Need in-law help before I go NUTS!

[redhen]

well..one thing that might help her wake up is...sit her down and nicely explain to her what it is "exactly" that you want..AND what you are willing to DO/PAY to get it...and then...IF she still dosent want to budge...THEN explain to her that..your house is going up for sale...so, you can buy more land and do what you want with it...

...thats what i'd do...i wouldnt fight with her and make bad feelings......just worry about yourselves...if you want more land...go buy it somewheres else...best of luck to you!...

..

 

[nightshade]

you need to worry about what is best for YOUR family, you , your dh and kids you may have now or later. This type of thing don't just go away and trust me when your MIL passes away and sis gets her share it will only get worse. Don't let anyone tell you different, and if there is other children involved bedsides your DH and the fav. sis you better believe they will also be there wanting their share of what they feel they deserve. Making an already rough situation even harder. Death brings out the worst in people, and that is something else you are going to want to keep in the back of your mind.

 

[mamabird]

Luckily it's just the 2 of them...and yes, I know it will probably get ugly. DH and I agree that nothing is worth getting nasty over, so she will probably get what she wants. It's just stuff. Anybody want to buy a house????

 

[SterlingAcres]

Quote:
Agreed. Sit down and make the 'list of demands'. This is what we need, this is what we'll do for it. End of story. If there's no compromise, house goes for sale. For the record, putting more space between you and your MIL won't solve any problems. Trust me, I know.

 

[English Chick]

It is not easy when a family farm is split in half.....particularly when it is the one party who has maintained the property for years. You need to make a list of EVERY improvement that you have done since living there...you also need to be able to prove with receipts that it was the two of you that did them.....if the farm goes to probate your husband because of living there and mainting etc SHOULD (but only if you can prove it) get a bigger share of the farm...irrrespective of what your MIL says....if there is a will, it can be challenged so that your DH gets back what he has put in....Further it might be wise to write a personal letter to your MIL....explaining that you want them all to benefit from your hard work...but without more land it is becoming impossible...you have your family to maintain....ask if there is any chance of drawing up a Tenancy Agreement so that you can rent the land off her...it will provide income for her and land/income for you. If she refuses just ask for a valid reason as to why not...if it is just a down right refusal without explantion...then mention to her that you have no options but to sell your land and acre (she did not sell much to you in the first place...an acre wont maintain sheep for long) and move to (say the next state).......She sounds a little controlling to say the least...but you do need to nicely find out why she is refusing to let you work the property properly........Good luck and keep us all posted as to how you get on.....nothing ventured , nothing gained...and don't leave it too long .....

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Ummm... does MIL walk the property? How does she know if you have more animals? Could just be that you have very... ummm... "productive" sheep and your herd is growing naturally.
(This won't improve conditions with your MIL, of course. I totally agree with the poster who said you must protect YOUR family. Likely the easiest long term solution is to sell and buy other property. MIL and sis will always have their claws in this particular farm. Better to put your work into your own place and then sell the farm when MIL dies and put that money into your place.)

Good luck! In law problems are frustrating, especially when your DH won't step up and take the lead.

 

[smom1976]

i CANT stand my inlaws.. so I am just patiently waiting for them to pass..

dealing with the bull along the way.

 

[Wifezilla]

Unfortunately there are people in this world who get off on having something you want and holding power over you. Best way to deal with them is to let them know they are irrelevant. Lease land from a different farmer on another side of the property, buy land somewhere else and move...both great options.

As for the barn, if it was me (and I am evil) I would file a lien

 

[sundance]

have you contacted an attorney to see if all the improvements, and work on the land gives you right to the land, If Not, Pull down the barn tell her goodby and sell out. when she dies, you can be sure there will be the biggest fight you have ever seen, I don't know why but a death in the family brings out the total worst in a person,been there done that. DH dad died and with no will his sis and bro took everything.Well not everything, there was and insurance policy only I knew about since i took care of it and the way they acted, I forgot it for more than 15 years by then the co had gone out of business. Sorry, to bad for them. marrie

 

[seismic wonder2]

Best thing for realtives is Milage.

My mother and sister live in washington state, My dad and other sister live in Alabama.

I live quite happily in San Diego.