I, for one, applaud you for handling this like a pro!
need help getting child support from deadbeat mom
- Thread starter phaethona
- Start date
You can apply for a Legal Aid lawyer.The best thing you can do on your own is go through your local social service etc. and keep on it and make sure your case is kept up to date.As far as Visitation I think the court's will be on your side.You and your husband provide a stable normal environment and have for year's.Since she live's that far away personaly I wouldn't allow un supervised visitation.Sadly to say that's how many kidnapping cases happen with one parent.You can ask for a new visitation hearing.Since she hasn't held up her end of support the judge will look at that.We live in Virginia and the court's don't mess around much with deabeat neglecting parent's.My DH"s cousin spent 5 years in prision a few year's ago because of not paying his child support.Get as much info as you can on your right's which's look's like you guy's are totaly in the green and be weary truley.
- Thread starter
- #33
Quote:
Thank you!
I've been a part of her life since she was 2, and I love her no less than the children born to me. I didn't have a mother figure growing up, so I relate to her in a lot of ways, and I hope that I can make it easier for her to understand and deal with having an absentee parent.
Adopting her and taking her mom's rights away isn't an option for me. It's not my place to deny, hinder, or even downplay the relationship between her and her mom, no matter how much I disagree with her mom's irresponsibilty. It's important for my kiddo to understand who her mother is. At the end of the day, I was the one there for the important stuff, she knows who "mom" is.
Thank you!
I've been a part of her life since she was 2, and I love her no less than the children born to me. I didn't have a mother figure growing up, so I relate to her in a lot of ways, and I hope that I can make it easier for her to understand and deal with having an absentee parent.
Adopting her and taking her mom's rights away isn't an option for me. It's not my place to deny, hinder, or even downplay the relationship between her and her mom, no matter how much I disagree with her mom's irresponsibilty. It's important for my kiddo to understand who her mother is. At the end of the day, I was the one there for the important stuff, she knows who "mom" is.
Quote:
Thank you!
I've been a part of her life since she was 2, and I love her no less than the children born to me. I didn't have a mother figure growing up, so I relate to her in a lot of ways, and I hope that I can make it easier for her to understand and deal with having an absentee parent.
Adopting her and taking her mom's rights away isn't an option for me. It's not my place to deny, hinder, or even downplay the relationship between her and her mom, no matter how much I disagree with her mom's irresponsibilty. It's important for my kiddo to understand who her mother is. At the end of the day, I was the one there for the important stuff, she knows who "mom" is.
YEP! You're right.
Thank you!
I've been a part of her life since she was 2, and I love her no less than the children born to me. I didn't have a mother figure growing up, so I relate to her in a lot of ways, and I hope that I can make it easier for her to understand and deal with having an absentee parent.
Adopting her and taking her mom's rights away isn't an option for me. It's not my place to deny, hinder, or even downplay the relationship between her and her mom, no matter how much I disagree with her mom's irresponsibilty. It's important for my kiddo to understand who her mother is. At the end of the day, I was the one there for the important stuff, she knows who "mom" is.
YEP! You're right.
- Jun 29, 2010
- 428
- 3
- 111
Honestly, the first thing that comes to my mind is that maybe you(and your daughter) are better off. The less contact the better.
I personally would rather have less money and a life free of low lifes, than the other way around, but I certainly undeeprstnd where you are coming from.
Whatever happens, I hope things are resolved to your satisfaction. You must be a great person in her life and she's lucky to have you.
I personally would rather have less money and a life free of low lifes, than the other way around, but I certainly undeeprstnd where you are coming from.
Whatever happens, I hope things are resolved to your satisfaction. You must be a great person in her life and she's lucky to have you.
Quote:
Thank you!
I've been a part of her life since she was 2, and I love her no less than the children born to me. I didn't have a mother figure growing up, so I relate to her in a lot of ways, and I hope that I can make it easier for her to understand and deal with having an absentee parent.
