I agree with all the previous posts telling you to get out. I would and make it FINAL this time. But before you go sit down with the 12 year old that you have essentially raised and tell her why you are going. Respect and love are essential. For her and for you. Make sure she understands that she doesn't have anything to do with it. I don't know how you can still be available to her without being available to her mom, but frankly her mom kind of sounds like a nutjob and she might need to know that she can at least talk to you if things get bad there. I am sure that the mom will try to get you back, especially if she doesn't have the money for the mortgage etc. Be sure that you are NOT going to go back with her even if she begs pleads etc. Because if you are, you might as well stay.