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I wouldnt listen to you either if you approached me like this... ^^^
But I didn't
I wouldnt listen to you either if you approached me like this... ^^^
But I didn't
My mom is so annoying sometimes!!!
- Thread starter Magic Birdie
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Birdies, I am the mother like that. There are six people in my family whose needs must be accounted for all of the time. It is not humanly possible to keep all six happy at the same time, nor is it the best way to raise children, in my opinion. My husband and I believe that children who have every whim handed to them do not grow up to make very good adults, and that's our job; to raise good adults. It is not our job to be their buddies nor to make life a magical place where everything is happy and shiny all the time. Patience, problem-solving, and reasoning skills are all very good to have later in life, and are mostly learned through adversity.
The junior members of our family are not privy to the details of the decision-making process. We consider all of the factors before we make large decisions, and decide things based upon what is best for the whole family, not at the whims of one child or another. If a child has concerns and cares to approach us with them in a calm, reasoned, and rational manner, we will listen to them and take them into account. If, however, a child who is prone to whining anyway throws a tantrum over one of our carefully thought-out decisions, then it becomes obvious that said child is demonstrably not mature enough to be a part of any decision-making process and is in fact causing dissension and strife for purely selfish reasons. At the end of the day however, no matter how reasoned the argument, the burden to manage the household still lays on the parents and any decision is their responsibility.
Were you my child, you may not know that I'm likely to lose my job at any time and am concerned about the financial aspects of adding new mouths to feed to the household. You would probably also not be as painfully aware as your mother is that you will be most likely leaving the house in a few years. Most newly-minted adults do not find themselves in a position to be able to afford or to house livestock, leaving the animals with the parent. Your mother may not want to put either herself or some hypothetical chickens into such a position. I know that I don't lay those loads on my kids, and they probably have no idea. It's not their jobs to carry those burdens; it's mine and my husband's job.
Lest you think that I'm completely heartless, I was your age once. I wanted a horse so bad that I could taste it, but my parents vetoed the idea. I went out, got a job in the veterinary business, and was happily surrounded by animals for years. I did finally get that horse, once I was 30 and financially stable enough to afford it while being a single parent. And it was great for a few years, but such a lot of work and money. I sold her a few years later, and as much as I enjoy them now, I wouldn't take one on a bet. The same goes for my chickens; if I lose my job and can't afford to feed them any more, I will sell what I can and slaughter and eat the rest to provide food for my family, who are more important than pets or my hobbies.
The junior members of our family are not privy to the details of the decision-making process. We consider all of the factors before we make large decisions, and decide things based upon what is best for the whole family, not at the whims of one child or another. If a child has concerns and cares to approach us with them in a calm, reasoned, and rational manner, we will listen to them and take them into account. If, however, a child who is prone to whining anyway throws a tantrum over one of our carefully thought-out decisions, then it becomes obvious that said child is demonstrably not mature enough to be a part of any decision-making process and is in fact causing dissension and strife for purely selfish reasons. At the end of the day however, no matter how reasoned the argument, the burden to manage the household still lays on the parents and any decision is their responsibility.
Were you my child, you may not know that I'm likely to lose my job at any time and am concerned about the financial aspects of adding new mouths to feed to the household. You would probably also not be as painfully aware as your mother is that you will be most likely leaving the house in a few years. Most newly-minted adults do not find themselves in a position to be able to afford or to house livestock, leaving the animals with the parent. Your mother may not want to put either herself or some hypothetical chickens into such a position. I know that I don't lay those loads on my kids, and they probably have no idea. It's not their jobs to carry those burdens; it's mine and my husband's job.
Lest you think that I'm completely heartless, I was your age once. I wanted a horse so bad that I could taste it, but my parents vetoed the idea. I went out, got a job in the veterinary business, and was happily surrounded by animals for years. I did finally get that horse, once I was 30 and financially stable enough to afford it while being a single parent. And it was great for a few years, but such a lot of work and money. I sold her a few years later, and as much as I enjoy them now, I wouldn't take one on a bet. The same goes for my chickens; if I lose my job and can't afford to feed them any more, I will sell what I can and slaughter and eat the rest to provide food for my family, who are more important than pets or my hobbies.
- Mar 29, 2011
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She is your mother and you will have to listen to her and go by her rules for as long as you live under her roof. If you don't want to listen to her then well tough luck.
I am sure someday you will have the pleasure of owning your very own chickens. Whether that is now, or 10 years from now when you have your own house. Your mom's house--your mom's rules.
"You don't know what you have until you lose it, so cherish all of it."
I am sure someday you will have the pleasure of owning your very own chickens. Whether that is now, or 10 years from now when you have your own house. Your mom's house--your mom's rules.
"You don't know what you have until you lose it, so cherish all of it."
I definitely agree with Kelly G. Sorry.
As for your OP where you say, "DO YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SCREAM AT ME EVERY TIME I GET A GRADE BELOW AN A+?"
I think that as long as your mom is paying for you to go to school, she has every right to complain if you don't make good grades.
Whether or not she should actually 'scream' is a different issue, but school is expensive and I'd be mad if my child just threw it all away.
If you're really not happy and are old enough to get a job, do it and get your own place. Then you can do whatever you want.
But I can assure you that once you have all the responsibility you'll decide that living with mom wasn't all that bad.
Oh, and I left home at sixteen and am I'm now nineteen. I don't regret my decision to leave, but A LOT of kids do.
As for your OP where you say, "DO YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SCREAM AT ME EVERY TIME I GET A GRADE BELOW AN A+?"
I think that as long as your mom is paying for you to go to school, she has every right to complain if you don't make good grades.
Whether or not she should actually 'scream' is a different issue, but school is expensive and I'd be mad if my child just threw it all away.
