Need Kid Opinion - Being too Heavy Handed?

[Picky Chicky]

One year we told DD if she didn't behave at school (another story), we wouldn't let her go Trick or Treating for Halloween. Oh my goodness we were so upset with ourselves later with that horrible decision because sure enough, DD had a really terrible day and we stuck to our guns.

We've decided that for now on, when it comes to "life events" or holiday fun we will be a little more cautious about what we're grounding her from. However, she will still get punished in some form.

One year my Mom found out that I did something pretty bad (I'd rather not humiliate myself), but it was a doozie. Anyways, I had a dance planned, dress bought, tickets bought and boyfriend had his tux rented for a huge homecoming dance - Mom refused to let me go. I don't think I spoke to her for a week, and that was after about 2 days of straight crying and refusing to get out of bed. (Yeah, I was kind of a brat) Ultimately though, I don't think my Mom's form of punishment made any difference other than make us all feel bad. In the end, the behavior continued and it just drove a wedge between us.

In hindsight, if DD does anything like what I did and she has a dance coming up... I would probably one up her... go to the dance and chaperone. Muhahaha

 

[Whispering Winds]

Quote:
Back up the truck and let er' rip out the front door! Give her XX amount of time to get it done herself, or here comes the truck.

 

[Ol'FashionHen]

Quote:
Debi you so must have a boy. When I tell my son to clean his room he says,"

What it ain't that bad" . I'm like

just look at the ceiling fan kid I could spin a thread and knit with that dust.

I agree, work now, play after.

Which reminds me, my son has to do the dishes before he can participate in the cardboard nation event with church tonight.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I voted other. What would be the normal consequences of them not perfoming their duties? I think you should be consistent with normal practices and not make a huge deal out of it. With the homecoming dance, it may become a huge deal, but I think you should be consistent and calm. That may scare them silly but it lets them know their actions caused this and they should have anticipated this.

To me, it is perfectly logical that they have to complete their duties before the dance. It would also be perfectly logical to me that they are allowed no communications or electronics (phone, games, computer, texting, twitter, whatever) until they were caught up in their duties. But what is normal in your houisehold?

Editted to add: You don't need to tell me what is nomal, just tell yourself.

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
from page three.

 

[wildorchid053]

mine are raised and gone.. and i would say no chores no dance..they have no respect for you dad.. time to get some soon.. they have ample time to get it done.. i would take their homecomming clothes and put them in your room.. when they are done you can hand them out to them or who ever gets it done.. if you don't stand your ground now. they will never mind what you say .. this is important to them but it is more important that they respect you too. my daughter was 10 and we painted her bedroom for her suprise birthday.. we were more surprised when we found all sorts of makeup, dvds, and other small stolen items on her book shelves..we called the police and told them what had happened.. then we set up an appt for her to be "turned in" .. the detective scared the h--l out of her and she learned her lesson.. she is now 30 and a wonderful mom and daughter.. so even though it will hurt you more than them, stand up for what is right!. you will never regret it..

 

[LilRalphieRoosmama]

I voted yes but with subsequent grounding. If the dance isn't until tomorrow night though, they have time to get all or at least most of their chores done. If they attempt but don't finish, I feel they should go to the dance but have to double-up chores afterwards. Are there any kids who DID do theirs? Maybe the ones who didn't should have to do theirs too for a week.

Edited to add: the only reason I would let them go is because you have invested money in their dresses already. If you hadn't, then I'd say no.

 

[Mahonri]

Quote:
Amen.

 

[Blue Skys]

If they are well enough to dance, then they were well enough to at least make an effort to catch up for when they took a day or two off when they were under the weather.

 

[skeeter03]

i am with everyone for - do the chores they had to get done all week before they can go to the dance including the messy bedroom -with that I would threaten either you do it or I do it but if i do it its with a pair of gloves and a garbage bag no sorting or anything else anything my hand touches is in the garbage or to good will.
once they are done the dance muahhahahah give it to them slave labor all weekend!!!