Adopting her and taking her mom's rights away isn't an option for me. It's not my place to deny, hinder, or even downplay the relationship between her and her mom, no matter how much I disagree with her mom's irresponsibilty. It's important for my kiddo to understand who her mother is. At the end of the day, I was the one there for the important stuff, she knows who "mom" is.
I wish there were more people like you that 'get it' when it comes to relationships between families. Good job, Mom.
Thank you!
I've been a part of her life since she was 2, and I love her no less than the children born to me. I didn't have a mother figure growing up, so I relate to her in a lot of ways, and I hope that I can make it easier for her to understand and deal with having an absentee parent.
Adopting her and taking her mom's rights away isn't an option for me. It's not my place to deny, hinder, or even downplay the relationship between her and her mom, no matter how much I disagree with her mom's irresponsibilty. It's important for my kiddo to understand who her mother is. At the end of the day, I was the one there for the important stuff, she knows who "mom" is.
I wish there were more people like you that 'get it' when it comes to relationships between families. Good job, Mom.
- Apr 2, 2008
- 219
- 7
- 131
I agree with Joe Bryant.
i understand the THOUGHT of money might be nice, but think of it this way... how much would someone have to pay you to give up your legal rights to one of your natural born children?
i bet it would be way more than $122 a month.
Plus you never know what it might be like in the future. Your daughter is 12 now, but when she is 15-16, if she gets a rebellious hair up her heinie she may just decide to go fly out and hide out with mom... and once she is of age to testify in court you won;t be able to stop her. I have been a sad witness to have to say it doesn't take long to lose a child to drugs and alcohol.
Adopting her would be way easier and better for her interests.
In order for her biomom to contest it , she'd have to appear in court- your court. While she's there, she could get arrested for violating her CS order- assuming you get your butt down to the courthouse and file an order of contempt. Do that NOW.
She is set up to lose either way, and of the off chance she DOES show up, she might bring enough $$$ to keep her butt out of jail.
Good luck- I know this must be a hard decision.
i understand the THOUGHT of money might be nice, but think of it this way... how much would someone have to pay you to give up your legal rights to one of your natural born children?
i bet it would be way more than $122 a month.
Plus you never know what it might be like in the future. Your daughter is 12 now, but when she is 15-16, if she gets a rebellious hair up her heinie she may just decide to go fly out and hide out with mom... and once she is of age to testify in court you won;t be able to stop her. I have been a sad witness to have to say it doesn't take long to lose a child to drugs and alcohol.
Adopting her would be way easier and better for her interests.
In order for her biomom to contest it , she'd have to appear in court- your court. While she's there, she could get arrested for violating her CS order- assuming you get your butt down to the courthouse and file an order of contempt. Do that NOW.
She is set up to lose either way, and of the off chance she DOES show up, she might bring enough $$$ to keep her butt out of jail.
Good luck- I know this must be a hard decision.
Last edited:
Quote:
Thank you!
I've been a part of her life since she was 2, and I love her no less than the children born to me. I didn't have a mother figure growing up, so I relate to her in a lot of ways, and I hope that I can make it easier for her to understand and deal with having an absentee parent.
Adopting her and taking her mom's rights away isn't an option for me. It's not my place to deny, hinder, or even downplay the relationship between her and her mom, no matter how much I disagree with her mom's irresponsibilty. It's important for my kiddo to understand who her mother is. At the end of the day, I was the one there for the important stuff, she knows who "mom" is.
YEP! You're right.
She sure is. I grew up with the same sort of situation. Growing up i can count on one hand that i remember mother showing up.
She came back into my life becausei moved out of my parents house and was getting married. Behind me at the altar there was a little incident that i didnt know about when the mother of the bride was asked to stand up. BEFORE hand mom asked me if she was supposed to stand up, and i said of course.. you are my mom... you were there even if it was bad times and we didnt get along. you were the figure in my home, you were the constant, and not th variable. And she still is today.
