Need advice re: Horse

[Rusty Hills Farm]

I've always dreamed of owning a horse. I was given a free horse (as free as a free horse can be) last May. She is now 3 and is an Appendix (TB X Quarterhorse). She had very little training when we received her. She is now halter trained, can walk on a lead line, basic lunging and picks up her front feet. She's still so-so with her back feet. She's boarded at a facility 10 minutes from my house and I pay $240.00/mo for pasture board w/ 2-a-day feedings.

To try to put this in some kind of perspective for you, I have a homebred 3-year-old stallion. He ties, leads, clips, loads, lunges, drives. (He also knows his job and to submit to authority in the breeding shed, but that doesn't apply to your situation.) He's been shown under saddle about a dozen times. He's safe on trails or in the arena and is starting some basic cow work. I feel this is about the level where any average 3-year-old needs to be in his training.

Much as you like this mare, she is already way behind training-wise. She needs to be in the hands of someone who can help her get up-to-speed and reach her full potential. Finding her that right person (and not just any joe blow) would be doing her a kindness.


HTH


Rusty​

 

[sred98]

I completely sympathize with your situation, as I am in a similar one, myself. I got my first horse one year ago, and I still can't get on her. If anyone was going to be able to get on her, it would be me. She adores me, and will go after any horse that tries to get my attention. She is very dangerous. I know that, and the kids know that. The kids stay away from her, and they have their own horses. The thing that is on my side (I feel) is her size. She's between 13-14 hands, so pretty small. We sent her to a trainer that worked for Dennis Reis. He kept her several months, and suggested we get rid of her. This horse will do absolutely anything on the ground that I ask of her...crossing pedestrian bridges, hopping over logs, anything. She just doesn't want us on her back. I can't stand the thought of her going to auction, or being mistreated, so I think I have made the decision to just not have a ridable horse. Maybe someday she will be. Maybe once I am more comfortable on a horse, then I can work with her more. I don't know. But I am going into this knowing that I may never get to take her on a trail or to a playday.

My family hates my horse, and she doesn't care for them too much, either.

Although she has never intentionally tried to hurt them like she did the trainer. It's your choice. If you want a ridable horse, then you should probably get rid of her. If you don't care, and you are really attached to her, keep her. Also, there is a lot to be said for her being a mare. Mine is also a mare and she is by far the most tempermental. Especially when she is being "marish". Our other 3 horses are all geldings, and there is a difference. Although some of our friends' mares don't get as tempermental. I think it is an individual thing, but you have to keep that in mind when you are looking for a new horse.

Good luck with your decision.

Shelly

 

[thebritt]

Quote:
I agree - and finding an equitable trade may be easier than you might think. There are people out there that enjoy a good project, and may be willing to trade a horse that is no longer "challenging" for them. Have you tried craig's list in your area? Good luck!

 

[patandchickens]

What virtually everyone else has said. Not everyone is in a good position to work with every horse at every point in time, and if people *seeing* you two are suggesting getting a new horse, there probably really is a good reason for it. You don't want your body or confidence hurt; you don't wnat the *horse* or her confidence hurt either.

I'm posting only to add, it is *normal* to feel bad about deciding you've got the wrong horse for you... don't let guilt or dreams make decisions regarding safety or what's really best for you *and* the horse.

Good luck,

Pat

 

[SpringChickens]

I think you are getting a lot of good advice here. I taught halter breaking classes and riding classes when I got my Masters, and the most important thing is your safety.

I've seen a lot of people break horses, and regardless of instruction given, the people who have spent a lot of time riding horses are much less likely to get hurt. They tend to understand the horses better, simply from spending more time around them.

Videos and instruction can help, but there is a lot more to learning to start a horse than simply do A then B then C. There is a lot of nuance involved as well. This nuance can take years and years to pick up.

Horse training is very similar to training any animal, from dogs to children

. I can say this because I have all three

. If your dogs and your children are not well behaved, your horse likely will not be well behaved either!

I say this in jest, but there is a lot of truth to it as well.

Probabaly the most important thing is that you also need to be confident around your animal. If she scares you to any way, even if you don't admit it to others (or even yourself), you won't be safe around her. If this is the case for you, please strongly consider rehoming her.

If you do decide to rehome her, please let me know. I *may* consider taking a look at her, if it won't result in getting shot by my husband. Also, if you ever have her over in College Station, and want some help with her, let me know, and I'll be happy to give you a few hours of free instruction. Good luck with her.

 

[EweSheep]

I agree with everyone in here about getting another horse. In my younger days, I can handle the rigors and patience and the demands in training young Pasos but now, I'm 44, nope, my body is not handling pain or falls too well and it would be best interest for me to get a dead broke horse rather than taking on a young green horse, no matter of the price. Its too expensive and painful if something does happen to you or both of you and the horse if you do get into an accident. Its not worth it.

Save yourself the aggravation, grief by rehoming her. A good trainer can turn her around to be a purposeful horse that her breed is known for.

 

[lorieMN]

Quote:
I agree totally,I used to train..and loved it,,but at 42 the last thing I want is another green horse..I gave away all my colt halters to the Amish guy that trained my driving horse..therefor I cannot get another colt..lol.I have been looking at draft teams,but I want something thats nearly 100 years old and barely can lift their feet..thats my idea of a perfect horse anymore..

 

[Cara]

I agree with everyone else. I've found myself in a similar position although I have decided to keep my mare.

Realising you've made a bad decision and acting on it doesn't feel good, but neither does seeing a horse that you can't get along with every day. Rather than finding the right one and moving on, it's almost like having your nose rubbed in it.

We did decide to keep ours, but the circumstances are different. Luckily all of my in-laws are experienced with horses and willing to help with her. I can trust them to tell me if i'm about to do something dangerous. They're not afraid to ride her for me if she needs tuning up. If i'd been on my own with her she'd probably have been relegated to being a pasture ornament a long time ago.

How 'bad' a horse is really is subjective; I was petrified of my mare when I got her, I didn't even like leading her. My experience with horses was sheltered to say the least, only having ridden lesson horses. There's not so much that can go wrong with a horse that's been ridden daily in a controlled environment. To my husband and in laws, my mare isn't that bad. She bucks, but she hasn't bucked anyone off yet. She doesn't try to paw your head off

My point is that a 'bad' horse with the support to work with it is one thing, being on your own is quite another.

I also am a great fan of Chris Cox, but his skills are not something that can be learnt from watching a video. As he says, training horses is about intuition and timing, and knowing how to diffuse a situation before it arises. It is not about coming out of a wreck alive.

Just curious, how much did you know about her before you agreed to take her?

 

[australorpchick]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I have decided to go ahead and offer my horse up for sale. Once I sell her, I will start looking for an older, broke horse. It wasn't an easy decision, but I think it's best for all parties involved. Once I realized that I was hindering her and not letting her reach her full potential, I felt better about my decision. Luckily, my stable owner will help me with the sale and my farrier has offered to help me find a more suitable horse.

 

[RabbitMage]

I had a horse a bit like this as my very first horse. I will say that horse taught me a LOT-about having confidence, about the right place to stand so you don't get kicked, about why cotton ropes are great (they prevent rope burn). I had him for nearly a year and in that time, never felt confident enough to even try riding him. Even when we got him to a point where he could be saddled and bridled, I knew I didn't trust him. I ended up selling him to a trainer.

With the horse market as bad as it is, you can find an older, well-broke horse for next to nothing. This would be a much better, SAFER option for you, IMO. You want a horse that already knows everything, so that it can teach you.