Need in-law help before I go NUTS!

[ChevygirlBeth]

Quote:
That's what we ended up doing.

We could have lived in a beat up old house on one of DH's grandparent's farms (it needed the foundation repaired, a new roof, and a LOT of other work), but I knew that we would be spending too much to fix it and build fence for our animals and then there was always the chance of them selling it out from under us. We offered to buy the farm from them, but DH's grandpa refuses to let go of any of it (even though DH and I make their 200 acres of hay for them, fix the fences, chase their cows back in, etc, while the rest of the family can't be bothered most of the time). DH's dad and uncle each live on a farm owned by DH's grandparents - they won't sell to FIL either. They don't do any of the work and EXPECT us to do it all (seriously, we get chewed out for taking time to do things for ourselves instead of doing their work for them). DH's grandparents also do not have a will and still owe money on the 5 farms they own. So, it will probably be pretty ugly when they are gone.
DH really wanted to stay there, but I convinced him that we really needed a place of our own. So, we will hopefully be closing on our new home in a week or two!


Best of luck to you! I know it has to be very frustrating!!

 

[WyanLuv]

Mama-
I know moving to you is not an option, but been there did that. After three years of the MIL living next door, it was either them or me. We loved our farm very much but sold out, moved our animals to my cousins farm 4 miles away and bought a small house in town. But I can tell you as much as it hurt to sell out, having moved away from her constant naggin about her good for nothing husband and us having to do everything, it's like a little ray of sunshine shining down on us now. Our marriage is way better, the kids are happier and we are saving money to buy ourselves a bigger place in a couple years. You can fight as hard and long as you want to make everything "right" but in the end, it will make you more unhappy about it. Sometimes the harder you work for something makes it more worth having, but in our case, I think we made the best decision for our family. Good Luck

 

[country lady]

I bet this situation didn't happen over night with the MIL--the signs were there before moving in. Not much can be done about that now but I think DH would be the one to settle this with his mother since she seems rigid. I wonder why she is so hard-nosed about something that sounds so trivial. Has she always favored her daughter?

Where are all of you women getting these terrible mothers-in-law? I am a MIL and I love my two daughters-in-law. My DH and I try to treat our sons and wives as we would a treasured friend--and we mind our own business.

I do hope you can work this out. It certainly sounds as if you are being treated unfairly. I would keep my distance from her and say very little.

 

[seminolewind]

oooookay. I'm assuming that you are living in this home at a reduced expense, since she owns it. I would use that to my advantage and save for another place.

I know she's a PITA, but you need to become her best friend. Eventually you can tell her she's like a mother or sister to you. Ask for advice, recipes, opinion, and maybe help growing veggies or something.

Get your sheep pregnant

You are not going to get anywhere being at odds with her. And moving is not an option. So you might as well have pity on her and do the Godly thing and be her busom buddy. And of course you have no idea on how your sheep got pregnant!

And don't forget how grateful you are about her generosity in letting you live there.

 

[jvls1942]

which 1/2 of the property does SIL inherit? apparently DH gets the other 1/2? I hope his is adjacent to your 1 acre.. Your $10K building cannot be that large.. can you pick it up and put it onto your 1 acre??
If you move the building, make out like it is for your convenience, ie closer to your house, well, or whatever.. If SIL inherits the land with your building on it, she could end up with it.. called squatters rights..or something like that..
(her lawyer will tell you all about it)
who knows, you might even have to pay inheritance tax on your own building since it is not really on your land..
If you can get MIL to sign over DH 1/2 of the land before she dies and if she lives on for the required number of years you might not have to pay inheritance tax on it.?
statutes of limitations??

try to get to her on that angle after you find out the partiiculars.

I don't know your laws in your state,

 

[mamabird]

The house and property we are living in/on - is ours. She has no vested interest in it. We bought it and extensively renovated. Bought it years ago for $50K and now is now worth $230K That's what makes moving difficult - we have a lot invested and don't figure we can sell it in today's market. This was supposed to be the last move we made. The SIL and DH split everything 50/50. There is nothing else specified. The barn (not shed) is 40X60...not easily moveable. Thanks for all the advice - I'll just have to find a solution or learn to deal with it.

 

[FrChuckW]

Start billing the MIL and the SIL for maintenance and upkeep on the property, file a mechanics lien against the property for the cost of the improvements on it that you have made to it. Include in it any labor costs you incurred maintaining said property. In the meantime, put your property on the market and see what happens. Look for another piece that is comprable to what you want for your own farm.

Once they start getting hit in the pocket book they may change thier tune.