You ARE important, you ARE a large segment of her life, even if you dont want to deny the birth mother the rights( she just doesnt care to have them at the moment). As someone who has grown from a situation like this, you will reap more benefits than you know at the time once she reaches adulthood.
Thank you!
I've been a part of her life since she was 2, and I love her no less than the children born to me. I didn't have a mother figure growing up, so I relate to her in a lot of ways, and I hope that I can make it easier for her to understand and deal with having an absentee parent.
Adopting her and taking her mom's rights away isn't an option for me. It's not my place to deny, hinder, or even downplay the relationship between her and her mom, no matter how much I disagree with her mom's irresponsibilty. It's important for my kiddo to understand who her mother is. At the end of the day, I was the one there for the important stuff, she knows who "mom" is.
YEP! You're right.
She sure is. I grew up with the same sort of situation. Growing up i can count on one hand that i remember mother showing up.
She came back into my life becausei moved out of my parents house and was getting married. Behind me at the altar there was a little incident that i didnt know about when the mother of the bride was asked to stand up. BEFORE hand mom asked me if she was supposed to stand up, and i said of course.. you are my mom... you were there even if it was bad times and we didnt get along. you were the figure in my home, you were the constant, and not th variable. And she still is today.
You ARE important, you ARE a large segment of her life, even if you dont want to deny the birth mother the rights( she just doesnt care to have them at the moment). As someone who has grown from a situation like this, you will reap more benefits than you know at the time once she reaches adulthood.
Quote:
First start by calling where the original court order took place this website will help. www.lyoncounty.org/FifthJudicialDistrict.htm . You are going to need the original court order from them. They should also be able to tell you if a warrent for her arrest has been issued due to none compliance with a court order. They should also tell you how much is owed. People forget that interest in added to child support that is not paid.
Then call here http://www.dss.mo.gov/cse/ (your state) as you may have to file with them. Finally you may have to also contact CS in CA because that is were the absent parent is http://www.childsup.ca.gov/default.aspx. You will have to either have her go to MO or you may have to go to CA.
Hopefully this helps you.
First start by calling where the original court order took place this website will help. www.lyoncounty.org/FifthJudicialDistrict.htm . You are going to need the original court order from them. They should also be able to tell you if a warrent for her arrest has been issued due to none compliance with a court order. They should also tell you how much is owed. People forget that interest in added to child support that is not paid.
Then call here http://www.dss.mo.gov/cse/ (your state) as you may have to file with them. Finally you may have to also contact CS in CA because that is were the absent parent is http://www.childsup.ca.gov/default.aspx. You will have to either have her go to MO or you may have to go to CA.
Hopefully this helps you.
- Thread starter
- #40
Quote:
thanks for the links!
I have some experience as a paralegal, but none with family law. your reply speaks directly to my question. Where I'm at now with it is figuring out, who do I call first? what paperwork/fillings need to be done? what's the next step? etc. Like I said, Im not in a position to hire a lawyer right now, and I don't mind doing my homework(as a paralegal I learned that a LOT of legal fees are accrued from simple tasks one can easily do without a lawyer)
so here's my (not fully developed) gameplan:
-have Lyon County send me the original court order
-have the Kansas Payment Center send me records of payments they've processed(there's maybe 4)
-get with MO social services and see if they can start an investigation
thanks for the links!
I have some experience as a paralegal, but none with family law. your reply speaks directly to my question. Where I'm at now with it is figuring out, who do I call first? what paperwork/fillings need to be done? what's the next step? etc. Like I said, Im not in a position to hire a lawyer right now, and I don't mind doing my homework(as a paralegal I learned that a LOT of legal fees are accrued from simple tasks one can easily do without a lawyer)
so here's my (not fully developed) gameplan:
-have Lyon County send me the original court order
-have the Kansas Payment Center send me records of payments they've processed(there's maybe 4)
-get with MO social services and see if they can start an investigation
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