My Little Sister Is Angry With Me

[LBejaran]

Spook is right about the turkey. He said it better than I would have, but he's right. If you kill that turkey your sister loves, she will remember the pain and loss all of her life and you will regret your decision. It just isn't worth it no matter how much money you have spent on feed.  It really isn't.  Maybe on Thanksgiving you can put a red bow on the turkey and present him to her as a gift. I have raised a number of turkeys for the table, but I had a pet turkey, too. I will never forget him. And if my husband had butchered him, even though that was our original intent, I never would have forgiven him. Never.

Maybe I just didn't explain it right, but here I go again. She doesn't interact with them. She doesn't play with them or feed/water them. She doesn't even take the time to check on them unless I need her to do it while I'm away (which never happens. The only connection she has with them is that she named one after he got sick. After that, there was hardly ever any interaction. So that's why I'm hesitant to just put aside my finances for her one sign of emotional connection to this bird.

I know I can't put a price on my sister's love, and I certainly would never intentionally hurt her. But at what point do I stop giving her all that she wants? If she had it her way, we'd never sell a chick or cull a rooster. We'd be overrun with birds. I need to monitor finances because if I don't, our flock's quality of life will suffer.

I'm not trying to be petty or heartless. The thing is, I love my turkeys, too. And it sucks that eventually one of them will have to be processed. And when we hatch some eggs, my sister will probably get to pick which hen she wants to keep. But until then, I can't just push aside what's best for the flock so she can say she loves a bird that she rarely even looks upon. It's like owning a dog and saying you love it, but you leave it chained to a tree with no interaction. It's not right.

 

[Bunnylady]

Hey, this is a bird we're talking about here. He may die before he gets to slaughter weight, and then it will no longer be an issue - unless you figure to kill the hen in his place.

See, I'm a softie when it comes to this kind of thing. I can't count the number of moderate-quality rabbits and completely unnecessary roosters I have kept, because my daughter got attached to them. She knows we can't keep them all, but she will pick a favorite or two, or three . . . . Being the parent, I could just put my foot down and say, "I can only afford so many, which one do we get rid of so you can keep that one?" Maybe I should.

I agree it's unfair for your sister to (in effect) tell you what to do with your money. Since she wants to keep these birds alive, but doesn't want to do any of the work involved, maybe she could at least pay for their feed?

 

[LBejaran]

Hey, this is a bird we're talking about here. He may die before he gets to slaughter weight, and then it will no longer be an issue - unless you figure to kill the hen in his place.

See, I'm a softie when it comes to this kind of thing. I can't count the number of moderate-quality rabbits and completely unnecessary roosters I have kept, because my daughter got attached to them. She knows we can't keep them all, but she will pick a favorite or two, or three . . . . Being the parent, I could just put my foot down and say, "I can only afford so many, which one do we get rid of so you can keep that one?" Maybe I should.

I agree it's unfair for your sister to (in effect) tell you what to do with your money. Since she wants to keep these birds alive, but doesn't want to do any of the work involved, maybe she could at least pay for their feed?

See, this is what I was looking for! They aren't even a year old yet (which is about how old you want them if you want a decently-sized bird), and already there is so much commotion on what to do with them. I just want to get them to a decent age! That's it! Once we get them there, we can find out, but I don't like being told what to do with my birds before we even get to that point.

And I totally agree that sometimes, you just gotta keep some as pets. We have little bantam cochins that, no, we'll never cull. I can handle that. Whatever. But these are massive birds that cost loads to feed a quality feed. And when I tell her things like, "Oh, well I won't get rid of that rooster, but can you lay out some concrete for me? We need to improve the coop if we want to keep this one," she just says sure....and then doesn't do it.

I guess I should just resign myself to never really being in her good books when it comes to these birds. I tried talking to her earlier about how I'd get her a poult of her own in the spring when they're available, but she just got mad at me for calling the turkeys "mine".

It's just...that's what they are! They are mine! Doesn't she realize that I'm raising these turkeys as a labor of love? Sure, I can try and find a store locally that sells free range, heritage-breed turkeys and just do that, but I started raising them for this. It's not easy for me either. I definitely don't want to do this (because turkeys are so charming and adorable in my book), but this is their purpose and for once I'd like to not get the stink eye for making a plan that may never even happen.

I think I'm gonna go see my babies. Today's been a bad day and I wanna hold my quail babies.