Need Kid Opinion - Being too Heavy Handed?

[Boyd]

Quote:
actually 3 of my 8 did do their chores. That's whats making life rough. I just laid down the law...... I picked #3 and I had a bunch of tears.

Fortunately I have a good excuse to cut my conversations short and let them vent to each other. The kids are working like crazy. Like the elves in the potters shop

Its hard listening to a girl cry though.

 

[gaited horse]

let them go but before they go they must clean the house, yard and coop.

 

[karl lutz]

Last year my daughter was warned about not going if her grade average was too low and I held to my threat. Not only did she not go to home coming she was exempted from all foot ball games until the grade thing was rectified. I was not about to start highschool by caving in on everything and setting that as a precident. Iam happy to say that this year we are starting with A's an d B's so I hope it is the grounding. But this is a teenager and they are subject to backsliding!
P.S. I have raised teenage Girls since 88 and I am still no expert.

 

[Year of the Rooster]

Well....


If you DO decide to let them go, then, as punishment, you could always go along WITH them to homecoming and watch their every move

That'll teach 'em

 

[AngieChick]

Quote:
I think your response was perfect. You showed them that you are compassionate and reasonable as well as consistent with your expectations.

 

[beefy]

if they were mine (and thank god i dont have any) i would threaten to chaperon the dance.

 

[AK Michelle]

Here's what I did....

Made a list (so they can refer back should they "forget")

You will have everything on your list done by 10 am tomorrow or you will call and cancel.

I will be up and around to evaluate your progress. When you think it's ready let me know, once it's checked off you are clear for take-off. Otherwise you will be sent back to try again.

AND, I texted their dates and told them the deal so they have a heads up...

 

[rocktheflock]

didn't read all of the opinions. mine (coming from a young person) is IF they get the house spotless by the dance, they can go and then are grounded for all eternity. i know i would be in a sea of trouble if i did that.

 

[wombat]

Its hard listening to a girl cry though.

I'll make it easy on you. Making them cry now might save them crying over something a lot more serious someday down the road. Cleaning your room or missing the dance pales in comparison to decisions over drugs, drinking and driving, or contraception and the associated consequences of all those things. Sounds like a good time for the "soon you will be on your own" talk.

I don't get home much, but when I do, I leave a ball at the tombstone of a teammate who died in a drunk driving motorcycle accident on Father's Day about 25 years ago. My kids get the drunk driving thing ... I bring them along when I go to pay my respects.

If they're crying and scrubbing you've probably done it just right.

Sometimes being irresponsible means almost missing the dance. Sometimes it is a lot worse. They've got to learn that soon.

I'd bet everyone on this board has lost someone they cared about to drinking and driving at some point in their life.

It is so much harder to be tough but right, and not take the easy way out with your kids, but you've got to do it. It's gotta be harder for you, yours probably come to you with less guidance and role models to learn from, and you have them for such a short time.​

 

[Dar]

my son got suspended 2 days before the Bon Jovi concert... the tickets were his bday gift...

guess what?

he did not go to the concert I went with my friend.

,my other son.. got suspended a few days before his own birthday party.. i made him call all the friends and explain why his bday party was canceled man o man did he cry...

and you know what i regret both of those decisions but something positive cam out of it... they never got suspended for those reasons again so they did learn but it came with a lot of grief and heart ache