My turn to rant a little... grrrr.

[sfw2]

Two words:

MOVE OUT.

If not for your sake, do it for your children's health and safety.

 

[chickened]

What is wrong with Cindy Crawford?

A man does not need to be a Handyman Bob but I like to see effort a little smoke before fire. If this guy had his priorities in order this stuff would get fixed. The OP has began looking outside the relationship for help and that usually leads to a better person which may be the answer. Nothing wrong with a "git er done" woman either.

6chickens in St. Charles :

Quote:
X2

But it takes all kinds to make a world full of people.

Maybe expecting every male on this planet to be a proficient handyman is kind of like expecting every woman to look like Cindy Crawford? I know there are things in this life I can never be good at, but other things I can ROCK. Maybe she's with this guy for very good reasons, none of them handiness with plumbing? Nothing wrong with figuring out a life together as a team effort.

My 2 cents.​

 

[dewey]

Quote:
In agreement with this line of thinking.

If it were me...if need be, come hades or high water (sorry) I'd bide my time while saving my money for a couple of months and move with the kids, and only the kids. Let the guy stay there and fix the house...if it gets done at all, it will get done faster with a motivator. If it still doesn't get done, well, there's all one needs to know about how life will be with that type of partner. (I once had a friend that offered such an arrangement to move in with promises of right away adding a bigger barn and all that jazz...told him to build it first and then she will come. Guess, what? Not one thing changed on that property.

Ha, saw that one from a mile away, lol.)

I wouldn't be concerned in the least with any of it causing family problems on your guys' side, since they have already caused you and yours family problems without any concern over it. Kids will understand and even should they fuss about it it's up to us as parents to do what's right by them whether they like it or not. Moving again would be better than subjecting them to those living conditions for the sake of a man partner.

 

[angie3881]

I, too, have lived in situations that I did not want to. It can be SO frustrating. My husband is the WORST carpenter ever born. He is, by trade, a mechanic. If I left it up to him... my oil would never be changed. I have lived in a tiny, crappy apartment, had my toilets back up and fill the basement with poo and many other things.

However, I love that man with all his flaws.

(No one else could...

) He does surprise me every now and then. Sometimes I have to threaten and jump up and down, but he always comes through.

I simpathize with all you are going through, but if you love him... it will work out in the end. Give it some time and be forceful. If you can fix something, try.

I have an outhouse in my backyard... wish I could loan it to you... but my huusband in it most of the time.

(On a side note- when we had the sewer backup issues, we dug up the septic system and all kinds of stuff only to realize years and years of laundry soap had formed a thick goo at the washing machine and once removed, the plumbing was just fine.)

Good luck to you!!

 

[cassie]

Check out the porta potty. Call around to several companies. The price can vary tremendously. When it rains a lot here the water table gets too high the septic systems won't work and the toilets won't flush. Pumping won't help. One year the problem was so widespread the county provided porta potties for everyone in the area. You can run a hose or a pipe and have the washer drain outside and not into the septic system. We do. After a lifetime I have learned that if you hire a handyman rather than relying on an in-house handyman, things actually get done. Bear in mind certain black molds are very very dangerous.

 

[FireTigeris]

I have a gray-water system, look up how legal they are where you are at.

My sinks, and clothes washer are gray, my "pottys" and kitchen sink/dishwasher are black-water/ sewer.

The tubs are currently both still on the black/sewer water (septic tank) but that's going to be fixed... eventually.

My septic drain field is 15 sq feet and the tank is 900 gallons... way too small for a 3 BR house.

My Grey water tank is a 55 gal drum to a 15 Sq foot drain field of its own. One afternoon one rent-a-cat one prepackaged drain field kit later double the water moves (albeit slowly when the water table is up).

 

[sourland]

6chickens in St. Charles :

Quote:
X2

But it takes all kinds to make a world full of people.

Maybe expecting every male on this planet to be a proficient handyman is kind of like expecting every woman to look like Cindy Crawford? I know there are things in this life I can never be good at, but other things I can ROCK. Maybe she's with this guy for very good reasons, none of them handiness with plumbing? Nothing wrong with figuring out a life together as a team effort.

My 2 cents.​

Let me guarantee you that Sourland is anything but a 'proficient handyman', but when my wife married me I told her that would guarantee her food to eat and a place to live for as long as we were together. I have been able to provide far more than that and feel that when a man commits to another they should accept those responsibilities entailed in the relationship. It's worked for 47 years and hopefully it will last for many more.

 

[dewey]

m.kitchengirl :

I am a very tidy person but find myself less enthusiastic about housework the longer these things roll on.

Totally understandable...it can become a very exhausting/oppressing/depressing environment to try to rise above every moment of every day.

Hoping you find a good solution for your peace of mind.​

 

[Marcymom3]

Me too! My husband was a carpenter for many years. There used to be an old saying about the shoemaker's children being barefoot? Yup, there ya go. One thing I figured out very early was the honey-do list... in my case, it was "honey, do you mind if I call my father/brother/uncle/father-in-law to see if he will fix the water pump/field drain/furnace, etc?" OR I would start trying to fix it myself.

Now he does my daughter-in-law's honey-do list and my son does mine. This has solved lots of problems for all of us. The guys do what we ask and don't argue. Doesn't that sound great?

 

[FireTigeris]

What if you had a pitch of water next to the 'john' and turned off the water at the tank?

Less water in, less water out?

each person is responsible for refilling the flush bucket.

(I have a well on electricity, we do this when the power is out)