If you're really not happy and are old enough to get a job, do it and get your own place. Then you can do whatever you want.
But I can assure you that once you have all the responsibility you'll decide that living with mom wasn't all that bad.
Oh, and I left home at sixteen and am I'm now nineteen. I don't regret my decision to leave, but A LOT of kids do.
I remember thinking my mom was SO strict and uncaring . . . until I became a mom myself . . . and later I became a grandmom - and I realize that I'm getting more like my mother every day. Sure, I wanted to raise my kids different than I was raised - in some ways - and I did. But still, I know that my mom loves me, and I'm so lucky to still have her in my life. Its hard being a mother - because the instinct is to give you everything possible - but common sense and looking out for the long-range good has to prevail.
Good luck!
Good luck!
CarolJ said:
I remember thinking my mom was SO strict and uncaring . . . until I became a mom myself . . . and later I became a grandmom - and I realize that I'm getting more like my mother every day. Sure, I wanted to raise my kids different than I was raised - in some ways - and I did. But still, I know that my mom loves me, and I'm so lucky to still have her in my life. Its hard being a mother - because the instinct is to give you everything possible - but common sense and looking out for the long-range good has to prevail.
Good luck!
that Darn quote thingy Bugs me, But You know what i Mean By it!
Any Way,
Listen to you Mom, Mother Knows best!
It Can get Annoying Sometimes, Believe Me, But She is doing the Best she Can to Raise you and your House Hold.
My mom CAN Be Annoying Sometimes, but i know one thing, She Loves you.
I'm very sorry for your chickens though
I remember thinking my mom was SO strict and uncaring . . . until I became a mom myself . . . and later I became a grandmom - and I realize that I'm getting more like my mother every day. Sure, I wanted to raise my kids different than I was raised - in some ways - and I did. But still, I know that my mom loves me, and I'm so lucky to still have her in my life. Its hard being a mother - because the instinct is to give you everything possible - but common sense and looking out for the long-range good has to prevail.
Good luck!
that Darn quote thingy Bugs me, But You know what i Mean By it!
Any Way,
Listen to you Mom, Mother Knows best!
It Can get Annoying Sometimes, Believe Me, But She is doing the Best she Can to Raise you and your House Hold.
My mom CAN Be Annoying Sometimes, but i know one thing, She Loves you.
I'm very sorry for your chickens though
Quote:
Hear, hear!! Excellent post!
Moms have the most important job on Earth and very little credit is given them for performing that job 24/7, 365, for 18+ years. Do we get money, awards, appreciation? Nope. We work for love. If I were you and I wanted my mom to listen to me, I'd first try to listen to her and what she is dealing with day in and day out just to raise you into an adult.
One day you may have this job and you will feel the overwhelming feeling of running in water, slo-mo like in a nightmare, while the world and everything it it is chasing you and, all the while, your ungrateful children are venting about you to complete strangers. I tell my mother that I love her every time I talk to her and I thank her for being the mother she was to me....and she never listened to me when I was your age either.
Hear, hear!! Excellent post!
Moms have the most important job on Earth and very little credit is given them for performing that job 24/7, 365, for 18+ years. Do we get money, awards, appreciation? Nope. We work for love. If I were you and I wanted my mom to listen to me, I'd first try to listen to her and what she is dealing with day in and day out just to raise you into an adult.
One day you may have this job and you will feel the overwhelming feeling of running in water, slo-mo like in a nightmare, while the world and everything it it is chasing you and, all the while, your ungrateful children are venting about you to complete strangers. I tell my mother that I love her every time I talk to her and I thank her for being the mother she was to me....and she never listened to me when I was your age either.
Quote:
I so sympathize...
Last month it was North Carolina, month before that it was back to Washington, a year ago it was New York, this week it's New Hampshire.
When will the madness end?! She also has this thing for intentional communities... Just shoot me now. I don't want people living in our backyard and seeing our underwear on the clothesline, dangnabit! (Yes, I know that there would probably be a reasonable space between the houses. The idea just does not sit well with me."
All I have to say to the rest is that I hope things get better between you and your mom. I think it's part of the whole mother-daughter thing to have a period of time where you just cannot STAND each other. Mine and I sure did.
I had overlapping groundings, it was so bad.
But as you mature and get to know each other better, and start viewing each other has people, rather than just "my mom" and "my daughter" it'll get way better.
Just remember that she loves you, even if she's just plain bad at showing it. It took my mom and I a long time to learn how to say "I love you" in effective terms.
I so sympathize...
All I have to say to the rest is that I hope things get better between you and your mom. I think it's part of the whole mother-daughter thing to have a period of time where you just cannot STAND each other. Mine and I sure did.
But as you mature and get to know each other better, and start viewing each other has people, rather than just "my mom" and "my daughter" it'll get way better.
Just remember that she loves you, even if she's just plain bad at showing it. It took my mom and I a long time to learn how to say "I love you" in effective terms.
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EXCELLENT post, CowgirlJules! Very well said.
As parents, we have to make some difficult decisions at times. Birdies, I've read several of your threads, you come across as very young and immature. When you get older, you may have a better understanding of the factors that contributed to your mother's decisions. Her job is to protect you and love you and mold you into a responsible human being.
EXCELLENT post, CowgirlJules! Very well said.
As parents, we have to make some difficult decisions at times. Birdies, I've read several of your threads, you come across as very young and immature. When you get older, you may have a better understanding of the factors that contributed to your mother's decisions. Her job is to protect you and love you and mold you into a responsible human being.
I also dislike my mom, once I posted a bad word on facebook (it wasnt that bad at all it even wasnt a swear) and she forced me to delete it. So I deleted her and she flipped. Now I just ignore her.
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