My story (part 4 is up! look at post 1!!)

miss heny

BYC Cryptid
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13 Years
Jan 30, 2010
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okay, i saw other people writing stories and i would like to work on my writing, so here it goes

Part 1

She ran through the forest, dogs howling in the distant, she must get away, something goes off, a gun, a sharp pain hits her side, and she buckles. "No" she cried, if they caught her now she would surely die. The sound of voices came closer, one saying "Get up Sara, get up" Sara jerks awake, nearly hitting another girls face, "Mary, you know not to wake me up with out a face shield" she jokes and looks at the other bunks "Where is everyone?" Mary smiles "Today is break day, don't you remember?" "Or did you forget?" Sara rolls her eyes never she gets up and buckles over; Mary catches her "Would you like some help to get it to the hospital today?" Sara "Naw, I can do it." She gets up and starts to change out of her night gown into jeans and a tee shirt.

Part 2

Once she was fully dressed, she puts on a pair of gloves and walks out. Many people move out of her way, knowing very well who she was. Some of the new students look at her and in their minds they ask who is she? Why is every one moving out of her way? Sara sighs, she was a P13, a very high level telepath, she moves out of the way of a group of people, all of them in black suits, they nod to her, some mutter "Good day, Sara" She nods back and walks to the hospital, and waits. Soon a nurse walks over; a Normal. Great she groans in her head. The nurse sighs, "Sara Campbell" Sara gets up "Yes ma’am” Nurse, "Follow me." She walks off with a brisk, making Sara have to trot to catch up, she was lead to a room. Nurse, "He will be here soon." Her surface thoughts clearly stated to Sara that she hated telepaths, but she walked off quickly. After a while a young man comes in "You know the drill Sara" She groans and sits on the table, and grips the sides as he removes the old bandages on her gun wound and checks to make sure it is healing fine, and puts on some new bandages "Well it is healing well, soon you will be able to get back to training, but still be careful. You may leave." Sara nods and walks out.

part 3

It was a sunny day, but slightly cloudy, Sara was with Mary, talking "Mary, are you going to try to be a Psi cop or a Business teep?", "Sara, you know I want to be a Psi cop, but I am a P7, too low." she sighs, but then asks "So what do you want to be?" Sara looks at her, surprise "I never thought about it, I am a P13, so Psi cops might be the best, to catch the Blips." She shrugs. They walk to a restaurant; Mary looks around "Well, looks like we are early, again." She sits down, Sara follows. A black haired, blue eyed teenage boy walks in. Sara’s face turns pink. Mary cocks an eyebrow "No way girl..." Sara puts her hand on hr mouth "Shut, up." "Why? Hmm? you have a crush on one of the top students in the school! You guys could be compatible." Sara looks at her, with a bewilder look "I am not going to get married yet, so forget about it." Mary throws her hands up as if to surrender.

Part 4

Soon every one that was invited to the small eat out was there, Mary, Silva, John, Randy and Sara, they were about t do a toast when some one they all hate walked in, Bester with is annoying little sister Vala. Sara mentally groaned "Great, now this meeting is fully busted" Mary watches them, they walk to there table, Bester with a smirk on his face "Well Sara, my invitation got lost in the mail, you know very well that we should all work together" Vala was being quiet, just watching. Mary looks at them "We did not want you to come, so please leave use be for one Al" Bester face turn slightly red from anger "Don’t call me that Mary" the other watch as if a tennis match was going on, Mary was so calm "Why Al? Why shouldn’t I call you that?" she takes a sip of the water, Bester storms off Vala follows, snickering.

To be continued.
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please post on how you like it!
 
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Once she was fully dressed, she puts on a pair of gloves and walks out. Many people move out of her way, knowing very well who she was. Some of the new students look at her and in their minds they ask who is she? Why is every one moving out of her way? Sara sighs, she was a P13, a very high level telepath, she moves out of the way of a group of people, all of them in black suits, they nod to her, some mutter "Good day, Sara" She nods back and walks to the hospital, and waits. Soon a nurse walks over; a Normal. Great she groans in her head. The nurse sighs, "Sara Campbell" Sara gets up "Yes ma’am” Nurse, "Follow me." She walks off with a brisk, making Sara have to trot to catch up, she was lead to a room. Nurse, "He will be here soon." Her surface thoughts clearly stated to Sara that she hated telepaths, but she walked off quickly. After a while a young man comes in "You know the drill Sara" She groans and sits on the table, and grips the sides as he removes the old bandages on her gun wound and checks to make sure it is healing fine, and puts on some new bandages "Well it is healing well, soon you will be able to get back to training, but still be careful. You may leave." Sara nods and walks out.
 
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Sorry to say this but, the spelling and grammer is bad, and I'm too confused by it that I can't help you make it better,
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Just contact BirdNut, she might be able to help.
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sorry
hide.gif
, i dont have spell check.

i will
big_smile.png


I sort of understood it.
It sounds sortof like the climax of my book is going to be. HINT HINT!!
 
Quote:
sorry
hide.gif
, i dont have spell check.

i will
big_smile.png


I don't have spell check either.

Me neither. I just try to spell and puntuate as well as I can.
 
Quote:
sorry
hide.gif
, i dont have spell check.

i will
big_smile.png


I sort of understood it.
It sounds sortof like the climax of my book is going to be. HINT HINT!!

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great XD i am basing it off Babylon 5 Psi corps but this time more closer to our time
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