My only child got married...

[Judy]

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Wise words, indeed.

 

[thechickenchick]

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No, thats about right! (myself excluded of course

)

 

[raroo]

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I am in a similar situation right now. My fiance is the baby of the family and I have felt unwelcome in his family from the start, and we've been together for 6 years now.
When we told his parents about our wedding this August, the first thing they said was are we getting married because "we have to" (ie am I pregnant

)
Over the weeks they haven't acted like they care in the least, and his siblings haven't even phoned or emailed to say congratulations.
It feels really rotten inside to know you are unwelcome in your future husband's family.

My fiance feels resentful of his family's cold treatment, and it creates an awkward strain whenever he sees them. He compares them to my mom and sister who love him and treat him like a son and brother, and it makes him feel sad.
I'm interested to see how his family acts if we have a baby. I have this vision of us coming over with a new baby and Erik's mom grabbing it, and then they all circle around Erik ooohing and ahhhing over "Erik's" new baby while I sit by myself in a corner.

That's just how they make me feel.

 

[Chicks_N_Horses]

I married an only son...only child. He was very close with his parents and they raised an awesome man. I think his mom and dad missed him alot in the beginning because he completly wrapped his world around me and not them anymore...but he still loves his mom very much and I am sure your son still loves you very very much! Now, you get to enjoy having a daughter...hope you two have a great relationship!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
I am in a similar situation right now. My fiance is the baby of the family and I have felt unwelcome in his family from the start, and we've been together for 6 years now.
When we told his parents about our wedding this August, the first thing they said was are we getting married because "we have to" (ie am I pregnant

)
Over the weeks they haven't acted like they care in the least, and his siblings haven't even phoned or emailed to say congratulations.
It feels really rotten inside to know you are unwelcome in your future husband's family.

My fiance feels resentful of his family's cold treatment, and it creates an awkward strain whenever he sees them. He compares them to my mom and sister who love him and treat him like a son and brother, and it makes him feel sad.
I'm interested to see how his family acts if we have a baby. I have this vision of us coming over with a new baby and Erik's mom grabbing it, and then they all circle around Erik ooohing and ahhhing over "Erik's new baby while I sit by myself in a corner.

That's just how they make me feel.

And this is how bad relations with inlaws begin.

You want your son to be happy, don't you? Then realize that growing up and away from you is what he is supposed to do. His immediate family is now his wife, not his parents. Rejoice for him and forge a relationship and friendship with her, don't just tolerate her for your son's sake, but learn to love her for the same qualities that he sees in her--and search out other qualities in her--welcome her as a daughter and as a friend.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

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Great post!

 

[PurpleChicken]

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Great post!

In a perfect world that really is the best attitude to have, BUT, in today's
day and age, we know marriage isn't usually forever. I hope in the
OP's son's life it will be.



Just be careful. I'm the only child and the only male surviving grandson on
both my parents side. It's a strange dynamic. My mother treated my
wife GREAT. In fact my entire family liked her more than they liked me.
They are regretting that now big time. (For the record my female cousins,
who are like my sisters, and most of my closest friends HATED HER)

It's easy for a wife or mom to get jealous too. Be wary of that.

Pray on it and let both of them know you are there for them without
judgement.

Oh, NEVER TAKE SIDES, no matter who you think is right. You will lose
every time.

 

[Chickenmaven]

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THAT lies at the heart of my comment about double-dating. He is not your "other half." He is DIL's.

 

[mzrea]

I have no problem whatsoever with my new DIL. She makes my son very happy and I know that is what matters. I guess sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself if I am not caring for his needs. I just need to get a life! At least I still have my chickens.

 

[JennsPeeps]

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You KNOW what we're going to say to this one...






























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