Well, my best friend, since I was 16 has been on a selfish, high strung, crazy person streak since she broke up with her daughter's father. They were together, and engaged but never married, for 6 1/2 years. Their daughter is 4 1/2. When she decided to leave him she was going through some rough times with another ex taking her to court and stalking her on made up things. He has mental problems, and because she felt sorry for him she dated him and barely got out of it in one piece. Nearly 10 years later he's still popping up bothering her.
So that trauma effected her relationship at the time, and she was so separated from him, she said he just didn't understand her anymore... and wasn't fufilling her emotional needs anymore. Of course, she met someone, and they talked in secret every night until she decided it was time to move on. I was left out of this last part... as it turns out, this someone was my ex-fiancee who was NO good for me... and not to mention NO good for the 4-5 friends of mine he dated after he left me. I KNOW he's going to be no good for her either. He's needy, he's one of those guys who convinces a girl she needs no one else but him, separates her from the friends she loves and her family... because... again, they couldn't possibly need anyone but him. He's jealous, and he's a real jerk to boot. Too many of his ex's came to me crying like I could fix him or explain why he does what he does... after 10 years, I still can not get him out of my life! He continuously connects with friends of mine... I don't get? She refuses to see that either!
I've voiced my opinions she should stay away from him, but she won't listen... so her second option was to leave me out of if for the sake of our friendship. Apparently, he hates me so much he would prefer she didn't talk to me (see a pattern), also got her to stop talking to 2 mutual friends of ours (the pattern continues). Now she's bugging me to please be involved with them, please be the adult around him... she needs to me to be the 'better' person and please spend time with both of them... no matter how NASTY he is. (and he is!)
With all this said, I think I'm going to be the lesser person (this has been going on for 10 months now), I want to end the friendship... though I am going to miss her and her daughter terribly. I have helped her with food, and cleaning and moving and bills... and she can't seem to get on her feet on her own... she can't seem to do anything but be wreckless and cling to this guy. She admits he's a child, and selfish... and then she demands after all the hurt and pain he caused me, that I act like an adult, because she can't expect it from him?
Now her ex tells me he checked her email, and found her emailing wedding chapels asking for an available date in the next 2 months?!
I want to scream at her, yell, act like a child I suppose... rather then that I am ignoring her phone calls for the last 2 weeks...
I don't know how to go about this? My other friends say what she's doing is bad for her, to me and bad for her family... and I just can't stop her from jumping off this cliff. So how do I get out of this???
P.s. - there is even more to this, but this is all that I really need to get into now.
So that trauma effected her relationship at the time, and she was so separated from him, she said he just didn't understand her anymore... and wasn't fufilling her emotional needs anymore. Of course, she met someone, and they talked in secret every night until she decided it was time to move on. I was left out of this last part... as it turns out, this someone was my ex-fiancee who was NO good for me... and not to mention NO good for the 4-5 friends of mine he dated after he left me. I KNOW he's going to be no good for her either. He's needy, he's one of those guys who convinces a girl she needs no one else but him, separates her from the friends she loves and her family... because... again, they couldn't possibly need anyone but him. He's jealous, and he's a real jerk to boot. Too many of his ex's came to me crying like I could fix him or explain why he does what he does... after 10 years, I still can not get him out of my life! He continuously connects with friends of mine... I don't get? She refuses to see that either!
I've voiced my opinions she should stay away from him, but she won't listen... so her second option was to leave me out of if for the sake of our friendship. Apparently, he hates me so much he would prefer she didn't talk to me (see a pattern), also got her to stop talking to 2 mutual friends of ours (the pattern continues). Now she's bugging me to please be involved with them, please be the adult around him... she needs to me to be the 'better' person and please spend time with both of them... no matter how NASTY he is. (and he is!)
With all this said, I think I'm going to be the lesser person (this has been going on for 10 months now), I want to end the friendship... though I am going to miss her and her daughter terribly. I have helped her with food, and cleaning and moving and bills... and she can't seem to get on her feet on her own... she can't seem to do anything but be wreckless and cling to this guy. She admits he's a child, and selfish... and then she demands after all the hurt and pain he caused me, that I act like an adult, because she can't expect it from him?
Now her ex tells me he checked her email, and found her emailing wedding chapels asking for an available date in the next 2 months?!
I want to scream at her, yell, act like a child I suppose... rather then that I am ignoring her phone calls for the last 2 weeks...
I don't know how to go about this? My other friends say what she's doing is bad for her, to me and bad for her family... and I just can't stop her from jumping off this cliff. So how do I get out of this???
P.s. - there is even more to this, but this is all that I really need to get into now.
Last edited: