My Worst Nightmare

[EmtheFishLady]

If this happened to me I would have DIED. I wouldn't have Facebooked about it. You would all have read in the papers about the lady who died when the turkey flew into her house. Because I would have just died. End of story. This is the stuff nightmares are made of for me.


http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/05/18/michigan.turkey.window/index.html?iref=obinsite



I wanted to add, my youngest brother sent me this link in an email with this message: "If you mess with me this will happen to you"

 

[Southernbelle]

I'd think it was inviting itself over for dinner.

 

[Red&Yellow]

That's a new one: death by turkey.

Would you put that on your gravestone?

 

[gritsar]

Red&Yellow :

Would you put that on your gravestone?

I TOLD you they were out to get me! ???​

 

[gertiie]

I think the odds of a turkey flying in your window are pretty slim. I think you are safe.

maybe

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Quote:
This.


I don't think you people understand just how this turkey vendetta has progressed throughout my life. Let me give you some examples.


Age 5, petting zoo, big white turkey comes up behind me gobbles and steals my petting zoo food. He proceeds to follow me around the whole petting zoo and continues to do this. (My parents found it hilarious.)

Age 13, we move to the middle of an orange grove. Wild turkeys roam through often. I go outside to feed the cows, get attacked by a turkey. Turkey is riding on my back flapping it's wings wildly while I am screaming and running around like my head has been cut off.


Age 16, driving down the road and a turkey FLIES INTO MY DRIVERS SIDE WINDOW. FLIES INTO ME WHILE I AM DRIVING. I WAS A MOVING TARGET AND YET HE STILL GOT ME! I realize I am safe nowhere.


Age 20, while visiting my uncles farm as soon as I step out of my vehicle, I get attacked by his "pet" turkey. This turkey is "normally very gentle" there "must be something about me he just doesn't like"

Age 23, while picking up a rex kitten from a woman her "pet" turkey tries to GET IN THE HOUSE to get me. She claims the turkey just wants attention. I know better.



So yes folks, they ARE out to get me. It isn't being paranoid if they really ARE out to get you right? So I'm asking you all to do your part to keep me safe. Eat turkey. Every single day, at every single meal until we drive them into extinction.

 

[Red&Yellow]

But wait... I don't think you are 20something, so it's been a while since your last turkey encounter.

They must have given up!

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Red&Yellow :

But wait... I don't think you are 20something, so it's been a while since your last turkey encounter.

They must have given up!

Why does everyone think I'm old?!?



I am 23. I have been 23 since my birthday last year. I promise. It has not been long at all since my last turkey encounter. I picked that kitten up two days after my birthday last year. So, I'm about due for another attack.

 

[Red&Yellow]

Old? Who said not being 20something was old? What are you insinuating...??

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Red&Yellow :

Old? Who said not being 20something was old? What are you insinuating...??

Lmao, I admire the way you turned that around.

Ok, I shall rephrase. Everyone thinks I'm OLDER.