Need advice on ADD/ADHD

[LilBizzy]

I have a 22 year old success story. My son.
He wasn't diagnosed untill he was 7 or 8. The doctor said he had NEVER had a child so 100 percent ADHD.(Inattentive AND hyperactive) The doctor said this was almost like having a disability. There is medication to help, but the biggest thing is behaviour modification- because they have to live with this for the rest of their lives.
Now, my son was so bad, he'd get distracted on his way to the bathroom, and end up having an accident. Or be walking from the table to the sink with his dinner plate, and end up in another room. I can't tell you how many times we had to use the Heimlich Maneuver on him because he literally inhaled his food. He'd cry every night during homework, because it gave him a headache to force hmself to concentrate.( Very common , by the way). He'd cry because he knew he was different from the other kids, and because he couldn't control his actions.
He was (is) very intelligent. That added to problems in school, with being unable to concentrate, but also bored. HE was an interesting, complex child. At age 4, he had an imaginary friend ( Mr Geek).. and his imaginary friend had an imaginary friend. (LOL doesnt it make your head hurt)
It took over a year, but we were able to avoid medication. Basically, I watched his actions. If he was heading toward the bathroom, for example, I'd ask him what he was doing. Then, a minute later, as he bypassed the bathroom, I'd stop him, and ask him again. And he'd say oops, I was going to the bathroom. We did this for EVERYTHING. Luckily, he had gotten a teacher at school who suported my efforts, and helped keep him on track in school.
Theres alot more to it. It was tougher than I can even put here. You can PM me if you'd like. But my son went thru teenage years, and never got arrested, or into drugs, or risk taking activities ( Which is also typical for ADD kids). He still gets distracted, and he probably always will. But he's able to get himself back on track. He's still got a little growing up to do, and he still talks alot. HE did pretty much grow out of the hyperactivity.

As for diet, yeah, we tried it all. I didnt notice a difference. EXCEPT- yogurt- the kind with active cultures. Doctor recommended it for the constant ear infections that ADHD kids seem to get. Eating yogurt every day eliminated the ear infections.
Oh, and of course, anything that he might choke on- especially pizza, peanutbutter, nuts, grapes, anything hard to chew. We were still cutting his food in tiny pieces till he was 10.

Routine was very important. As was warning him well ahead of time( if possible) of any change in plans or new situations. Also, lists. BUT.. I used post-it notes. With one "chore" on each note. Because looking at too many at one time , he'd get distracted. So the chore list, he could do the first one, then tear it off, etc. ( and then I could stick them back together for the next day)

 

[MamaDragon]

I was diagnosed with MBD in the 60's.... Now it's known as ADD.
I was among the first 1000 kids given ritalin in So. Cal. and it was definately an experience. They pulled my meds when I turned 17, because at that time they felt that adults would abuse the drug rather than benefit from it.

Now, when I became a parent of a young daughter who also has ADHD, I swore that she would not have to go thru what I did. We did diet modification and behavior modification, and most of the time it worked. She is now 29, has never been medicated for ADHD, but looking back, I'm not sure I did her any favors.


For the diet - NO products with red dye; sugar, sodas with coloring in them (clear ones are fine), limit carbohydrates (as they convert to sugar in the body), and stay away from chocolate as much as possible.
YES! on 1-2 cups of strong coffee/tea with breakfast. The caffeine will actually slow them down, and make them feel more normal. Also, as much vegetables and fruit as they want, the more the better. I don't understand how the sugars in fruit acts differently in the body, but somehow it does.

For behavior modification - set a routine, and STICK TO IT! up at 6:00, dress, breakfast, etc... out the door for school. When home, homework is done first, then chores, reading to whoever is cooking dinner, eat, etc. Don't have the TV or radio on as they work, it's too much of a distraction!
Make sure there is a specific place for Everything they own, and label those places if you need to. (we did at first). Don't let them leave their backpack, shoes, etc anywhere but where it's supposed to be. It will save YOUR sanity as well as theirs!
When they just Can't Concentrate on whatever task they're trying to finish.... let them go RUN (and I do mean RUN, not play) for 10 or 15 minutes... burn off some of that activity, and then they can usually settle back down and finish.

Limit their television, Video games, computer (time infront of a screen/monitor) to less than 5 hours a week, and NEVER more than one hour without at least a 30 minute break between times. The brain will get excited by the rapid cycling of the screen, even tho our eyes can't recognize that's what we see. Don't let them hyper-focus on a particular activity for prolonged periods either. IN some ways, it's like someone who is epyleptic - we can get brain-locked or overloaded by some things.

I STILL have to live this way, and it hasn't cured all my problems, and as I age (I"m 49 now) my memory is not any better, but I have learned to cope with most of the day-to-day adjustments that keep me functioning.

Both of my young sons (ages 10 and 6) are ADHD and medicated; I've lived with it, raised children with the drugs, and without. I can tell you, From The Inside.... That we Just Want To Be NORMAL! and will cling to whatever works.

If you ever want to talk to someone who's "Been There, Done That", shoot me a message, and I'll help where I can.

Good Luck, and

,
Kathy
MamaDragon

edit for typo's

 

[newchickenfamily]

Hey guys! Thanks for bringing my post back up and adding some more great info. It is SO helpful to hear what other people's experiences have been. Thanks for the success stories too! The future is a little scary, but I know we'll be OK.

My DH and I have been taking a Parent class through the CHADD organization. It has been extremely helpful in explaining what ADD/ADHD is. I can't believe how complex and intertwined things are.

So frustrating.

We've been back to our Ped. Psychiatrist (sp?) recently. Right now, he says no meds. He doesn't feel it's appropriate at this time. She has Anxiety also, so any stimulant meds would put her over the top. We are open to meds but will wait for the right time, whenever that may be. We'll be getting professional help along the way.

I am ALL OVER the school and K teacher about her issues. So far they have been great. We do have an IEP. We've been working on behavior mods at home and we are seeing some improvements in her rage/meltdown episodes. We're learning how to better deal with things at home. What works for our other 2 kids DOES NOT work with her and we needed guidance in that area.

Anyway, thank you all again for your support! So nice to get so much help from people that I don't know! All linked by chickens, no less!

OK, I'm off to bed! We're heading out of town for the weekend. Leaving tomorrow!

 

[Reinbeau]

Newchickenfamily, it's complex and intertwined because it's the way the ADHD brain is wired!

We all learn to cope as we get older, even 'normal' people. It just takes someone with ADHD longer because while they're learning they also have to cope with a world that deals with things differently than we do. What helped me out the most was accepting myself, accepting the way I am, realizing that my 'differences' weren't as debilitating as many want me to think they are. I have always accepted that I'm different, and that has relieved the pressure on me to be what so many consider 'normal'. It has also made it much easier for me to raise two ADHD boys. I accept them and help them be the best they can be based on who they are, not based on how others want them to be. It's harder that way, but in the end living true to yourself is more rewarding.

I say this from the viewpoint of a 52 year old woman who has the benefit of all those years. Looking back, do I wish I had been 'diagnosed' and treated? I do wonder what would have happened, but would I have always felt like there was something wrong with just being me? That I needed treatment to live life? I think I would have felt worse than I did. I knew I was different, but I didn't know it was supposedly a 'disorder'. In the end I'm glad I didn't know until I was 38 - but once I did know, it certainly did explain quite a few things to me.