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So, exactly what did the "friend" say, and what brought the subject up? How would the friend KNOW that your in-laws hate you, and why would he/she tell you?
What makes you think that your in-laws believe that your relationship with your husband is on the rocks? Is this a recent belief on your part, or long-standing? If the "being on the rocks" with dh is a relatively new belief by your in-laws, do not discount that your husband has said things to them that he has not told you.
Other than your son, who was present when your in-laws spoke badly of you, and did they know your son was present? It could have been that he overheard something that he was not supposed to hear, or that he misinterpreted what he did overhear. How recent or long-term has the talking about you where your son can hear been going on? Has he told his father what was said?
A friend told you something, and dh wants you to ask unbiased family friends, but you do not want to tell him what the friend told you? This makes no sense to me.
I think that your perception of how you are treated and your husband's perception of how you are treated are not the same. Whether he has his head in the sand or you are overly sensitive, I cannot tell. That he wants to ask unbiased opinions sounds to me like he is listening to you and is concerned, but wants you to open your mind to it not being as you perceive. Family counseling might well be in order; a sit-down with dh is definitely in order, and firm ground rules on their access to your son are an absolute.
So, exactly what did the "friend" say, and what brought the subject up? How would the friend KNOW that your in-laws hate you, and why would he/she tell you?
What makes you think that your in-laws believe that your relationship with your husband is on the rocks? Is this a recent belief on your part, or long-standing? If the "being on the rocks" with dh is a relatively new belief by your in-laws, do not discount that your husband has said things to them that he has not told you.
Other than your son, who was present when your in-laws spoke badly of you, and did they know your son was present? It could have been that he overheard something that he was not supposed to hear, or that he misinterpreted what he did overhear. How recent or long-term has the talking about you where your son can hear been going on? Has he told his father what was said?
A friend told you something, and dh wants you to ask unbiased family friends, but you do not want to tell him what the friend told you? This makes no sense to me.
I think that your perception of how you are treated and your husband's perception of how you are treated are not the same. Whether he has his head in the sand or you are overly sensitive, I cannot tell. That he wants to ask unbiased opinions sounds to me like he is listening to you and is concerned, but wants you to open your mind to it not being as you perceive. Family counseling might well be in order; a sit-down with dh is definitely in order, and firm ground rules on their access to your son are an absolute.