage than I was from birth and he was NOT my father. IDK nor do I care if he was or wasn't, he raised me, and if he wasn't my dad then he should have been just as related to me as he was to them since he was married to my mom.

 

[N F C]

They sound like a toxic bunch, glad you're able to limit the contact.

 

[sourland]

@oldrooster, it was my Mom's death that freed me from any relationship with my sister. I tolerated a lot just to keep the peace. I understand. SIL I will tolerate for the sake of the Princess.

 

[Blooie]

Long, probably boring post here. Skip, skim, or read, it’s fine with me.

I miss my daughter Terrin every day. She was amazing....she’d light up a room just by walking into it. She was smart, pretty, talented, and an extraordinary singer/songwriter/guitarist, even recorded a CD in a well known studio. Her laugh made everyone else laugh, even if we hadn’t heard the joke.

But as wonderful as she was, that Terrin is gone. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was sitting in a courtroom with 6 year old Little Diane and 11 year old Jamie, holding tightly to their hands as the judge heard the child abandonment and neglect case against their mom, in all the horrid details, as our caseworker and the prosecutor spoke. And for them to hear him rule her as an unfit mother about broke their little hearts, and mine.

Borderline Personality Disorder, especially combined an with anti-social diagnosis, is something I wouldn’t wish on any family. It’s ugly and destructive, and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. Once a lie is out of their mouths, they believe it for the rest of their lives and nothing anyone can say will sway them. “They” always say that all it takes to raise happy, healthy children is love and your attention. Well, if love and attention were enough, I wouldn’t even be talking about this. My bright, energetic, talented daughter morphed at around 13 into a unknown creature who attacked me with a knife, caused untold sleepless nights when she’d run away or threaten to harm herself, attacked teachers, and lived to hurt others with words or actions. Kenny and Tammy suffered the most, I think. Everything we had financially, emotionally, timewise, and all of our energy was siphoned away from them and given to Terrin, and still it wasn’t enough. Tam didn’t even tell us that she had been installed as secretary of the National Honor Society at school because she said that every time she succeeded, Terrin would go into what we called one of her “dark periods” and make our home a living hell until she was hospitalized again. Tam was right, it did. We had a psychiatrist at one time advise that we make her a ward of the state so we could get on with our own lives. Just couldn’t do it.

Over the years we’d start new, but it always ends up the same way. When I had my heart attack two years ago, I got a text from her after not hearing from her in two years. It wasn’t concerned and supportive. The first line was, “I’m throwing the bull___ card.” followed by the ugliest, most profane texts you can imagine. She’s thrown us out of her life more times than I can count, then we’ll get a message from her that she loves and misses us. Ken and the other 2 kids wrote her off years ago, but the mommy part of me just couldn’t let her go.

Terrin is the definition of toxic to everyone around her. She’s had 5 husbands, lost her kids, her siblings, her dad and her nieces and nephews. The last time I saw her was when we took Kendra back to Sioux Falls so the rest of the family could meet her, and so she could be the flower girl at Little Diane’s wedding. Kenny and Jenny weren’t concerned about Kendra’s medical care or the 700 mile drive. But they were concerned about Terri being with Kendra at the wedding and reception. I had to assure a Kenny that she would spend no more time with her aunt than was socially necessary. I think I took 2 photos of them together.

I just got a text from her when we were on this last trip, after hearing nothing for ages again. She asked if she could bring boyfriend here for Christmas. He’d be hubby #6 if he lasts that long. God forgive me, I told her “no.” Who knows, it might have gone very well. But if it went the way of most family events go when she’s there, including Little Diane’s wedding, a beautiful family celebration would be totally ruined for everybody. When I asked the kids, they said that it was up to me - they’d try. It was hearing the resignation and even fear in their voices that made me say no. Christmas is supposed to be about the Good Lord’s birth, family, and reconciliation. Am I wrong for not wanting any more reconciliations at this point?

 

[N F C]

@Blooie no, you're not wrong.