Need an ear, and maybe some relationship advice.

[sheaviance1]

Hey lady, how are you doing? Just thought I'd check on you.

 

[justbugged]

Most people don't understand that friendships are not usually a forever thing. I believe that it is rare to have a best friend forever. I think most friendships are for a time. Our needs change overtime. Other peoples live change. Events change all of us.

So the idea that you have to still be friends just because you have been friends for the last 10 years, isn't true. You have a fantasy about what could be. Reality is that he is in love with his game system. He works so that he can afford the game system. The two of you haven't been real friends for a long time. The only person that thinks you are friends is you. The friendship is over.

No man who really loves you, will sit next to you and listen to you cry and do nothing. All you did was annoy him. He wants you gone so that he can be with his real love. You just haven't figured that out yet. It's time to morn the loss of the friendship, that you had at first. You need to move on. You will not find your special love with this guy holding on to you. Even when you aren't together, he still has a hold on you, and that will keep other good guys away from you.

I hope you can listen to so many people with the same experiences. Most friendships are only for a season. They exist to teach you something, and then it's time to move on. This explains why we have so many different relationship with a wide variety of other people.

 

[Animalian]

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I think it is because he loves himself too much. He was very arrogant and high school and had a big ego (so I was told by those there with him). Thought he was the best thing since sliced bread.

We don't fight, but after our last discussion about things he has tried to do things with me... problem is whether he knows it or not he's sulking the whole time. Or rushes it to jsut get home again.

 

[justbugged]

Quote:
I think it is because he loves himself too much. He was very arrogant and high school and had a big ego (so I was told by those there with him). Thought he was the best thing since sliced bread.

We don't fight, but after our last discussion about things he has tried to do things with me... problem is whether he knows it or not he's sulking the whole time. Or rushes it to jsut get home again.

Not very surprising. His true love is sitting back at his house. He loves the game system way way more than he loves you.

 

[Animalian]

Quote:
mmm all eight of them....

 

[justbugged]

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mmm all eight of them....

That sounds like obsession, but I bet if one of them was stolen he would be half crazy with grief.

 

[Animalian]

It does amaze me that he keeps his portable games charged up ALL the time just incase theres a blackout or the internet goes down

 

[justbugged]

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Simply more evidence that he really loves them. They don't talk back. They don't cry. They don't ask for anything. They assist him to not deal with anything in the real world. He loves his world, and most likely feels very safe. He isn't required to do anything besides play with his fantasies. The game systems are so much easier, than having a relationship with another human being.

Did I understand that he is still living with his parents?

 

[Animalian]

Quote:
Simply more evidence that he really loves them. They don't talk back. They don't cry. They don't ask for anything. They assist him to not deal with anything in the real world. He loves his world, and most likely feels very safe. He isn't required to do anything besides play with his fantasies. The game systems are so much easier, than having a relationship with another human being.

Did I understand that he is still living with his parents?

Yes, and so am I (my own parents that is)
I felt ready to move out years ago. But any attempts to get the ball rolling would fizzle out. Partially because I would do everything because he wouldn't so I'd give up on it thinking he wasn't really interested

 

[justbugged]

You are only 23! You are the same age as my son.

You need to learn who you are without your boyfriend. You seem like you have so much to give. Trust me the right person will come along, and you will know that you are blessed. A real friend will never ignore you when you are hurting. He isn't going to change. He doesn't have any reason to. His world is safe, and there will always be another girl that will have relations with him. It sounds like that is all he is using you for. You are worth more than that.